Wonderful advice Hasbeen.

Who said old timers weren't worth listening to? That little spiel makes up for all the 'back in my day' 'good 'ol days' rants I always slam old people for.

When it comes to parenting, it has now become a field for 'experts' with one size fits all advice. Best Practise for parenting. The new field of endeavour, raising little projects. The weird thing is normally the people who are fretting about to smack or not aren't the people who should be worrying about how they're parenting. Then again the obsession with their kids I feel is a bit over the top so I can imagine pressure on the kids to perform being massive with all that expectation and effort. Gymberoooooo! So funny. I know someone *paying* for swimming lessons for a 4 month old. Nuts! But to each their own.

When it comes to my kids, My partner and I are the experts. It's really not that hard so far. Sure I haven't got teenagers yet, but before I had kids everyone kept telling me how terrible it would all be. Now it might be that my kids are just little angels so I cant relate, but I really had to wonder whether all the people with all these dire warnings and tales of woe really liked kids at all. They used to tell me I was naive when I was confident my kids would be great and I would enjoy it so much and it would be a piece of cake and I ignored all their negativity.

People judge everything every other parent does all the time like it's some kind of competition. I reckon parenting is 70% luck.

The best advice I got was from an Aunty after the birth of my first. She mailed me with a very short note which basically said 'Do what comes naturally'. Sounds like common sense, you end up raising your kids in tune with your own values and naturally won't want to hurt them. Simple observation of cause and effect should be all the info you need.

Hasbeen:

I quoted the book by Dr Ginott because I thought it might be of interest and add something extra to this discussion. Of course he was expressing his opinion as a child psychologist and former teacher, and
his book offers tools and skills for dealing with daily situations and psychological problems faced predominantly by teachers.

As Houellebcq so beautifully pointed out to us, as parents we should do what we feel is best for our child. I'm pleased that your children turned out so well.I've been equally blessed with mine. Unlike ships, human relations founder on pebbles, not reefs. And as parents we can be most destructive or most instructive in dealing with everyday disiplinary problems. Our instant response makes the difference between condemnation and consolation. Good discipline is a series of little victories in which,a parent through small decencies reaches a child's heart.

UOG>> the best..is to be the best egsample
is..to have..your child/.. see..
that..we wish...'them..to be <<

UOG even in your pigeon prose, that was well said, commendable in fact, but I whacked mine on occasions, the practice died when I believed I could communicate with them better as they had matured, that was about 19, just kidding, it ended when they started school and it was a conscious decision based on if they haven't caught on by now, whacking them does not help.

The thread interests me.
I love kids, was one once.
I helped bring up 5 of my siblings after dad died then 5 sometimes more of my siblings kids.
I leaned as I went along, it was a once in a life time thing to smack other than one sharp hit.
I like and respect modern parenting, from a kids should be seen but not heard generation,its better now.
But not for all, how do you say this without looking bad? young parents teach kids to swear, drink, show of by insulting visitors.
No not all of them some, then never truly get those kids back under control.
I used the stick it on the fridge and fuss over it stuff love caring and rewards, but did no better or worse than any one.
Now? I try to remind a battered kid, and I see some, not every one is like that and that they are important.
So tell me no fixed rules, they do not exist but think from the kids view point and know it can make you a better parent.

Young children don't actually understand morals at early mental developmental stages, their only motivations are to either please their parents (if they could personally care less at the time- depending on the child) or to avoid getting into trouble (assuming they could care about the punishment).

Most people resort to smacking to fill in that gap;
Of course, any suggestions as to how else to discipline a child who at that point, does not understand right or wrong beyond it resulting in direct punishment to them, then this should be brought forward.

WOW! Just a wonderful single minded thought from what?

Look People, the laws of nature are quite clear. What you have been brain-washed with is, is the christian way..... just look at how the USA have let their own children behave! And you wonder why the supper- nanny is needed! OH my god!

EG! When you buy your first puppy-dog and it poo's on your carpet? What do you do?

1. You rub its noise in it...............or!

2. Just let it sh!t where ever it want to?

I believe some people should seek some help.

Or! not breed.

In my house! Iam boss! I say...........you don't like it, You support your self.

Life is hard, and don't you not tell them that.

BLUE