its nice to be nice but niceness[damm i thought i was on the faking it thread]..but nice is a nature..[natural]..ability/gift or curse..its nice..occasionally..to switch,..the niceness...off

quote..from/under/link..<<..While being nice..sounds..like a good idea,..there’s a problem...It doesn’t work...

People-pleasers often..take care of others..at the expense of themselves...Activities..that promote health,..are sacrificed..when someone else..is in need.

Trying to avoid..or ignore conflict/..and anger..is like trying to hold a beach-ball..under water...Unexpressed feelings..can pop up as physical ailments,..such as heartburn..or depression..or back pain.

When your value..as a person..is defined by what other people..think about you,..and..feelings of..you don’t measure up,..food or alcohol[read addictions..to others or things]..medicate the emptiness.

If you’re a people-pleaser who gets sick,..the same behaviors..that got you to the doctor..in the first place may stand in the way of getting good health care.

You might not want to.."trouble your doctor"..with your problems...If you have side effects from a medication,..you might simply stop taking the pills..rather than tell your doctor that you want to try a different medication.

A cross look..from the front office staff..when you ask for a copy of your medical record..may be all you need to decide that you’re not doing that again.

The bottom line..is that being nice can be hazardous,,to your health.

It erodes your health..and impairs your ability..to get better if you’re sick.

http://www.anxiety-and-depression-solutions.com/articles/health_and_wellness/021805_beingnice.php

but researching further i found its oppisite...no thats the wrong word..i found its mirror...
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/time-to-get-tough-how-being-nasty-can-improve-your-life-792446.html

The Nice Factor:..The Art of Saying No.

Gryzb..believes our tendency..to over-apologise..reveals..a worrying undercurrent..."If an apology isn't genuine,"..she says, ..psychologically you are saying you're ashamed of yourself...It's almost..as if you are apologising..for...you.who..your being."

..they don't want to let others,,down..its astounding. ..One scarily prevalent issue .."They become caught up in the machinery..and don't know how to get out of it...we are brought up in a culture of pleasantries.

The ethos..of the saying that it's nice..to be important,..but more important..to be nice,..is ingrained..in all of us..."There's a lot of subtle cultural messages,"..says Gryzb.

"We get it right..from birth..when we are told..good children don't cry...Parents..#["%$^()..brainwash..us..

about what makes a good-childhusband father/grandfather/mother #/politition/lawter/scientust/driver/care giver...or unionist/loyalist/follower..or leader//egsample..threatr/victim/child/adult/male/femail..and what doesn't...

What's wrong/..with crying/smiling/flirting/survivibg/loving/blushing/sharing/caring?..What's wrong/..with saying you need...something/anything/answer/or hugs?"

boy oh boy [piper]...i been busy with the last thread
http://forum.worldfreemansociety.org/viewtopic.php?f=125&t=2704&p=16406#p16406

just visited
the other topic
http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3013&page=0

poor guy

you dont realise how exciting your problems are<<...that drawing is just bloody awful..throw it in the bin immediately”..>>>is something i couldnt imagine you saying [but anthoninie could

<<<or ""I have one (no not a goldfish) who I wish would stop hugging me, another is dribbling and when grown up will be super hero called The Walking Puddle.">>>..see how amasing you are..[oh godess of the aquamarine..a hugging goldfish...thats so sureal...but i dont think its true...it sounds like faked imagry...poor anthony...thinks wakjing puddle ...not to be a child with a cxonstantly wet nappy

you got some amasing life ..between the huggy gold fish..and the piddling puddles

anthony..<<Do not you understand that with your posts you encouraged me to continue with harder one?>>>...see anthony finds it hard to use personal contexual..words...correctly...

he has a business/humanitarian patriarcal..mind..logic..right/wrong...on /off..not humanities...

thus what he writes as hard..because for him it is...mine just flows out like water at the base of a huge hill...

<<..I wrote according to my goals and your reactions.>>>he means ideals and soliciting for your emoting...your re-actions

<<The Pied Piper You are a good friend
for me and you know that , THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.>>

we love you too
give hubby some cheeky flirty intent/longing look...hes all yours..whats the guppy puddle up to...see im inept as well
to forgive is devine...at its root lies love

I am not a social butter fly, maybe a moth?
But in the mid 1970,s CB radio took hold, it went like fire until people started to meet one another.
You never can tell by voice alone what a person is.
And believe me some got hurt very badly.
The hobby died but I moved on to Ham radio, what and who you are in real life still matters but less judgmental.
I saw problem's for our mate TPP even said so.
But we learn by our mistakes, can any one say did not at some time question some of us?
Now I have been taunted to say who I am, NEVER fall for it, it is likely in time many of us will meet, but by agreement not falling for baits.
If we never meet we can still talk, OUG it is not just about that event, I truly question the many who say we are weak for not unmasking .
In time, not long away, we will know I am probably right, we do not need to, it is unwise and foolish to tempt fate.
Knowing how to protect your self and family is not cowardice.
Like spam , that dreadful crime commited against the web by senders and those who open it, we are learning the rules of a relatively new communications system.
The best protection is our own wisdom.

Belly,

No.
Wise. For many reasons.
No.
Yes and no. 'Spam' is heaps of different things. But one thing they ALL are is ever evolving and being creating continuously.
Yes.
Not really. But a few here come across as random nutters so I'm not at all interested matching up online them versus real them.
Depending on the situation, but I usually say G'day to anyone that makes eye contact. But yes, sometimes we offer too much online.

Horses for courses, I guess.

I post here under the name by which I'm known in my community, and under which I trade commercially. It's no secret that I'm a member of the Qld Greens, and that I live in rural Southern Qld. Anybody who wants to locate me and is a little bit savvy can do so if they wish. Indeed, I'm very well known in our community.

Perhaps I'm lucky to be in a situation where I don't care who knows what I think about the stuff we discuss here - my partner and I are own bosses, and we don't owe anybody anything. I don't express any ideas here that I wouldn't in my local pub, although of course there people are somewhat more polite and there are various issues that just aren't discussed in casual conversations.

There are only a few users here whom I wouldn't give my personal email address if they asked. However, in several years of participating at OLO nobody ever has.

Certainly, I think that everybody should be careful about what they reveal about themselves online, but - as someone implied above - not much more so than would do on a crowded bus, or indeed a pub.

I have fences I must remain inside.
I can not be a spokesman for my union.
I must not say any thing that a boss or another union can use against me.
Yet I am Belly, every one knows me by the name, it is on my shirts, my house, Belly's hideaway, some say its my cave.
I could handle unwanted contacts, no fears there.
My defenses are in place, but some can not.
And on the web, not just here real people get real problems by being too open.
Side issue but maybe it counts, a workplace issue saw me inform a boss he was a maggot, never understand why I felt the need to praise him, it was praise .
Friday saw my phone nearly useless, he gave the number to some real filth who rang for hours.
So yes be careful but understand some do not have our radar our ability to see a nut long before others.
And that the web is like a light to moths to them.
CJM Yes from information you give here I knew most of that about you And only a few would not get my e mail if asked but not in print not for the few we all should avoid.