Foxy: In most non fatal physical violence between the spouses. However wives are very much the victims.

I beg to differ on this point. I find that wives are very good at subtle & not so subtle, very nasty, mental & verbal Violence. Most men have no comeback & put up with it.

There is an old saying, "Angel when out Devil when in." Occasionally, it gets too much & men lash out. The scenario is like the little sister who annoys her brother until he hits her back & guess who gets caught. The same thing happens here.

Foxy: Wife-beating is a widespread and very serious problem.

Yes it is, but Husband Baiting has to be recognized as a real thing also. Still, no excuse for hitting a woman. As they say, "$h!t Splatters" & it's the man that gets covered in it every time.

Jayb's on to it.

Getting very hot now.

"The scenario is like the little sister who annoys her brother until he hits her back & guess who gets caught. The same thing happens here."

This is kind of hard for me to lay it all out, so I might jumble it up a bit.

When kids are really young they learn 2 social behaviors
'Do as your told' (The respect your elders line) and;
'Tit for Tat' (with peers, if you touch me, I'll touch you)

- And Boys and Girls fight differently. -

Think about the difference between boys and girls
Before they even know what their privates were for.

Think about what boys are first;
and then think about how girls are different.

Boys are more inclined to have a physical interaction with other boys sooner.
- Where in comparison girls are more likely to have long running petty squabbles.

Another aspect
Boys bodies are built for physical strength;
Where in comparison girls bodies are built to reproduce.

How the physical or emotionally weaker person fights a physically or emotionally stronger person.

Blokes get backed into a corner and will lash out.
They are more likely to lose their temper and be angry and confrontational, and not hold it in.

Women play a different game,
They play 'fight without fighting'
- Moving the pieces in the background with a smile on their face.
Blokes don't know this game well, it's a blind spot.

The physically or emotionally weaker person will manipulate to even the playing field.
People use whatever they have.

Relationships can be complicated.
Sometimes people can be so tightly wound they self-implode keep fighting because they've been disrespected or their needs aren't being met and they push the people they care about away and cant stop it.

[Cont.]

It's a complicated thing to try and analyse the way in which loving relationships digress to become power struggles;
- And then sometimes all out war.

As well as this, man have an approach mechanism;
and women have a filtering mechanism

Women filter out men they don't like pretty quickly into the 'friend zone'

And whether its some kind of genetics or DNA thing;
Women are more attracted to the types of physically stronger, confident (and ignorant) 'alpha males';
And less attracted to the types of 'beta males' that would probably treat them better in the first place.

Society has been working on this 'equality' basis;
Trying to make men into women and women into men.
Instead of understanding and recognising what makes us different.

If you really want people to have better relationships
- Then teach them how to handle situations that relationships will produce beforehand.

I honestly don't believe that blokes want to deal with cops, go to court or jail and lose their kids;
- Any more than women want to get bashed.

Foxy,

Where there is clear evidence of "broken bones, smashed faces, dead bodies, eyewitnesses and doctor's and police reports" Then I have no problem with courts restricting a father's access to children.

However, where there are no "broken bones, smashed faces, dead bodies, eyewitnesses and doctor's and police reports" as often happens in contested divorces today, then there should not be an automatic acceptance of the woman's claims as fact.

There are also many cases where custody of the children has been automatically awarded to the woman where there is clear indication that she is not suitable.

This discussion is now going around in circles.
We're merely covering ground that's already
been covered. For that reason I'd like to
Thank all who have contributed and I look
forward to our next discussion.

For me this one has run its course.

AC: Where in comparison girls are more likely to have long running petty squabbles.

What I call “Dolly Syndrome” Some little girl played with another little girls Doll & that little girl has never forgiven her, 40 years later the little girl still hates the other little girl for touching her Doll. Women do the same with men too.

AC: - Moving the pieces in the background with a smile on their face. Blokes don't know this game well, it's a blind spot.

Oh yeah, that’s so right on. I have learnt what to watch out for. That makes them even more mad when you call them out. If they can’t get you to be physically Violent then you are accused of being “Passive Aggressive” which I'm told is just as bad. Can't Win. Ay.

AC: I honestly don't believe that blokes want to deal with cops, go to court or jail and lose their kids; - Any more than women want to get bashed.

Exactly.

SM: There are also many cases where custody of the children has been automatically awarded to the woman where there is clear indication that she is not suitable.

Oh, so right. We have a couple of kids up the road in Foster Care. Their mother is a Druggie & has serious mental problems. The kids’ father is a nice bloke, But the Court gave the kids to the mother because they were very young. The mother can’t handle the kids because they interfere with her partying, drugs & boyfriends so the kids are fostered out. Go figure how that works. Talking to the Foster mom this morning on my morning walk with my three little dogs. I think the Foster mom just wanted someone to talk too.