Jewely:

Thanks for that - and I do remember your earlier post about bouncing back - which prompted me onto thinking about things. But you're right, I now get it that what Belly's after is getting people to act responsibly. From personal family experience I know though that it's easier said than done. Just as an example, I've bailed out a brother over the years because he's never thought ahead or planned for stuff. He needs to think more about his old age, now that he is getting older - I'm scared as to who will help him when we're no longer around.

I did have an older sister that I cut loose a long time ago after years of bailing out. My only regret is not doing it sooner. I had wondered if I had contributed to her not being responsible by being who she so often leant on. Bi-polar I think was the diagnoses in the end… still don’t care; a destructive force in your life is still one no matter the cause.

But we all leave Lexi and it’s our children we want independent and ready to cope when we do - they are the only ones we’ve taken on that responsibility for and that part is over usually long before we are. I so don’t want to look after any grownups but on the horizon it probably is something I will have to start planning for.

I’m trying to think what words of wisdom I may have told my kids about being responsible… probably breaks down into little things like
“you don’t like it then don’t do it to anyone else” and
“it isn’t yours so don’t touch it” and
“why does he need to put the seat down when you don’t leave it up for him” which was usually proceeded by the
“well you should have looked first”

Jewely:

My brother's a lovely bloke - (just irresponsible as far as money goes). Yet, he shares what he has (when he has it) - so he's not mean.
As far as our children are concerned, if you think about it, a good portion of our efforts are as parents devoted to external matters that may not really matter at all. What will be important is the content of our children's hearts and minds, or what is often described as character. When we say, "It's what's inside that counts," we speak a simple but profound truth. To me, I see our job as parents - to raise a decent human being. Decency might sound like a modest ambition, but in today's culture it isn't that easy to achieve. Every parent I know lives with the uneasy sense that their children are growing up too fast. You do the best you can, and hope that some of it at least sinks in.

Gday OUG J L still think it has run its race.
And still blame only me for it.
nothing in the thread is about me.
But every thing is about what life has told me.
Seen the body's on the roadside, helped get them out of the car.
Know all about the it can not happen to me group.
Know too OUG about life's battles and the joy of small victory's.
she,l be right mate, is as Aussie as a Koala bear.
It yells at us so my house burnt down, it will be ok mate.
But I believe many put personal responsibility and planning on permanent hold.
I too have given up on a few, we all do, but did not want to talk about sadness.
Put it this way, years ago I was rebellious, [who me] not me mate!
Got involved in demonstrations against the South African Rugby tour while that country was still in my view racist.
Battle scared after a couple of police officers fell on me I met a mate.
He was a true mate from Ethiopia his family ran a grocer shop.
He was full on Christian, I was learning about his God, he warned me I must not go to rallies leave it to God he warned me.
Took no notice thought then and now we should stand up for what we think.
See taking an action can be both hurtful but the right thing to do putting life in neutral is letting no one drive for you.

Belly:

I was taught at a very early age to be responsible, not only for myself but for my brothers and family as well. We were "latch-key" kids, both parents worked. It was up to me to do all the household chores as well as the meals, and so forth. To me that was simply part of life. I've worked all of my life, alongside my husband, raised a family, studied, and simply got on with it. As I'm sure everyone else has done as well. Everything we have, we've worked for, that's the way I was brought up. I'm used to planning ahead - because I've learned from experience that without planning things tend to fall apart. Still you can't plan for everything. Life as I've said earlier sometimes throws unexpected things at you but you cope and make do. Somehow, you find the strength as you need it - and you turn out to surprise yourself as being stronger than you thought you were. Belly, you're someone I admire very much. You're an honourable man, one who's got a good heart.

cont'd ...

As for standing up for what you think? Belly, it depends on the circumstances. Of course if your keeping quiet is going to hurt someone then of course you should speak up, but on the other hand if your speaking your mind is also going to hurt someone, then perhaps its better to keep quiet in certain cases. I would take it a case at a time and weigh up what's best to do - given the circumstances. Sometimes it's best to simply shut up and stay out of things.