Honestly, Rechts, if you don't care what he thinks, why did you spend a couple of hundred words trying to argue against him?

It looks like his article has got under your skin.

'I for one am glad I lived with a number of women before I finally married one.'

Yea something can be proud and boast to your kids about your conquests. Maybe you can advise them how to choose the best sexual partner although I hope you are responsible enough to warn them of the huge increase in the risk of spreading diseases by such 'noble ' actions.

'By all means go live by your moralistic load of BS, and buy the cow before you've tasted the milk.'

I can see why you are quick to use animal illustrations as demonstrated by your view of humanity.

In writing the article I incorrectly used the figure of 50% of cohabiting relationships breaking and 50% marrying after a set time. That was an error as obviously there are some couples who will continue to cohabit for longer, even for a lifetime. The Australian Institute of Family Studies (a federal government agency) in its 2004 statistical profile stated that cohabiting relationships last approximately 2.5 years before either breaking up or converting to marriage; but the conversion rate to marriage has been declining since the 1970's. Among women who began cohabiting in the early 1990s, 46% had married and 46% had broken up by 2001. My apologies for the incorrect figure being in the article. Bernard Toutounji

You need to be more careful with statistics, Bernard, that's for sure.

However, you need to be even more careful when drawing conclusions from those statistics - even the ones that you get right.

You stated in your article that:

"When a couple moves in together it is the fruit of that fact that they have began engaging in sexual relations already. Cohabitation is about sex, let's not be confused."

Yet the source of your statistics, the 2004 report on Diversity and Change in Australian Families says otherwise.

Allow me to quote from it directly:

"...it was not possible to apply the following distinctions to the analysis in this chapter [but] it is worth keeping in mind the five types of cohabitation patterns...

1. Cohabiting relationships that are temporary, casual and convenient. These relationships may be motivated more by economic and protective
than romantic, emotional or physical factors. They involve little commitment to an ongoing relationship.

2. Cohabiting relationships that are an extension of an affectionate, steady relationship, involves sexual intimacy and which will continue as long as the couple enjoy being together.

3. Trial marriages. In these relationships cohabitation is part of courtship which may or may not lead to marriage.

4. Relationships that are a temporary alternative to marriage for people who intend to marry. Living together is a short term arrangement until marriage is economically, legally or professionally feasible.

5. A permanent or semi-permanent alternative to marriage. This may be motivated by economic factors or by negative views about formal mar-
riage or because one person is already married."

http://192.135.208.240/institute/pubs/diversity/DiversityAndChange.pdf

The report itself identifies five different reasons behind cohabitation. But you choose to conflate them into a single type: "Cohabitation is about sex".

It would actually have been more honest of you to reference the document specifically, would it not. Attribution is important, you know. But probably not very wise, when you spin the information in it, the way that you have, eh?

Thanks Pericles. Yes I am aware that there are a host of factors that contribute to a couple moving in together. My article however was not a summary of the AIFS document so I had no intention of going through it point by point. While I note the factors I still hold that genrally speaking (and there are always exceptions) cohabitation is about sex and the lack of ability/desire/circumstance to make a permanent commitment through marriage. The fact remains that cohabitation is socially unstable and I would maintain not even supportive of the type of love that a human person desires, a love that is faithful, freely given and life long.

As Disraeli said: "there are 3 kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics".
The number of couples who cohabit prior to marriage has risen to over 70% in recent years, while divorce rates have fallen slightly.
Studies in the UK suggest that many couples in 'fragile' relationships breakup before marriage, instead of after.
A better result for children, I would think.