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The Forum > General Discussion > Baby Dolls

Baby Dolls

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I think it's interesting how people seem to think it's ok to send their kid to the Institute of Sport, or to selective schools, but somehow it's frowned upon to send your kid to a beauty pageant.

All three go under the banner of natural gifts, but it seems if your natural gift is beauty you're not supposed to make the most of it.

pelican,

'I remember once watching an interview with a parent of a child beauty queen and the mother talking about what a self confidence building exercise it was for her child, and when the child was interviewed she came across as nothing but anxiety driven and parrotting the self-fulfilling nonsense of her parents. It was a sad sight.'

I can imagine that. Perhaps it was really a self confidence exercise for the mother.

I often have people asking if my stunningly beautiful and ridiculously cute daughter could make me some money. I cant see how I would fit those kind of activities into my life.

I really don't want to support the modelling and TV career of a 3 year old, and I try as much as possible to stop people gushing over her cuteness anyway. I don't want her to turn into a brat or get a big head or think her role in life is that of an ornament.

Even though these days parenting seems to be about helping your kids reach their fullest potential, if she were to show she was super intelligent or an amazing athlete, I would probably hold her back on that as well. I don't mind being a bad parent, neglecting the project that is my little genius for my own selfish goal of a happy well adjusted kid and a balanced life for her and the rest of the family.
Posted by Houellebecq, Monday, 27 September 2010 9:43:27 AM
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Houlley
We are not talking about using one's natural gifts it is about timing and extreme behaviours. You are comparing apples and oranges.

Children IMO should be left to enjoy their childhood without bestowing on them the pressures of adults in competition - it is not only beauty pageants but other competitive pursuits as you point out.

We are all responsble for our children until they are old enough to start making decisions for themselves and not all of us will agree on what is best.

The behaviours of some of these pageant mums verge on child abuse IMO and where these sad little girls are made to feel like failures should they only make runner-up. The rest of their year is often spent getting ready for the next big talent/beauty quest.

Let children be children for as long as possible until they can start making decisions for themseleves.
Posted by pelican, Monday, 27 September 2010 11:01:16 AM
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'Family psychologist Andrew Fuller said pageants could lead to competition, anxiety and embarrassment.'

Heaven forbid we have competition. I'm sick of the idea of teaching kids everybody gets a prize. In real life, there is winning and losing. In real life, some people are smarter and more beautiful than others. What we should be teaching kids is it's ok not to win, and to deal with being 'average' (Which these days is a derogatory term). I heard a shocking statistic the other day; 50% of children are below average!

'"The risk is that they suddenly fear that their body shape is more important than their intellect."'

Hahahaa. There you have it. It's ok to be shallow when it comes to intelligence, but not when it comes to looks.

IS intellect more important than body shape? If so, isn't it sad because people can do more to improve their body shape than they can to improve their intellect.
Posted by Houellebecq, Monday, 27 September 2010 11:52:56 AM
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Houlley
Re shallowness - you are arguing at cross purposes. You are a parent - you decide if you think beauty pageants are what you want your child to spend her time on. You clearly haven't taken this path. There is nothing wrong with a child being used in an Ad or as a model when they are modelling items fit for a child. It is the pageant circuit that is unhealthy and the continued pressure from ambitious parents for their kid to win that is controversial.

The same goes for the pressure on some kids to be academically gifted even if they are not born with a high intellect (or even if they are). The over-extended kid who goes to kiddygym, braingym, sportgym, readinggym, chessgym, musicgym just to prepare them for the best schools (more an American phenomenon than Australian).

I also share a dislike of the everyone needs to win a prize phenomena that has swept our schools, but that is not what we are talking about. Some introduction into competition activities is not necessarily a bad thing.

You ask is intellect more important than body shape? Neither are 'more' important - you are asking the wrong question. The gifts you are bestowed with are what they are.

Forcing young children into this level of competition is unhealthy where little girls are dressed up to compete and dress as sexually appealing women.

You are can't compare it to more low key competition like an egg and spoon race.
Posted by pelican, Monday, 27 September 2010 12:53:15 PM
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'You ask is intellect more important than body shape? Neither are 'more' important - you are asking the wrong question. '

It was a rhetorical question. A response to the statement by a 'psychologist'.

I don't understand if you accept or refute my assertion that society deems it ok to celebrate intellect and to applaud those who aspire to greater intelligence, but denigrates those who use their natural beauty and aspire to greater beauty.

Its thought the beautiful are cashing in on an advantage and aren't having to work for it, but the same is never said about the intelligent who are also cashing in on a natural gift. In fact when the beautiful do cash in, they are assumed stupid and taunted for being stupid. How's that for irony.
Posted by Houellebecq, Monday, 27 September 2010 1:42:15 PM
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'There is nothing wrong with a child being used in an Ad or as a model when they are modelling items fit for a child.'

Then there is nothing wrong with kids working in a construction site as long as all the safety requirements are there.

'Forcing young children into this level of competition is unhealthy where little girls are dressed up to compete and dress as sexually appealing women.'

Are they though? In the child's mind, are they looking to be sexy? I think they're looking to be beautiful, and wear beautiful clothes. Beautiful isn't necessarily sexy. I think adults may feel uncomfortable because they have dirty minds. Do they fear their own attraction to the beauty as being a sexual attraction? I think that's all very Catholic.

When a little boy dresses in a batman costume with fake muscles, is the same dynamic at play? Why doesn't anybody care about that?
Posted by Houellebecq, Monday, 27 September 2010 1:50:00 PM
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