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The Forum > General Discussion > Lying; Good Parenting Practice?

Lying; Good Parenting Practice?

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R0bert don’t forget the woman, if the man was found guilty then a mother is generally regarded as failing to protect her children and the department can step in and remove them. Without being found guilty the mother is also regarded with suspicion as to her role in events and further charges could possibly be laid against the mum.

Trust me, the lives and wellbeing of children are often discarded (they don’t vote or organise protests or hire decent lawyers) and in this case the man has been through a horrible ordeal but I wonder how long before the impact is over for the children. Children can’t fight for themselves so I think we do need to place more importance on protecting them as a group in our society. If we want them to grow into healthy adults I think we better treat them as damn important now.

With complaints made to the police I’m not sure they could simply walk away, society would want to know why people making allegations were ignored. The time delay with the arrest is strange, sloppy policing maybe.

What I was yawning about were the comments I found on the net from men, they were stupid and bitchy rather than supportive of the man or the situation… obviously not OLO men. Given this man has told his story to the press it is probably part of a healing process for him. We don’t know him; he may have a lot of support and be feeling quite triumphant now for all we know.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 10 November 2012 8:16:13 AM
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http://menz.org.nz/2012/should-i-hug-my-daughter-in-public/#comments
“V_man says:
Sat 3rd November 2012 at 3:53 pm
What a massive amount of damage has been done to that family and those children! Someone needs to be held to account. At the very least there needs to be recognition that these false allegation do a lot of harm to children.”

“Shinhee Yi says:
Sat 3rd November 2012 at 4:52 pm
Dam Thing like this happens because there are too many women politician in Parliament?
Ya this shows clearly New Zealand is Anti male society.
Next thing you will see is Man walking out from family or No wanting daughter.
No wonder Man do not want to be married it’s curse rather then blessing.
Only be only blessing for women.”

I don’t think I can log in there and have a convo without the pitchforks coming out.

Why is it assumed a lot of harm to children is the result in these situations? I don’t think this is true if parents consider how they will protect them. Not easy given emotional turmoil at the time but “not easy” can get bent.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 10 November 2012 9:44:34 AM
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2p's said..""I don’t think I can log in there and have a convo without the pitchforks coming out.""

thats egsactly why most people bite their tongue
but to let that stop you is just being silly..just say it piper
and if they complain..so what?

""Why is it assumed a lot of harm to children is the result in these situations?""

i made a lot of consious choices..wether or not
to addict my kids to my love..keep them fixated on me..or deevelop into the world as a functioning human..

how many times do kids need to hear..'i love you'
[i cant recall a single instance of it..and as for hugging and kissing..thats what we do to lovers not thrust upon kids..

[thats not to say its right..or wrong..
its just a lot of folks say i love you for petty things..or by rote

or over use it..[like my ex wife was great at saying the words
till it came down to the deed's..[if your really loved you know it..who needs to be told it constantly?

from experience you buy the kid a treat[cheap fix....or take them out
they show they love you for thinking of them..but dependance on it..devalues..and even distorts how love is percieved..or achieved

its needy..do you really love me?
or what i can do for you?..or may do to you ..if you dont 'say 'it'

i say i love you to my kids and they say we know
if you know you dont need be told it..you just know.[its assumed..but if the parent says i hate you..then i love you..its just playing games.

love isnt a tap..you turn off or on by saying it like a mantra
to help you get what you want..for fear the love dries up

it just sounds so needy[both ways..
how many hookers just want to be loved..for me*..not what cheap tricks they give out to anyone..with the cost of the ticket.
Posted by one under god, Saturday, 10 November 2012 1:34:12 PM
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""I don’t think this is true""..re the harm..of 'these situations'

i do..im sorry i so much prefer to say i loove you[than i disagree with you..but piper let loose here

we do care..if you have it worrying you
get it out...yell if you must..vent..
it cant make us love you any less..

yes males have got it tough..but so too mothers
some men like playing the poor me..so that the girls try to compensate

i can so hear clever guys playing their cards
""i so wish i could visit my kids..but..love me..poor me..feel sorry for me''..but i found in life we get as we give..and often more that we gave..

some are really great at getting that extra bit
[often taught manipulation..by over parenting..making us dependant..

its like a love drug..why are they so needy..
its not like kids got a choice in it...
or know IF its really love

..or other.
Posted by one under god, Saturday, 10 November 2012 1:34:37 PM
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I’ve known a lot of little children that say I love you to strangers at the drop of a hat, I’m told there are various attachment disorders associated with what they are saying but I mostly suspect that phrase is just over used by adults and they usually get a good reaction for saying it so keep trying it out on everyone.

Nah the Menz group wont hear what I say. I did read some interesting thoughtful comments; I just wish they were in the majority. There was one appallingly stupid letter written to the writer of the article in there though.

Hey hugs and kisses are good OUG, but yeah they kind of become less and less in our culture as a child gets older. A tall 10 year old girl kissing and touching dad a lot might make strangers stop and check what they are seeing. And if they were suspicious then I believe they had to follow it up, too many people turn a blind eye more often than speak out. I’m still surprised no one stepped up in the moment if they were disturbed enough to make it all official later.

And all around us is talk about priests and people not only not stepping forward but hiding, moving and protecting those people. Everything is out of balance.
Posted by The Pied Piper, Saturday, 10 November 2012 5:36:36 PM
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im a little concerned how the issue [of kids is becomming muddied
recalling the move last month to shut down bloggers..no i suspect they are lookinmg to hiop onto the issue

to get the censure of info..they so desire
what better than kiddies?
http://www.firmmagazine.com/features/1219/Schofield%2C_the_decoy_witchhunt_and_the_black_arts.html

http://21stcenturywire.com/2012/11/11/an-attempt-to-erase-history-bbc-and-downing-street-hope-entwistle-sacking-will-stop-the-hemoraging-of-public-confidence/

its about oppertuinism[think like children overboard

Since Friday’s assessment of David Cameron’s most embarrassing TV challenge by seemingly harmless personality Philip Schofield, the whole national conversation is now being engineered by Downing Street and top media executives, to rotate away from Jimmy Savile and MP Tom Watson’s call for a rooting out of organized pedophilia in government – and over to protecting the allegedly fragile reputations of hereditary elites like Lord McAlpine, who according to major newspaper editors and TV pundits, have suddenly become victims of a ‘witch-hunt’ for paedophiles.


Petraeus grabs a little with his biographer and has to resign (we are told), yet British media and government figures have been outed for buggering little boys and everyone scrambles to cover it up.

Strange.

I have often wondered if the price of being allowed into the upper levels of society is that you do something which if made public would destroy your career; a built-in self-destruct device to make sure you will always do as you are told to do by your masters. Maybe buggering a little boy is a political rite of passage, dark and arcane, like the lying in the coffin nude and confessing your darkest secret ritual at Skull & Bones.

Or it simply could be that people at the top of our societies are universally sick people.
Posted by one under god, Tuesday, 13 November 2012 6:24:17 AM
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