Dear Poirot,

The lines continue to change.

Now the emphasis is not on "Stopping the boats."

But "Stopping the boasts."

It's a fundamental method to allow pollies to
extricate themselves from difficulties that still
persist. The less people know the better.

I may be on to something here.
It has been said Abbott is buying up the boats to use them at a later time.
Should any of his ministers actually reveal any news he will put them aboard one and see them of.

Dear Poirot,

This joke sums it up:

While riding his bicycle a Member of Parliament is
hit by a truck and dies. His soul is met by St
Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome," says St Peter.
"I've got orders from the boss that before you get
settled you've got to spend one day in Heaven and one
day in Hell - and then decide where you're going to
stay."

"That's easy," replies the MP. "I want Heaven."
"No, it doesn't work that way. You must spend 24 hours in
each place and then decide."

St. Peter takes the MP down, in the elevator to
Hell.

The doors open and the MP notices many of his colleagues
and friends there. There's a golf course,
a club-house, lunch is served and they eat lobster and caviar,
drink champagne, and have a great time. Before long 24 hours
pass and St Peter comes back and takes the MP back up in
the elevator to Heaven.

Here the MP moves about with
contented souls from cloud to cloud playing the harp and
singing. 24 hours go by quickly,
St Peter comes for the MP.

"Well, you've been in both places now, which place have you
decided on?"

The MP replies, "I'd never thought that I'd choose Hell,
but all my friends are there and they're having such a good
time, I'd like to be with them."

The MP is taken down in the elevator to Hell.

As the MP
steps out of the elevator he finds himself entering a barren
wasteland full of garbage. His friends are dressed in rags
(earlier they had been beautifully and formally dressed) and
they look miserable.

The Devil appears, and says, "Welcome to
Hell." The confused MP says, "Yesterday, I was here and there
was a golf-course and a club and we ate lobster and caviar,
drank champagne and danced and had a good time. Now all there
is, is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look
miserable. What happened?"

The Devil smiles and replies,

"Yesterday we were campaigning.
Today you voted for us!"

Foxy,

Excellent!

Here's Barnaby's statement submitted after his Wedding/study trip.

http://images.smh.com.au/file/2013/10/06/4807827/BarnabyJoyceMalaysiaExpensesClaim.pdf

Lot's of blather in that one - most of which could be gleaned without stopping over in Malaysia (at taxpayers's expense)on the way home from a wedding.

But, then again, it appears quite comprehensive...

But then again...

"My study period in this country was only of one day's duration, but it was of great assistance in familiarising myself with Malaysia..."

One day's duration?

On the way back from the wedding in India.

Hmmmm.....

Dear Poirot,

It's amazing isn't it what they can with a clear
conscience count as free, all-expenses-paid
"study" trips.
Freebies seem to be a part and parcel of political
life. Unless of course (shock, horror)
one can finger-point and get
political mileage out of accusing others of doing it.
Then it's a different story.