Great article Jim - and a nice counter to much of the homophobic bile and nonsense that's been written at OLO about this subject.

<< Jason Akermanis tells gay men to live a lie. David Campbell shows us how you're treated when you do. >>

Just about says it all, really.

I would make the point that for most of us coming out is not a one off decision for all time but rather a dilemma that we are faced with on a daily basis. I guess that the exception to this are celebrities like Matt Micham and Daniel Kowalski as once they come out the media ensures that everyone knows about it. I see it very much as a personal decision, so I was a little put off by this article as I found the tone judgmental and smug. You have chosen a way of doing this that is right for you so congratulations, but that does not mean that your way is right for me. Nor does it mean that you are somehow a better gay man, which I think was your inference. Personally, I came out to my family and my close friends at a young age that was the right choice for me. However, I consider coming out in the work place and in social situations to be entirely different. The truth is every time I start a new job or meet new people I am faced with the decision about whether or not to come out. If I do it, I tend to wait until people have had a chance to get to know me. The writer mentioned that it is ‘bad form’ to allow people to make false assumptions. What tosh! It is bad form of people to make assumptions; frankly it is none of their business. I may choose to mention it, if I think it is relevant or I feel the desire to. However, I might just as easily not mention it if I feel that imparting the knowledge will have a negative impact on my career or even how much I enjoy a cocktail party. I certainly don’t feel any obligation to do so. In my case no one ever guesses it so I find the whole thing cracks me up. Let them assume whatever they like. Frankly, I think that most people, especially those under 40, really don’t care.

Jim Woulfe

Look, I always write opposition comments to pro-gay type

contributions.

I see homosexuality as a mental illness; so I have

that sort of sympathy towards gays.

What annoys me about the gay "tribe" is their persistence and

evangelical zeal in pushing their point. (excuse the pun).

After reading your article I am no more convinced than ever before of your correctness.

Homosexuality is natures aberration and should be weeded out or at

the least kept firmly under the carpet with all the other "queer"and

immoral stuff of life (e.g. pedophilia et al).

Polemic is polemic. Ho hum. Why did you run away from the other thread, Jim? It's just getting interesting. You too, CJ.

Wolf_Canberra:"Personally, I came out to my family and my close friends at a young age that was the right choice for me. However, I consider coming out in the work place and in social situations to be entirely different"

And I agree. I reckon that Akermanis agrees as well and so did David Campbell until someone did it for him.

You're semsible enough not to make people choose sides straight off the bat when meeting you. By being discreet in new situations you're doing no more than I would in not mentioning that I smoke pot occasionally until I get to know how they might feel about that.

Jim wants people to know he's gay, which is fine, since he obviously feels it is a defining part of his identity. Others don't necessarily feel the same way, as you point out.

<<every out homosexual is walking, talking evidence that a fruitful(!!)...life lies ahead of them.>>

<<The big difference is that new acquaintances tend to make correct assumptions about straight people's sexuality, where they don’t about mine.>>
Should people in consenting adult incestuous relationships or in bestial relationships also come out, lest people make incorrect assumptions about their sexuality?

Proxy and diver dan have spectacularly illustrated why we are so discriminated against.

Well done.