R0bert, back around 2003 I suffered a severe reactive depression during the third of the court matters brought by the ex out of the 6 that she would eventually pursue, all funded by Legal Aid on her side and by me on mine. I had just sacked my lawyer as I was almost out of money and she was not doing as asked anyway, so I was self-reprsented.

At the same time I was involved in a long and very bitter fight with the CSA, who seemed determined to send me broke. When I tried to point this out I was told "bankruptcy doesn't change anything, you'll still have a debt to us". Since the debt was because I'd spent all my money on lawyers that was like a kick in the teeth.

I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed reactive depression and said "You've got every reason to feel lousy. If you didn't I'd be very concerned."

He went on to say that he had a contract to provide services to the CSA and that he saw several staff each week. It seems to me that those staff are in an impossible position, since they know the reality of many paying parents is that the money taken from them makes their situation untenable (not so much these days) and that if they become unemployed they will probably remain that way, but they have to follow the draconian process regardless.

Anybody but the most rabidly antisocial ideologue would find that difficult to deal with.

Nobody wins, it's a negative sum game.

RObet, Antiseptic, Individual, Belly... you say it well.
Lexi, your response to Antiseptic's question:- "What is something that our society values highly that is seen as an essentially male characteristic, rather than as an indicator of personal qualities that may be irrelevant to masculinity?" reduced male worth to an instrument to provide women with babies. And that, unfortunately, is how most women now see men, which is why they're prepared to dump their spouses and keep the kids away from them without giving a toss for their sperm-provider's feelings. If a man's physical appearance is so important, why then don;t women complain at the fashions that decree males may never show their thighs - even when swimming, and never expose any other part of their body except when swimming?

Dear ybgirp,

My previous answer was in response to Antiseptic's
question. And I thought it was fairly obvious
as to why I chose that area in reply.

I, like many women I know, admire the male body
but our admiration does not stop there. There's
much more to admire. For me
personally - I like a man who's mysterious,
sensitive, and strong. I love tenderness, but
it is the rarest emotion one encounters.

Dear Antiseptic,

I'm so sorry to read about your bad experience with lawyers
and your depression. You've had a lot to deal with - and
yet by the sound of it - you've remained quite positive.
To me that indicates that you've got the strength to
come out of all this - and you'll do well.
I hope that I'm right. I wish you well.

Dear RObert,

Thanks for broadening the discussion.
It's interesting to see things from various perspectives.
And you always present both sides of the coin.

ah, Lexi, it was all long ago and (not very) far away and much untreated sewage has passed under the bridge for lawyers to process since then. My interest in the way our society works is from my attempts to understand why my nation had allowed itself to arrive at the position it had, when the stated intent of policies was to create fairness and they quite obviously didn't.

I'm a committed logical positivist. I think everything is ultimately knowable and that contradictions are the key to noticing when our understanding is at odds with reality.

It's what keeps me within sight of sanity - most of the time.

Some posters here are deeply depressing but I won't give up yet getting them to take off their blinkers. Most won't. History shows us that some people will never be inclined to think about more than themselves hence to social, political & economic situation this world is in. Greed & prejudice are everywhere, it can't be eliminated. what could be eliminated though is the dumbing down the masses through education & the hype of sport.
From my own observations I found that the lack of physical effort on a regular basis is a major part of mental problems. The mind can be stimulated to some extent without physical effort but satisfaction comes from seeing something actually done. Just look at how people with gardens or restoring things are far more balanced then those who just do saturation reading without an ounce of imagination.
Obesity is one of those results which in turn results in loss of self esteem & social isolation.
Sport is good but it has been hijacked by couch potatoes with only profit in mind resulting in fit young people carrying on like monkies. One thing that gets to me particularly here in Australia that they simply can't engage in any activity without turning it into a competition. We used to have just plain fun laying soccer or skiing or being on the lakes or rivers. Not an ounce of competition visible for miles. I suppose that's one of the differences in mentality between cultures.

Dear individual,

I strongly disagree with your take on reading.
Literature offers us images to live with.
Not only does literature provide images to
live with, it provides knowledge to strengthen:
the "hard" knowledge of fact and data, and
the "soft" knowledge of the human heart - facts
about human behaviour that cannot be isolated in
a laboratory but which can be experienced.

I know about a nine-year old boy living in Broken
Hill in the Australia of the Great Depression
reading "Treasure Island." He came to recognise
that villainy can wear an attractive black patch.
Then after reading "The Children of the New Forrest,"
He not only learned something of the geography and history
of England, but became a confirmed and ardent Royalist,
inwardly refuting his teacher's attempts to instill an
admiration of Cromwell and his Roundheads. To this day
he would prefer a dapper Cavalier dandy to a Puritan
zealot. And later literature presented him with options
of human belief and behaviour from which to choose.

It isn't just one book but a host of reading experiences
of good, bad, and indifferent literature which provides
a means of weighing one's life against a wider social
context.