There was a story a week or so ago about the comments by an obstetrician in Perth to the effect that women delaying childbirth until their late 302 or 40s were being "selfish" and creating a great deal of problems for obstetric wards.

This has been follwod by a couple fom pieces by women attempting to explain their reasons.

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/calling-older-mothers-selfish-is-a-sign-of-misconception-20111011-1liyy.html

"Those who did not have a child said the main reason was not having a partner, or being unable to find a partner willing to commit to fatherhood. Very few women wanted to have a child while single."

"Women with partners also reported that a main barrier was their partner's reluctance to have a child, or another child. Some said that disagreement over childbearing threatened their relationships, and that they avoided talking about wanting children in case their partners left."

and

http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/having-a-child-at-the-right-time-is-easier-said-than-done-20111012-1lkzh.html

"And where do men figure in this debate? While I know that the physical reality is not as acute for men, I have lost count of how many women have said to me that they cannot meet a man who wants to commit to children."

I think I can shed some light on the reason for men choosing to vote with their feet when it comes to children:

http://www.csa.gov.au/

http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/

You women have got what you wanted. Now, apparently it's mens' fault that it hasn't worked out the way you were told it would.

Yeah, riiight...

One driver behind men not wanting to commit is the fear of being screwed by the system should the relationship fail.

The chances are high these days and, any man knows that if he finds himself in this situation he then has little to no chance of restarting due to financial constraints placed on him by the very unfair system they call child support.
He also knows that even if his partner plays up on him, then leaves, he still gets screwed.

Many guys these days are in good paying jobs and prefer to go out and have fun, if they hook up for the night then that's great, if they don't, there is always the brothel on the way home.

Ther wouldn't be a guy alive that doesn't know a mate or two who have been screwed over by this system.

It's the old story, for every action there is a raction. And this is the reaction we are seeing now.

Well, anti, maybe they're different women. Those women who want extra conditions favouring women in CSA and Family court, and those looking for a hubby to have kids with.

I reckon it's way down on the list this fear (irrational or otherwise) of being screwed over by the CSA.

The fear of being 'old' or 'conservative' or 'tied down', are way above the fear that some distant time down the track the marriage will disolve and there will be kids and/or property involved. Young guys don't really think that far ahead. The more imediate fear is that they will be curtailed from passing out in the gutter with a kebab in their hand every other night, and the real and terrible fear of shopping for 'scatter cushions' at Ikea.

Scatter cushions can make most guys break out into a cold sweat. the CSA, pft.

Men have never really been the ones to race to the alter and it is getting less so I beleive because we celebrate youth in society. We also celebrate independence and the individual.

The 'brand' of marriage and kids is not seen as 'cool'. Name me one cool father. Except me of course. The idea of marrage as 'slavery' and being 'tied down' is not new, it;s what bucks nights are all about, but people live longer and we now have a more drawn out adolescense and period of world travel screwing around and doing drugs. Or maybe that's just me.

But eventually people look for something more. There's only so much of this decadent lifestyle one can enjoy until boredom actually sets in.

Having said that, once married, guys have much more to lose. As I always say, the woman will more likely be staying in the family home after divorce, with the kids, with a bit less money. The guy, well, the rent or the dingy 1 bed flat he can afford while he's paying the family mortgage and seeing his kids every second weekend, doesn't sound like much of a life.

The way of life has taken a turn for the worst. Young blokes these days would rather bye a new car than than put a deposit on a house. Women have made themselves freely available for sexual activity, so what do you expect. Commitment to me is for life. People shack up these days. Commitment does not come into discussion, why should it. Free sex for all, who wants to paddle around in the same water hole like a duck for life. Women have gone beyond the boundaries, and played into the hands of men, If you need a committed woman these days, bye one from overseas,they will love you for life.

This could easily become a male gripe fest (all those embittered men) but it could also be a useful discussion.

Another issue that a lot of men are all to well aware of is how often sexual intimacy becomes a rare event or a thing of the past once kids arrive and stays that way well past the immediate practical issues of lack of sleep with a newborn.

A variety of theories about why that's so but whatever the causes it's not good for relationships and hardly an inspiration for men.

R0bert

I'm struggling to understand what the issue is- why do you have a problem if women would rather have children later in life?
After all, most Australians that DON'T fall out of school prior Year 12 tend to spend what used to be their 'child-bearing years' studying or building up a stable career/income so they can achieve a more livable standard for themselves and any children they have.

If anything, these people are not only the smart ones, but actually the commendable ones.
Hardly anyone is mature enough to start having children until after this stage.

Unless you think the 'right' way is to be popping out children while you're still 17 without any foresight other than to buy a small set of clothes and a crib?