Yabby
You can hardly claim to look at things from another perspective given you rarely steer from the same course, unwilling to consider that your observations of people within the narrow confines of celebritydom do not reflect ordinary people.

If it were so, no men on a average to low income would ever find himself a wife.

Not everyone thinks the same so generalisations about men or women don't add anything to these debates. Particularly when comparing one very different culture to another where economic imperatives will dictate the behaviour of men and women.

It is only personal because when one reads something that is so wrong about your own sex (as a general rule) one tends to adopt a Pavlovian response to such allegations.

*For what its worth...been there done that for 20 years (not dating sites)married to a high income earner*

Well there you go Unique. The father of your children was a high
income earner. The offpsring needed feeding. In evolutionary terms
that is all that matters. What you do as grandma does not.

Pelican, you of all people, who claim to be informed, make judgements
based on what you and your friends think. Why don't you read what
Buss actually wrote? One of the studies he refers to, compares
37 different cultures, including Australia. There is a huge
amount of information there, you only have to bother to read it.

Sorry, I'll go by the data presented by Buss and many others, rather
then you and your friends. I could easily start to quote what my friends
say, but I'm purposefully not doing that. I try to look at the bigger
global picture.

I quote celebrity names because everybody knows them. Society
commonly tries to emulate their celebrities btw.

The Pavlovian response is more of an emotional reaction. Black and
white, for me or against me. So all reason flies out the window.

Actually, Yabby, your words to weareunique - "what you do as grandma does not." - has specific relevance to the situation in China.

As you are probably aware, many of the parents of village children are now absent from their lives for the most part. They have migrated to the cities to earn the bickies, often leaving whole villages containing only children and grandparents...so in that case, what grandma does is of vital importance - even though she is not the one providing the income.

One can't help but think that to skew the natural basis of child rearing to such an extent is something that China will regret in the future. Children need to learn their skills from a spectrum provided by living amongst people of all ages - not just the elderly.

China is turning itself inside out to cope with it's vast population while simultaneously taking on the mantle of out capitalising the capitalists....be interesting to see how it all pans out.

I dunno you lot I reckon I'm much younger and more recently in the dating scene. What I did notice was when in Sydney the chicks are more into what you earn and what job you do. I reckon it's to do with real estate prices.

If you're a woman, no matter what you earn, you KNOW you're more likely to be primary carer when you have kids, and you want a nice house to bring the kids up in. So if you earn more than hubby, that's a massive struggle without your wage.

So, whether consciously or not, a man that will earn enough to allow you to have your dream home and earns enough to survive on one wage while the kids are little is much more appealing than a guy who lives out in the western suburbs earning $35k a year.

I did notice this was not such the case when living in cities overseas where renting was more the norm. Renting houses not women that is.

You one-income-mortgage-boomer lot see the single chicks working and earning big bucks and forget about the cost of houses and that they still need a man if they want to play with their babies down the track and live in the area they have been brought up close to mum and friends. Sure it's slowly slowly changing, but still not many are progressive enough to truly WANT their hubby at home getting to play with 'their' kids while they're wearing power suits.

Poirot is right though there is a lot of grannies looking after kids during the week. Child care is that expensive even when you're only paying half. SO if granny is alive and not working... it's not only china where the grannys bring up the kids. The Grandpa's are probably loving it on the golf course!

'If it were so, no men on a average to low income would ever find himself a wife.'

Haven't you heard of the man shortage pelican? There's a shortage of men. Well, men from a good suburb earning 6 figures.

Houlley
What about the men who are seeking a wife who would like to stay at home and raise the kids. It is up to the people involved to work out their own arrangements. There are different forms of security other than financial that can include like-minds, shared moral values, principles, sexual attraction, loyalty and other factors. Men make these decisions too in their choice of mate. Many also consider the woman's professional status and education and money-making potential.

In just about every survey done about the sort of men women want - it is nearly always the tradie that comes out tops. Not the CEOs or members of the aristocracy.

If a balding 59 year old man wants a young trophy wife and is willing to spoil her to win her hand that is his and her business. We all make our own choices but instead of holding up this sort of relationship as the usual I would prefer to deal in reality.

These days women can find security for themselves especially after marriage breakdown and particularly if they find they are raising the kids on their own if the man has done a runner. You know how fickle some of these men are. :p

But this thread is not about modern Western women but Chinese women who's economic choices are limited.

I know you think women are more emotive in these discussions (as per your comment on the prostitute thread) but I disagree. Most of the illogical conclusions and sweeping generalisations are coming from the male posters. Maybe your own rose coloured gender glasses prevent you from seeing this, we all wear them from time to time, but I can't see how you can miss the overly-emotional responses from the male posters? We must be reading a different site.

It seems 'biology' is trotted out in these arguments when it suits until it works against another argument in a different analogy.

Poirot, indeed the grandmommy effect can matter, especially in
some species of birds. In Unique's case it won't matter, if you
read her posts, she is going camping.

But I'm trying to keep things simple here, we are not even at
Evolution 101 yet, perhaps just the introduction, as some posters
seemingly rely on their friends to understand the world, never mind
the data.

Pelican, love is in fact biological. When that brain chemistry
started affecting your thinking, it was not magic, but the
effects of your brain chemicals, which are grounded in your dna,
interacting with their environment. There really is no reason
not to analyse it, as pair bonding is not limited to humans and no
magic is involved, just complex chemistry.