Another really good article on domestic violence ...from a man's point of view...is this one:
http://www.mamamia.com.au/domestic-violence-2/charlie-pickering-chat-priorities/#KIeIFYQX8du7XRUs.97

What is the point of constantly re-iterating the obvious fact that men are violent towards women? There is no argument about that. How does it change that fact by pointing out that women too are violent towards men and towards children? Why does it matter who is the more violent gender when one act of violence is one too many? Why do people persist in trying to paint a picture of ‘badness’ about one gender or the other? What does it achieve for society?

I think people do it because they want to point out that they too have issues with what they perceive to be the badness in the opposite sex which affects them in their personal relationships. They feel insecure in those relationships and want to blame the other party. They try to make themselves feel less insecure by hitching themselves to a group made up of people who also have the same insecurities. They hope that such a ghetto mentality will help them deny the fact that they need to confront those insecurities. It becomes like a drug where you have to attach yourself more and more to the group and you lose all perspective – it dominates your life.

If they were truly looking for answers to the problem of men’s violence then they would go to a place where they are actually working to find answers and offer their opinions there. If they think misogynist attitudes are to blame then they would join an active group who aim to eradicate such attitudes. If they think men need support in dealing with their anger then they would join a men’s group that helps men in that way. If they really cared about the problem then they would take action but if they only cared about themselves they would be looking for a mob to join.

Entering discussions like this in the hope that they will find some way of avoiding their insecurities is just a cry for help.

Killarney,
How can men take ownership of domestic violence? More to the point why should we?
Policing violent offenders is the responsibility of the state and it's impossible for us non violent men to take any action beyond reporting what we see and hear otherwise we will be the ones in handcuffs.
Watch this, this is how the vast majority of men behave when a woman is threatened and look how it ends;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CseiHw8R0yA
Do you honestly think that men talk about hitting their wives in social settings or that we would cover for someone who did?
Men regard those who are violent with women and kids as the lowest of the low and some of us will not hesitate to inflict a severe beating upon them to teach them a lesson, that's the reason no wife beater with his wits about him is going to let it be known what goes on in his home behind closed doors.
You're brainwashed with this idea of "Patriarchy', this conspiracy theory where men work as a bloc and cover for each other, it doesn't happen. In my whole life I've encountered only one man who admitted to hitting his wife and it was in the context of his whining in the smoko room on site about spending a night in the cells after she'd called the Police. Straight away someone said "What did you expect? You DON'T hit a woman.You should have just walked out on her" and the offender was shamed, bowed his head and ate his lunch in silence.
The other point to be made is that say this conspiracy theory about "Patriarchy" was true, why would we let wife beaters or any other criminal for that matter into our exclusive club? The incompetent,weaklings, bullies and cowards don't last long among virtuous men, we can't stand to be around them and it's for that reason that we can't really keep an eye on thugs and criminals, they're not typically part of our world unless they're exceptionally good at hiding their traits and covering their tracks.

A good article by Erin Pizzey

Working with Violent Women
http://www.avoiceformen.com/women/working-with-violent-women/

I think an article by Erin Pizzey who founded womens shelters would trump Pickering any time.

The Psychology of Female Violence

"Despite advances in gender equality, contemporary society still evidences denial of female violence."

http://www.jaapl.org/content/40/3/442.full

phanto, I've avoided this one so far but have regularly entered them in the past. It's not an abstract topic, perceptions of a gendered nature to family violence have consequences in the real world which I like to think forms some of the motivation for participation.

I don't know how much if anything has changed for those needing support with a physically violent female spouse but when I was still with my ex it was pretty much impossible to get any support to try and get her to stop escalating conflicts to the point of violence. Professionals stated that she is smaller than you so won't really hurt you and accepted a variety of excuses for initiating violence in a way that just reinforced her belief that she could use violence without censure.

Then you head to the family law system where perveptions about violence impact on child residency, financial outcomes etc.

Its a debate of very dishonest methods where the DV is described in the broadest terms (including verbal, emotional, financial etc) amidst claims that its overwhelmingly perpetrated by men.

When you look at the numbers based on actions rather than feminist intepretation men cause more serious physical harm to women than visa versa (although I do wonder how that figure would look if we understood the causes of the far higher male suicide rate better) and men initiate, ore sexual violence than women. Women initiate slightly more of the violence in the home, rates for child harm in single parent lead homes were similar (for the proportion of kids in those homes) when those figures used to be published.

There are a lot of lies and deception in the way family violence is portrayed, some as part of a broader gender agenda and I think from other because they are extrapolating from some experience near to them.

Family violence can occur in any part of society however issues normally associated with disadvantage or mental health play a far bigger role ad predictors for family violence than gender.

R0bert