Don't fret. You're all wonderful parents.

No need to justify your decisions.

I do agree with smacking boys if the alternative is verbal or emotional abuse. Ah, the simple language of violence, getting it all over and done with, without the emotional scars.

Pericles,

You must accept though , that whatever you do its teaching the kids some form of aggression.

What's to say manipulating children via distraction is any better. It's still exercising an unfair advantage over a developing brain. Giving kids the message to manipulate people to get what they want.

Blackmail about use of toys, shaming, exclusion, their all just as unethical as violence.

Children respond wonderfully and incredibly quickly to a consistent gentle hand (that’s the one without the stick in it).

Discipline does not have to be unpleasant. The goal is to teach and I can do that without conflict. I’ve found it is about routine, being healthy as possible, boundaries that are set in stone, clear instructions at all times and understanding what is age appropriate. Mostly I have found it is about getting off your butt, being involved in play and what they are doing.

At a basic level we are teaching children how to move through this world without causing harm and learning all the strange rules our society has and what it expects of them. I think a lot of parents hit out of embarrassment, fear, anger – maybe some desperate need to speed up the whole process.

Problem seems to be us parents need the time to parent without panic.

It’s a surprise that hitting parents don’t say “oh you don’t hit, good on ya” instead of jumping to conclusions that children from non-smacking households must be out of control in some way. Then they go on to say how rarely they do it so a semi-hitting household (in their minds) apparently always has obedient children. Gosh really? : )

An unexpected tantrum at the supermarket might bother people having to hear it but it is hardly proof of bad parenting and those scowls from onlookers is more an indication of a snotty unsupportive society.

I also don’t want parent’s right to smack taken away because it worries me where that could lead but what a shame they don’t in turn support parent’s right not to smack. Our Houel being the exception here, as always.

As for other forms of punishment we probably need another thread.

Ray:”A timely smack is the most effective way of correcting bad behaviour in a child.”

Don’t your kids listen to you either then?

I think people next time you're in the supermarket, seeing a little terror go nuts, instead of thinking to yourselves the parents are inadequate, just thank your lucky stars it's not your kid.

It's not all the parents fault, some kids are just more challenging. I have two easy going girls, I'd hate to have to deal with some of the little terrors out there.

At least 50% of parenting is luck.

'Don't fret. You're all wonderful parents.'

Houllie you often write commonsense but this takes the cake. Are you including the parents of the 17 old girl sleeping with footballers, or the parents of the young men involved in the skype scandal or the parents that allow their 11 year olds to run around stealing as they get drunk nightly. Please give us a break. This is not one of your better ones.

It's not often you see a strawman in the very title of an opinion piece.

Anyway, I'd like to know if the police in Sweden actually reported a 500% increase in child abuse, or if there was rather a 500% increase in the number of child abuse reports made to the police.

If it's the latter, this could simply reflect a greater willingness among Swedes to report child abuse, combined with a lower threshold for what is classified as abuse.

If it's the former, then there should be huge increase in the number of Swedish children being admitted to the hospital for injuries. Has there been such a rise? If not, then I call bullsh** on this claim.

In any event, parents who spank should at least warn their kids that there are adults out there who may have bad reasons for wanting to spank them. For illustration, see www.spankingcanbesexualabuse.org