phanto

‘If [women] marry for the same reasons as men then why are men not subject to the same brainwashing? Where are the reality shows, movies, drama and fiction aimed at men for the same reasons?’

The simple answer is …everywhere. Virtually all films, TV series and works of literary fiction that target male audiences still portray women as the protagonist’s romantic sex partner. The victorious male gets the girl and the happy ending assumes they will marry once the villain is vanquished.

While men have been culturally brainwashed to resist marriage as an impediment to their freedom, they still defy the patriarchal dictates and marry in huge numbers. About 95% of people marry, half of which are men. Men remarry on average about 18 months after a divorce, whereas women remarry on average 6 years after a divorce. So which of the genders is really hooked on marriage?

‘Young women and girls in particular need to be challenged about their fantasy of domestic bliss and then perhaps they will have their eyes wide open. This challenge is certainly not coming from other women.’

It IS coming from other women – all the time! Have you read any feminist websites lately? Even female MSM journalists continually raise these challenges (despite the lifestyle sections being full of bridal porn). But challenging fantasies of domestic bliss is translated to man-hating by the anti-feminist backlash network. Rape and DV culture is deemed to be just something that man-hating feminists make up.

Also, your assessment of ‘domestic bliss’ discounts the biological imperative to mate. It also discounts the fact that women are as much controlled by their hormones as men are. Women kiss a lot of frogs in their time, not because they are brainwashed by fantasies of romance and domestic bliss, but because they need sex and intimate companionship just as much as men do. In a society that demands marriage or cohabitation as the accepted norm, it’s unrealistic to expect them to live isolated non-married or non-cohabitive lives just to avoid being beaten up.

R0bert

Yes, the Family Law legal system is atrociously adversarial, as is the entire legal system. The 6% of divorces that end up in the Family Court should not be arbitrated by lawyers. That is something that desperately needs to be reformed. Lawyers and courts should be kept right out of family matters, as they serve no purpose whatsoever. Even the most sympathetic of them are in it for the money.

By law, all court appearances by divorce parties require the services of a barrister in addition to the family lawyer – their fees being in the high four figures for a single court appearance. It’s plain ridiculous, not to mention plain theft, for a desperate divorce partner to have to pay these astronomical fees, plus court hire, just to have their case heard.

There should be a free-service independent body of counselling professionals whose (medium salary) job is to arbitrarily apply the 50-50 law (for the 6% that is), unless there is an overwhelming case against a particular party, substantially backed up by police reports. So far, I’ve been impressed enough by the system that the professionals involved – both legal and non-legal – do not automatically respond to the heated accusations of the parties involved in a divorce process.

Even the jerk I described in my last comment to you seems to have been a decent enough father post-divorce. The son, now 13, appears to be able to take each parent at face value, according to how they behave towards HIM – understandably his main priority. As he once told his mother: ‘In Dad’s house, we’re rich and happy. In your house, we’re poor and happy.’

So why did his parents have to end up paying more than a quarter of a million in legal fees just to have him come to that assessment?

"Rape and DV culture is deemed to be just something that man-hating feminists make up."

Please show examples of where Rape and Domestic Violence is openly and publicly championed and celebrated or retract your statement.

Killarney:

Let’s say then that the urgency for men to marry is as strong as it is for women. Is this urgency so strong that you would ignore all the danger signs being presented and decide to enter, or remain in, a domestic relationship?

What could be more important than your own physical safety? This seems to apply specifically to women. Domestic relationships are obviously not as dangerous for men. The figures make this clear.

What is it that pushes women to defy all reason and embrace this kind of relationship? There must be something going on that makes them behave so illogically.

What do you think it is?

Generalising about male and female genders doesn't address the problem of violent crime in which, in DV, the identity of the violent criminal and the victim is known. The problem is very easily solved. Prevent the violent crime at the violent criminal's expense by locking up the violent criminal. How is the violent criminal identified? By committing the violent crime of assault.

The purpose is not to restructure society, not to educate anyone, not to deter anyone, just to solve the problem of violent domestic crime by locking up and not releasing through a revolving door those who choose to commit it.

It's not rocket science, it's not a difficult social engineering problem, where does the stubborn reluctance to solve the problem and move on come from? It must be from an ingrained fellow-feeling with violent criminals.

EmperorJulian:

You have said this same thing so many times I am starting to wonder who you are really trying to convince.

Perhaps you are afraid that there might be a violent criminal lurking just below the surface in your own personality and you want to be locked up before you hurt someone.

It is the only thing that makes sense of your repeated need to tell us what the simple solution is. It is all getting a bit desperate.