Dear Foxy,

I've had quite a few instances when I though my time was up.

Once was under an Army T10 chute I thought had completely malfunctioned but just had a nasty twist. Another was kitesurfing when an insane launch unintentionally had me heading for the hard stuff. Luckily ended in a meter of water but even that delivered me badly concussed and pissing blood through the night. Unlike a diagnosis of inoperable cancer many of these gave me enough time to 'think this might be it' but not enough to contemplate much beyond that.

The only occasion I had any significant amount of time was when the ticker decided to sprint off. Dropped me on to the slate floor, totally unconscious. Came to and managed to crawl a couple of meters then couldn't even raise my head an inch. Wife and children with really stressed looks on their faces loomed over me (apparently I was a very unbecoming grey colour) having to fight off waves of darkness had me thinking I was about to slip off this mortal coil. I remember being at peace with the thought. I was certainly worried about my wife and kids, I wanted to comfort them but couldn't which frustrated me. Otherwise I was calm through the nearly half and hour it took for the ambo's to arrive (we live in a small country town) which was a bloody long time with your own thoughts, especially when you're at the pointy end.

In hospital one of my fundamentalist relatives asked the question – did I think about God during the time on the floor? I remember being a little surprised myself that I could truly say I hadn't.

Friends of ours lost their 20 yo daughter nearly 2 years ago. The mother has turned to religion for solace and answers. I would never judge her for a moment. Losing one of your children must bring a debilitating sorrow that the rest of us would find hard to fathom. A similar sorrow might come with the realisation one's own life is limited.

Hi Foxy,

In 2013 I had a heart attack, spent 12 days in hospital, 10 in ICU, not much fun. Had a very good Specialists, said I was about the most laid back patient he had come across. Was I just being brave, no way, or was my attitude bravado on my part. I don't think so, I take very much a fatalistic attitude, I didn't want to die, that's foe sure, as I told the Doc, but I didn't experience fear, for some reason to the point where some thought I didn't understand the seriousness of my situation, but I did and when I spoke to different people including the various doctors I made it clear I did understand the seriousness.
p/s There is always an up side, 12 days in hospital lost 13kg, sure beats 'Jenny Craig'. ha ha.

I would like to talk about death, and more precisely the way we the living send our dearly departed off. I have always believed "funerals" are for the living and not for the dead.
As you get older you seem to attend more and more funerals, In my case close family, dad, mum, uncles aunts etc, only natural, that is the way of things. As I have said before my partner is Maori so I have attended a number of Maori tangi's over the years, and European funerals, and for attaining comfort and closure for the living, particularly for those closest to the deceased, the Maori tangi beats the European funeral hands down. Takes 3 and now often 4 days, as so many have to travel a long distance, like from Australia. It is important that all who possibly can attend, do attend, that's why the numbers often run well into the 100's even 1000's and the way things transpire over those days, that those closest receive so much support from others, that their burden of loss and sorrow is carried so much easier than it is for Europeans with our relatively quick send offs.

George,

I think your premise is flawed. I don’t think either of those statements are necessarily extreme. Extreme would be either side wanting the other wiped out.

The first statement is sound Protestant Christian and Islamic theology and billions of people believe it. While not necessarily extreme, making the second statement would still be going a bit overboard. It would be more accurate to say that theists have an irrational belief or that religious belief is irrational, because being religious doesn't necessarily mean that one is irrational in other ways.

Either way, if one were to express the first attitude while others contemplate the closeness of their own death, then that would just be childish and I would agree that someone who said such a thing was probably trying to reassure themselves of their beliefs. If one were to express the second attitude while others contemplate the closeness of their own death, then it would be careless and a bit unfair to not follow it up with the acknowledgment that we don't usually think rationally in times of distress anyway. But it would be unlikely that such a person was trying to reassure themselves of that belief because, unlike the theist, there is nothing holding them back from altering their position if they fear they're wrong.

They would have to have a pretty dreadful family and friends to fear they'll see them again in some afterlife.

Dear George,

You wrote: "I am an atheist, and all those who believe in the divine or afterlife (however imagined), are irrational."

I think none of us are completely rational. However, I think a belief in something for which there is no evidence is irrational. That is not to condemn belief in either a divine or an afterlife. The belief in either is certainly irrational, but we have no obligation to be rational.

There's no real difference between positive thinking and prayer, as a part of their therapy people with serious illness are often counseled on maintaining a positive inner dialogue, to get that little voice inside saying "I'll beat this!". My Mum has MS and she sees a psychologist to keep working on her mental state as well as doing physio and whatnot for her physical problems.

Thank You for sharing your thoughts and
your experiences - many of which are very moving
and leave me lost for words. We live in the
21st Century and in our Western Culture - (whose
message is one of self-empowerment) we have
come to expect that with technology, money, know-how,
rights, medicine problems can all be solved. "You can do
it!" And, often this is true. However, an encounter with
death - tells us that ultimately we can't. And its this
knowledge that can affectively hit many of us with full
force. To some, its a matter
of "Any port in a storm." To others - Religion, gives
the comfort they seek. To others still, it goes deeper -
it's a matter of faith.
And others don't turn to religion at all - finding solace in
other ways.

One thing that I am learning from all the different posts is -
Can anyone of us really predict with any certainty - how they will really react in times of crisis?
I would have said that I definitely could
a few years ago. Now, I'm not so sure.