Billions of dollars are being demanded by the save-the-perps movement for mental health programmes, education programmes, shelters, DV policing, rehabilitation programmes, marriage guidance, fancy GPS gadgets, societal reconstruction etc to protect the "things that batter" from the consequences of their violence.

Cost of prisons for them? For a start they can be in lockup 23 hours a day except when busy in work gangs under armed guard to pay some of the costs. No privileges. But beyond that, empty the existing prison accommodation by abolishing the violent penalty of prison for all non-violent offences, and establishing non-custodial penalties in its place.

Loudmouth:

“I'm confident that many women would have already made just that calculation.”

So they take responsibility for their choices. Why do you think it is called ‘domestic’ violence rather than just violence? I’m just thinking out loud here. It can’t be just a description of the location of the violence since violence is violence wherever it occurs. It does not make it any worse.

Perhaps people are trying to suggest it is worse because it takes place in a relationship where they think it should not take place. Perhaps they have an attitude to that relationship which they do not have to other relationships. Perhaps they have romanticised that relationship and they are bitter not so much because of the violence but because their romantic notion of domestic relationships which they have built up over many years prior to entering such a relationship has been invaded. Their fantasy world has come crashing down and this is what angers them so much.

Violence happens in many places. We accept it as a reality. We don’t like it but it does not stop us from going about our lives. If our dreams are destroyed then we might become quite angry and aggressive in response but surely we should take responsibility for framing our own dreams.

The outrage about domestic violence far outweighs the outrage about other types of violence but why should it? It all hurts and pain is pain. Why are these women who seem angry about domestic violence not as angry about other forms of violence even when the victims are equally as far removed?

All violence is bad but being confronted with the demise of your self-made dreams can make you respond out of all proportion to the problem

I read this interesting article on DV the other day, maybe some of you saw it.
I was going to share it earlier, but didn't get around to it.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-06-02/police-domestic-violence/6488828

Theres a lot that can be discussed and taken from this article.

Firstly I want to address this 'victim blaming' and 'why don't women leave' issue.

Earlier in this thread I made an argument that seemed to almost defend the perpetrator, without actually doing so.
I argued that two people are responsible for a relationship breakdown, and against the idea that it's always 100% the perpetrators fault.
I argued that if there was just instance of where a perpetrator found themselves in court for DV as a result of the victims 'manipulation' and 'emotional blackmail' then this idea that it's always 100% the perpetrators fault could be dispelled.
With the point being - we need to look deeper because there's obviously more to the story, that is if we really want to get to the bottom of it.

I want to be crystal clear about my position.
I'm asserting that there are some situations where the victim IS CERTAINLY to blame for the relationship breaking down; that through 'manipulation' and 'emotional blackmail' they have pushed their partners into a corner, made them feel trapped and created a situation upon where they will eventually lash out.
Although I recognise that a victim might be largely responsible for creating the conditions upon which their partner will eventually 'lash out', I will not defend the actions of the actual 'lashing out'.
To do so would be arguing that two wrong can make a right.

Phato argues 'Why doesn't the woman leave when she knows theres a good chance of DV reoccurring'?
The Police Officer in the article was in this situation.
I'd argue 'Why doesn't the man leave when he knows there's a good chance of cops and court appearances'?
Theres obviously more going on.
[Cont..]

[Cont..]
"She says when she finally left her partner, she felt conflicted about it. She didn't feel entirely relieved and had many misgivings about what he might still do to her. When he found out she was training to become a policewoman, he took out a domestic violence order against her. Shaw describes this kind of reversal of orders as a control tactic he was attempting a full year after they'd broken up, trying to thwart her career in the police force."

Now if a person who is both a Woman and a Police Officer is willing to recognise 'control tactic's', then why is it not reasonable that a man too can be pushed into a corner due to a woman's 'control tactics's;'
Why then it is not reasonable to consider the real truth that the perpetrator may not always be 100% to blame?

You can't blame a man for being a man.
If the woman was a man and the man was a woman, pushed into a corner she'd likely be acting the same way.

"Shaw says her early relationship helped her learn to spot the signs of a possible domestic violence perpetrator. After the first, she would notice the signs when she was dating other men, and as soon as there were any signs of them exerting control, she'd get out, awareness that needs to be taught to other women."

I support the awareness she wishes to teach other women, but it's a two-way street, men need to be taught the same thing as well, when a woman behavior is unfair and unacceptable.

They say a person needs a few failed relationships to learn how to get it right.
Maybe there's wisdom in that, the officer obviously thinks so.

Which goes all the way back to my first comment; teaching them the 'Weapon's of War'.

My final point:
Do you want to get real and get to the bottom of this, or do you want to merely scratch the surface and screw around?

Here's a good one for Killarney.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-03/one-in-three-young-people-in-prison-have-fasd-in-wa/8319724
Try talking women's way out of that one...

AC: "My final point:
Do you want to get real and get to the bottom of this, or do you want to merely scratch the surface and screw around?"

Pre-zackerly. Round and round the mulberry bush suggesting ever new ways to dun the taxpayers for more and more money without stopping DV by just putting the perps out of business by locking them securely away from where they'll ever get near their victims again.

Some may remember a TV picture of woman sitting in front of a white screen telling her story to a camera off screen. She described how a "thing that battered" kept barging into the home in a drunken rage and inflicting a range of bruises and broken bones. So she left him and went to her mother but the garbage followed her there and beat the bejesus out of her mother with more bruises and broken bones. That was the life the woman had to live to preserve a legal system soft on the "things that batter".

"One night he came home drunk and bashed me before falling in a drunken heap. So I got the shotgun and blew his f&#@& head off."

At this point the scene widened to show the interviewer and the walls of the gaol cell locking the victim up.

(A woman has just left Greenough Prison early after doing time for offing her basher husband)

AC:

Whilst your discovery may go some way to understanding violence in general it does not really explain the exaggerated level of outrage that we see from people like the author of this article.

People are being killed all over the world because of violence. Nearly all them are strangers to us but we do not have the emotional energy to let it affect us. We have to filter a lot of it out because we just cannot cope – that is human nature.

When people react to violence toward complete strangers as if the violence were happening to them then it is reasonable to ask why. Somehow it must be hurting them and I suspect that the ‘hurt’ is because it shows that their ‘fairytale’ view of domestic relationships is fundamentally flawed. Almost from birth young women in particular are fed such false views of domestic relationships. They are always wondering when it will be their turn to ‘win’ the ‘reality’ date or husband. This creates in them expectations which can never be fulfilled and some are more disappointed than others.

This is the real pain for them. They have to come face to face with reality in the real world. Their dreams are just that and domestic violence is a stark reminder of that. It is much easier to lash out at men than it is to face reality about relationships.

Even if we took EmperorJulian’s solution it would not satisfy them because there are other men waiting in line to shatter the dreams of these outraged women. Even if every man was locked up in prison these women would still be angry because it would be the death knell for their dreams.