Let me tell the writer what it was like fifty or sixty years ago, before easily available and reliable contraceptives: You want sex? Get married!

So a lot of marriages were contracted because it was the only way that people could make love with each other 'respectably'. We nearly all married young (I was 21). A lot of those marriages lasted because, as someone has already suggested, we do grow towards one another, become good friends, mates and companions. But a lot of those marriages didn't last.

All in all, I prefer the present system. By all means wait until you are married, but you have to work at the marriage when you are in it, as all those who have successful relationships know, whether or not they are officially marrried.

I earnestly hope that the girlfriend has found someone less uptight and moralistic and more fun to be with.

Sheesh, all these crazy people! Just shag the girlfriend all that
you can and after a year or two you will realise if it was just
the sex or something a bit more then that, which is the attraction.

If its more, well wonderful, then you can think about getting
serious.

I thought it was good article.

You should take the criticisms in your stride. We live in a world where people demand instant gratification and are very intolerant of people who have a set of values based on lasting principles rather than the latest fad.

If only you had said you were gay, or a disabled black lesbian who decided to hold off on sex then you would have been applauded. But a white, hetrosexual Christian and...well, you can see the comments.

Isn't there at least something that could attract some sympathy from our cultural arbiters? Green is always popular. Have you ever prayed for forests?

Is there an inference that three months 'going together' (in a faithful relationship - meaning no dating others), either with or without sex, is considered long enough for a couple to determine if they are really a good fit? Or a sufficient exposure to warrant a decision being made to cohabit, let alone to get married? If so, cohabiting in this day and age sounds a lot like long-stay musical chairs indeed, or just pure laziness and devil-may-care.

I think the author makes some good points about the hazards of rushing too hurriedly into cohabitation (or into any serious relationship) and includes some statistics which tend to confirm his reservations. Fortunate indeed are those who instantly gel, and go on to a lifetime of happily ever after, but I suspect this would be very much the exception, with most having to hunt long and hard to find a truly lasting relationship. So, what's the big rush?

Mind you, I think leaving sex until the marriage bed courts its own set of problems of possible incompatibility, so I would not generally recommend it, unless religious conviction dictates - and in this latter instance I think the couple should get to know each other really well, including open and honest discussion about sex, to minimise the risk of unappreciated and potentially disastrous surprises.

I think it generally takes a lot to find a truly compatible life partner, and once found they should be cherished with every ounce of one's being, and will be found to reciprocate in kind. Anything short of such a commitment is a poor second or third best.

Yabby, you know, some people can get really hurt by lascivious lascars.

“ I have a far diminished chance of finding that love if I take the easy option now and simply follow the social trend”
I'm sorry, I have read and reread that statement, and I still can't make sense of it.
Have you found your true love, or not? If yes, what are you waiting for? If no, why aren't you still looking?
Either way, what has 'social trends' to do with anything?
I would think even the most devout theist would admit that sex is a pretty important part of a relationship. What happens if you find that while your friendship is wonderful, the sex is not so great?
I know of a number of cohabitors (including myself) who maintained wonderful friendships with ex lovers.
Maintaining good relationships with ex wives and husbands appears to be more challenging.
It seems to me, committing to a life time contract with someone without knowing the full story is exactly like signing a contract without reading all of it.
Not clever at all.