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The Forum > Article Comments > The male cloak of invisibility > Comments

The male cloak of invisibility : Comments

By Caitlin Roper, published 4/6/2014

The national dialogue surrounding men's violence against women shifts attention from male perpetrators and onto female victims.

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This author has described a problem that is obvious to everyone under the guise that she is trying to stop the language from being watered down. It does not matter what language the media use – what matters is that the violence stops. She wants the language to be as direct as possible in order to ram home the message with as much force that can be mustered. Does she think that will make it stop? Does she think you only have to keep drawing attention to the problem and it will magically disappear? What is the purpose of continually declaring that a problem exists? We need solutions and not descriptions.

Perhaps her behaviour is not designed to help solve the problem of men’s violence but to try and hide a personal problem that she refuses to face. When people say the same thing over and over again it is a sure sign that they are trying to convince themselves of something rather than their audience. She is trying to convince herself that women are powerless in the face of men’s aggression and it appears she spends a great deal of time doing so. The type of aggression she needs to face is not violence but emotional abuse. Women who feel emotionally powerless try to shift the blame for that powerlessness onto men. Physically men may be more powerful but emotionally there is no difference. Some women can harness their own emotional power and stand up to men when they are bullied or intimidated by non-violent aggression. Some women feel that they cannot do so but feeling weak and being weak is not the same thing. It seems to them that the only way to feel strong is to continually point out men’s faults, to decry all men based on the behaviour of some men and to get other equally weak women to join them in their crusade...
Posted by phanto, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 1:50:47 PM
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contd.

Women like this author feel emotionally weak and do not take responsibility for doing something about that weakness. That may be a painful journey but it is a lot less painful than trying to maintain your rage against all men who are violent. It also makes you totally ineffective in trying to help other women who are victims of violence since you are less likely to be objective when you have your own agenda to protect. When you appear to be protecting your own personal issues people stop listening to you because you have no integrity. You just dig a deeper and deeper hole for yourself where your only relationships are with those who are trying to dig faster than you. You can end up a bitter old woman who has contributed nothing of value to society.
Posted by phanto, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 1:52:28 PM
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Rhrosty,
No real man loses his temper in the first place but it's true that some men should not be around women at all and vice versa, no doubt we've all seen domestic violence in our own extended families and we all know what to do about it. That said we can only do so much. I have a dear relative who at 30 years old is presently extricating herself from her third abusive relationship and she also grew up in an extremely violent home. So as a family we're well drilled in how to respond and how to cope but we can also see it coming, we know the type of guy she goes for and why she only chooses violent jerks, we also know how she presses their buttons to make them explode.
All we can do is try to break her fall and work on making her see that after all that's gone before she probably shouldn't be in a relationship with a man at all.

The first step to an honest public discussion is to de-couple the public discourse on family violence from ideological Feminism, Feminists should no longer be heard on this issue because they refuse to acknowledge the role of women in the cycle of family violence.
Posted by Jay Of Melbourne, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 1:56:44 PM
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Unbelievable ! Lies deception and more lies. The author has been well indoctrinated by the feminist establishment but is totally ignorant of the professional research on Partner violence. She would be well advised to study the finding of PASK the largest meta-study to date of partner violence as well as our own ABS Personal Safety Surveys - which clearly show violence in relationships to be far more gender symmetrical http://www.domesticviolenceresearch.org/pages/12_page_findings.htm

She might also approach Australian authorities to reintroduce reporting of the sex of perpetrators of confirmed cases of child abuse, which was stopped in the mid 90'S under feminist pressure because is confirmed finding elsewhere that women are the predominant abusers of children.

Focusing on "gender" rather then the more important contributors to violence such as upbringing ( violence begets violence for both boys and girls ), mental health issues, personality disorders, poor relationship/ communication skills, drug and alcohol abuse, unemployment, poverty etc etc will not solve the problem, indeed the trends are toward more female violence and decking male violence.

To all forms of violence everyone should say NO regardless of gender. If we are not pushing that message we will never overcome it.

I say this a victim of a womens' violence against a man and his children.
Posted by rper1959, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 2:43:35 PM
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funny how many argue that porn has no harmful effects until of course it becomes violence against women. What the author fails to address is that in indigeneous communitites the violence against women and children is astrononically higher than the rest of the community. It is also much higher among defacto relationships than those who are committed in marriage. And then we have Indian and African commuties (oh don't go there). To many uncomfortable facts for anything worthwhile to be done about it.

'Until we acknowledge the issue for what it is and actively address the root causes and factors that facilitate and lead to this violence, we will continue to see women and children dead '

I doubt most of the community really want to face the issues and especially the feminist movement.
Posted by runner, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 2:50:09 PM
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Jay
The “I in 3” website is misleading. While it is true that a minority of victims of domestic violence are male, they are overwhelmingly the victims of violence by other males. As this article concerns the perpetrators of violence, the focus on men is consistent with the data.

I’m less sure about the author’s argument about the passive voice. One effect of using the active not the passive is that the subject is de-emphasised relative to the actor. So comparing:

- Man attacks woman (active)
- Woman attacked (passive)

The active can actually seem to downgrade the victim’s importance in the story.
Posted by Rhian, Wednesday, 4 June 2014 2:54:50 PM
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