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The Forum > General Discussion > Lesbian foster parent controversy

Lesbian foster parent controversy

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suzeonline,
So you condition by your mind's view a child to determine his / her sexual orientation which is opposite to the factual reality of his / her biological sex.

I have a couple of male friends who love dressing up in women's clothes, yet both have very stable long marriages and each have grown family. One has three daudhters and a son, the son is a ballet dancer in Switzland and his sisters play soccer, hockey etc but he loves the company of girls. But according to you that son because he is effeminite is homosexual - which he will never be as he keeps company with a girl.
Posted by Philo, Monday, 19 September 2011 7:17:53 AM
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Philo
Suze is saying no such thing, just that nature will take it's course as I understood her comments.

An effeminate boy does not necessarily mean he will be homosexual just as a tomboy girl won't necessarily be a lesbian. I've known some manly gay men and some feminine lesbians. Homosexuals are like heterosexuals - there is no homogenous identifying factor other than sexual orientation.

You tend to see the world in black and white. It is never that easy. No-one is arguing that parents teach kids sexuality, it does not happen that way. I have seen kids from the same family, same socialisation, same care and love and one of them was homosexual. It was evident really from the age of about 14 but he did not come out until he was about 18.

It is cruel to discriminate against somebody because they are of a different sexual orientation. That is really the bottom line. We are living in a democratic civilised nation and that differs from a dictatorship in allowing a wide variety of people to be able to express their views and live an authentic life that has meaning to them even if if differs from the norm. The test is 'no harm'. I am yet to be convinced that homosexuality or SSM will cause harm.
Posted by pelican, Monday, 19 September 2011 10:23:48 AM
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I know that I am going to offend everyone ...

I have been a feminist for many years.

I know lesbian couples who are raising/raised children. Without distinction, whilst the couples do not suffer open descrimination, the children have a pretty ghastly time of it. People can be very cruel.

In such a position, I would put 'on hold' any intention to co-habitate, or marry (with which I have no problems at all) until the children ... are either officially adult, or have left home.

This may sound very harsh. However ...

I am heterosexual, married with children. In the case of my marriage having broken down, I would have also applied this stricture to bringing a man into the house; for very different reasons. Whilst most men are decent, there is the risk of sexual abuse (overt or covert), which cannot be forseen. This is the problem. This is not feminist 'ranting', but sober experience. I would never put my children through this risk, albeit slight.

Returning to the same-sex issue. Whilst such couples often have the skills to combat negative reactions, it is not fair to expect children to do their battles for them.
Posted by Danielle, Monday, 19 September 2011 5:22:37 PM
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Danielle

The reason why gays and lesbians are discriminated against is because they are discriminated against.

Which you have just done.

That circular argument is the entire problem - when gays have equal rights and treated equitably they will experience less abuse. For example, discrimination against immigrants goes in phases, years ago Greeks and Italians were given a hard time, now it is anyone of Middle Eastern appearance. While we cannot make laws against stupidity, we can ensure that all people have the same opportunities to love, life, education, employment and so on.

Singling out people for whatever 'difference' they are perceived as having and then compounding this attitude with different laws regarding marriage, adoption or artificial insemination only gives bigots or religious zealots more excuse to abuse others.
Posted by Ammonite, Monday, 19 September 2011 6:08:52 PM
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Ammonite,

I am not discriminating against gays and lesbians. However, there are elements within society that do. In time this will change. But it is not right to place children in the vanguard for discrimination - evidence is out there for all to see. Hopefully, with changing society, such households will be accepted, and these children will not suffer. Until there is a groundswell of change, children should be protected. I would have thought that same sex parents would be sensitive to how their choices impact upon their children. I am not saying that couples should not be committed to each, but surely they can wait to live together until the children are raised. Whether heterosexual or homosexual parents, this should be a given.

It is fine for people to live as they wish ... but thoughtful consideration as to the impact on their children, whilst they are in their care, should be a priority. The dregs of society discriminate against children (and hurtfully), where they wouldn't dare openly discriminate against their parents.

Incidentally, one of the most successful and loving marriages I know is where the husband and wife (heterosexual) live in different houses.

Ammonite ... I knew I would offend ... and undoubtedly everyone ... apologies :-[
Posted by Danielle, Monday, 19 September 2011 7:22:23 PM
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Indeed it is a terrible dilemma that *Danielle* speaks of.

..

Your words in no way offend me *Danielle*, I assure you, but I would suggest to vacate your Heart's natural Loves and desires is to give in to the hatred and bigotry of the likes of philo and runner, who incidentally should be dealt with most harshly in my view. In fact, I would bring back corporal punishment for their kind.

..

You see, if you are in a Loving relationship, that Love will infuse you and flow from you unto your children. If you deny it or lock it out by force of will, then that too will flow out and onto your children, which in my view would a negative thing.

..

As said, " ... The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. ... "

...

Additionally, kids can be awfully cruel with or without reason, and if it is not one thing, it is another.

..

Likewise, to overly sterilise your environment against bacteria, viruses and parasites and your children risk devoloping underdeveloped immune systems.

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The key to life in part I believe is balance, and whilst I sympathise with your position, I would encourage you to both give and receive Love and not to give in to the hatred of others by in effect going into hiding.

..

I note again that this is the sort of effect that filth like philo and runner can have on people, and why I support extreme measures being taken against them.
Posted by DreamOn, Wednesday, 21 September 2011 2:22:19 PM
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