Dear Graeme M.,

My apologies for not responding sooner. However
I'd used up my quota of posts so I was unable to
do so.

Medical dilemmas frequently become moral (and legal)
ones. In the past births and deaths happened when
they happened, often without medical intervention.
If a baby was too premature or defective, or if a
seriously ill person was dying, there was little
the family could do about it other than to offer
comfort.

Today, most people are born and die in hospitals under
the supervision of medical personnel who sometimes
decide to keep them alive long beyond the point at
which they would normally have died.

I guess this comes from the fact that physicians are
expected to do all they can to sustain life.

It is difficult to understand when the preservation of
someone's life helps no one, and is desired neither
by the patient, nor those who love them most dearly,
why doctors cannot let the patient die in peace and dignity.

Perhaps in the future - the laws will change - providing
enough safeguards are added. But as others have pointed out
it is never an easy decision to make.

It is sad that the professional soldier not only runs
the risk of getting killed, but has to kill whomever the
politicians choose to call enemies while at the same time
not allowing citizens the right to die if they so choose.

But that's politics. Pressure needs to be applied for changes
to occur. And it has to be a collective decision.

Dear Hasbeen,

I agree it is never easy to let others go.

Dear Suse,

I also wonder about that woman's mental state.
I wish she'd had couseling.
I seem to remember that you're a nurse.
You must have witnessed death many times and would
know how difficult it is to let someone go.

Everyone has a right to die. Those against it can always take on the financial outlay & the physical care if they believe someone has to live on because someone else says so.
If I become a burden to my family I'll rather top myself than wreck their lives. I'm just not that selfish & I hope I'm assessing myself correctly. I don't want to be lying in a bed Just to be kept alive for years. I wouldn't want it & even less like it.

how difficult it is to let someone go.
Lexi,
It's my guess that your sentiments & emotions would change instantly if you were made to put your money where your words are. It wouldn't take long at all once your savings are gone yet you still have to fork out to keep a person alive in misery because you don't want them to die. You'd soon see their death as a double blessing.

Yes Lexi, I am a nurse, and I currently work as a community nurse with aged care and palliative care clients, among others.

It is rarely the medical personnel who are 'preventing' very aged or terminally ill people from dying sooner, or when the patient wants to die.

More often it is the medical staff who are trying to talk the relatives or friends/next of kin into stopping active treatment (fluids, medications, antibiotics) for their gravely ill patient.

We try to advocate for the patient when the emotional attachment of their loved ones clouds their view of the current situation.
However, until it is legal to do so, euthanasia remains out of bounds for us

Suicide is not illegal, but unfortunately there are many near suicide attempts that leave the patients in an even worse position than they were before.

You would have to be very certain of what works, and what doesn't...

You're right, Suesonline… Though the circumstances weren't funny the look on the consulting neurologist's face in the emergency room was when I, as next of kin, continued to refuse an MRI whilst 17 staples were put into my father's scalp after his bad (and last) fall.

I did understand the situation but it was as if he'd never before encountered a family member who didn't demand every extreme intervention available in a modern city hospital – and with the equivalent of a Dr House on permanent standby.

Dad's artificial heart valve/warfarin situation was explained along with his pre-dementia instructions and wishes (though I was not only NOK but also had his signed POA)… But he only seemed to be mollified after I handed him my mobile phone to talk to my A&E Supervising Nurse eldest sister followed by my sister-in-law – the Specialist GP.

After a short return to the family home and our care, one week in hospital before three in a brilliant palliative care facility his death was dignified even if the preceding two years of dementia were anything but.

I know as certainly as I can know anything that if the deeply religious, dignified man I knew as my father could have foreseen the rapidity and degree of decline of his cognizance – he would have topped himself to avoid what he would have regarded as the shame of it.

Most people want the peace of mind the choice and ability to effect death when it suits them would bring.

Most people, would not actively do so.

(My siblings and I are now very certain of what works, and what doesn't…!)

Just to cut through some of the fog, it would be eminently desirable if those who suffer from a terminal illness and don't want their life extended through intervention, could explain that to the medical staff when admitted where they are able to do so. As well, what about some paperwork pre-prepared to cover those circumstances?

Treating medical staff cannot read minds and they risk all sorts of very nasty legal repercussions where they are perceived (always wrongly) to be doing anything outside of courageous lifesaving, using every bit of expertise and technological advance available to them.