If we get a run I would like to talk about these issues.
Is it wrong not using our own names online.
Or is it just wise.
Would we in a crowded bus loudly give our address to a Friend?
As we learn the dangers of spam, we protect ourselves as much as we can but we mostly know its the less careful that keep spam alive.
Is there potential for harm in web sites that allowed us to reveal too much about ourselves.
And can any of us judge by the printed word the type of person we are talking to online.
How many of us wander down the street saying hollow to every one we pass, yet we some times say too much online to strangers or do we?

another intresting topic..from the#..belly laugh..at ourselves...under our posts live flesh/blood/living huh-mans...we each are presumed to be human...we humans recognise words but poorly

we are emoting beings...we are able to feel emotions from words...me saying i will kill you...would i hope be laughed off by any that ever read my words...thus could make claim to know me...well enough that to me its an empty threat...but not so our jury of peers..[out there somewhere]...

i have had guys say they love me[others saay they hate me]..but i know its not..'me'..,.they hate..but that..the words i formed in this living moment..did say...to them..at the time of reading..[often read on the run...and not in ful context]

we all know how this thread came to be...and dont we all just wish we had the guts...to tell the piper how attractive her..on screen persona is...it is little wonder this angel of the heart..gets the unloved..to try to get yet more of her rare warmth[love]..but 'as'..you know we love you too

im needing a hug...but realise..that in written/words its only too easy to say...[and say wrongly]..in reality i know im so flawed..as a functioning human...its often more than words...said wrongway..or out of time...or place..that drive even the word of the hug away

anyhow its not important the words that i wrote...belly has sent out the topic..and i replied without any quote...[of note]..i appriciate that men are as we are...and mothers love kids...more cute than us falable..'grown-ups'...who have lost our ability at be cute...yet still knowing not a real lot..but that of being alone

ps...no emails corrospondences..entered into

say it on open forum...not in private..
never say more in private..than you would/could publicly

love you both
...but hug...hugs all round
its the untimate security..or is it insecurity...

when it goes bad its best to not say nothing...
so with a smile and a wink...say its going to be allright

It’s a funny issue Belly, given my recent interaction.

And a few months ago after an argument on another site a user rang DoCS on me and made up some pretty wild stuff. Now I was found innocent of any wrong doing but if DoCS had believed it they could have taken all the kids.

All they needed was my volunteer work, general area I am in, and my first name which everyone has. But both things could have also happened with neighbours or acquaintances back at this end of the wire.

Very few people know my last name or an address and even if I wanted to hand those out I am not allowed to given who I volunteer for. If I have their rules right I can identify myself as a foster parent but I cannot give any information that could lead to a foster child being identified or where they are being identified.

I read messages pretty much according to the mood I am in at the time although after awhile you get a feel for a regular posters usual attitude and style. Smiley faces might help.[grin]

OUG, I didn’t see your post before I posted. I blushed and had my hands over my face, I haven’t blushed in years. Husband came and read it and said “see other people understand”. Poor hubby, he’s had a lot of me trying to work out if I did wrong lately.

A long time ago when I had my little bulletin board system I had little tag lines under my messages, I only remember a couple now “Hug a Hon Today”, “Keep the Happy Thoughts Alive”. We used to often meet in person back then and they all knew they would get a hug when they met me.

But you are wrong, I see many people here as cute and I am extremely fond of you, you and Peter were the first users to take some time and answer some of my questions and teach me some important things. The people here really do stop to give support or say a kind word, even halt in the middle of a debate to say “go click on this and it will help”.

Consider yourself hugged OUG, appreciated and often in my thoughts.

Of course you all know I’m not always nice aye.

Dear Belly,

Thanks for this thread - it's an important issue
after what's happened recently. We can all learn
from it - and I suppose there was a way of
predicting it - the signs were there - if we would
have paid attention to the constant rantings. That
undoubtedly won't change.

Most of us are trusting human beings - and we prefer
to think - that most people are decent. We all flirt,
we all tease, but we don't take any of it seriously -
because - it's usually simply done in fun. This
latest episode however, will probably make me more
cautious in future.

I prefer not to give out my email.
Giving a hug on the web - is one thing, but your email?
No.

The underpinning theory behind crisis phone services is that a person will tell a stranger more than someone they know. The idea is that it is anonymous or less likely to have repercussions.
e.g. you tell a 'friend' one day you'll throttle you wife if she nags much more. In that situation you are running the risk of your friend's biases and shifting loyalties etc both have possible repercussions.
Conversely a stranger doesn't have the same knowledge based biases or allegiances.

Regarding the web what we say is determined by the readers perceptions.
On one of the three primary senses.
As was brought home to me in recent posts and experimentation with the man across the road.
I repeated the joke told here about the three women and the ducks to the point where I got the joke. He on the other hand not knowing where my mind was going sat there blank until I gave all the punch line. my point is that on the web a lot is written which is mis or under understood. We all assume that something is clear and unoffensive to us because we know what WE meant. "what we have (due to the nature of the media) is a failure to communicate" (properly).

Part of that failure to communicate is ours in that we adopt a lack of attention to what we say (a'la telephone crisis counseling).
Because we're removed from the person we mistakenly assume an unrealistic level of safety. Consequentially we often slip up and unnecessarily expose our selves to God knows what and who.

I have suggested many times in many discussions that OLO is a public discussion site not group therapy no is it particularly safe.

Publicly I am rather coy on giving too much sensitive data on me.
Yet I'll chat " some say endlessly " unidentifiable personality issues.

Even my website has levels of protection as some have found.

In short Belly, practically speaking pseudonyms in this environment is simply common sense. Those that use Facebook openly etc are vulnerable.