Examinator"Many “stone- age” tribes of PNG don't accept such DV."

They do accept "bride wars" though, in which a tribe attacks another tribe for the purpose of acquiring women to be given to the young men as brides. Those that have gone beyond that arrange women paid for with a "bride price" of pigs, salt, yams, etc (money as well today), given to the woman's erstwhile family. Is that part of your preferred agenda as well?

Furthermore, while hitting the missus is not acceptable, being a nag to your husband or lazy, or failing to fit in with the other women of the tribe is equally unacceptable and can lead to a woman being cast out. Rarely will she be accepted back to her family in this situation, since she's shown herself to be "bad". When you're selecting breeding stock, you tend to cull the duds. Is that where you think we went wrong?

Seeing we're bringing "stone-age" tribes into it and all...

Examinator:"The response will undoubtedly be to attack on spurious grounds of style rather than substance focusing on vitriol against the messenger"

LOL, old "shoot the messenger" himself seems to have had an epiphany. I expect it to last as long as it took him to write...

Fractelle:"What this means for the man who prefers the one-night stand, make sure you either have a vasectomy or at the very least WEAR AN EFFIN' CONDOM."

And the woman's responsibility is?

Yabby:”In your brain there is effectively a competition going on, from many different sections. That means that you can think one thing but feel something else. Emotions can be strongly affected by hormonal input.”

Okay hormones effect emotions which in some can completely mess with a decision making process? Plus obviously a person’s past can mess with decisions as well.

But still through all that a person can make a logical decision aye and not based on past experiences or an emotion they are experiencing at the time.

And I guess you are saying women are inclined to more often make more emotional based decisions. The books you have and the stuff you have read… is it hormones that cause things like intuitive type thoughts “gut instinct” about things?

Fractelle, that choice your cousin made was one of the hard ones (the right one I think). I had an acquaintance who had an unexpected down syndrome baby, she adopted it out, her husband had a breakdown as he wanted to keep it, few years later they adopted one of my “normal” spares. I didn’t approve of those decisions.

There are kids we have that either me or hubby really want to adopt and keep forever – it has just never come about that we both felt the same way about the same kid. Now there, I guess, is hormones and decision making clashing horribly.

And of course you could foster kids, the kids themselves are great. You probably would lose patience quite swiftly with the departments you have to follow orders from.

Now if at any point you really were uncertain as to what type of mother you would be you would not have any regrets about not having your own child. You would have been a great mum. But if I didn’t foster I’d be over parenting by now with my own children and the ages they are. And if I could go back in time, knowing what I know now, and not having any guilt about the decision – I never would have had my own children.

HelloAntiWhereHaveYouBeen?IRanOutOfWords.[smile]

Yabby: “Now why should I be a cheapskate and want a freebe? Why should I go
and tell a heap of lies to get into somebody's knickers? Much easier
to just give them some bucks, so that they can have the pleasure of
going shopping, if they give me the pleasure I'm after. All very
simple really and totally rational.”

Just make sure you wear a condom Yabby, take it with you when you leave, and don’t forget to worry that it might fail. As a man of such means, don't be surprised that you may appeal as a prospective father even at those high class WA establishments.

“A MAN who paid a woman for sex is resisting child support requests after the prostitute had his baby.

The married Melbourne man argues the child is potentially a breach of the Trade Practices Act.

He told a federal magistrate he shouldn't have to pay for the inadvertent offspring given the circumstances of the conception. “

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,25963638-661,00.html

*Okay hormones effect emotions which in some can completely mess with a decision making process? Plus obviously a person’s past can mess with decisions as well.*

Piper, yup absolutaly, the mind works by association. If you've had
a bad experience years ago with something, that association will have
an input, even if it is at the subconcious level. Those experiences
after all, are a large part of making you whom you are. Or so called
nature and nurture, both having an input.

*But still through all that a person can make a logical decision aye and not based on past experiences or an emotion they are experiencing at the time.*

Piper, every thought involves emotional input. The thing is, our
brains can play amazing tricks on us, we can prove that. So it's
common for people to feel one thing, then find a good excuse to
justify the feeling in terms of what is rational.

The gambler will always remember his big wins, but conveniently forget
the many losses. The share market buyer will rush in and mortgage
his house, when markets are booming, then be forced to sell in fear,
when things collapse.

So called emotional intelligence is all about learning to think about
what we feel and why. For many its extremely difficult to be honest
with themselves about themselves. Its much easier to blame the
whole world for our problems, then admit that we made a mistake in
judgement.

Of course we much prefer people who tell us what we want to hear and
make us feel good about ourselves, especially if we lack self
confidence. But its also rational to know that other people know
that and can use it to their advantage, to take advantage of us.
It's common in everyday life. Deception is common in nature.

*FYI Yabby is in his 50's, he certainly has a mind-set that is from the 50's*

Now to Fraccy and her problems. Indeed I am in my 50s Fraccy,
you are not far behind me, every day another wrinkle :)

Rather then a mindset of the 50s, one day it might hit you that
I am actually ahead of my time in ways of thinking. It's been like
that in virtually every aspect of my life, years later they catch
on and scratch their heads.

If you bother to read this weekend's Australian Financial Review, there
is a two page spread about relationships and how they are
changing and have changed over the last 15 years.

Fact is that marriage is turning into little more then a baby
raising exercise. Once people hit 50, the majority in fact prefer
to do their own thing domestically. 45% of divorces that happen
today, are between couples who have been married more then 20
years.

A "partner" might be somebody you see once or twice a week for a
social occasion, or a bit of intimacy, or perhaps a bit of travel.
In other words, little more then a convenience.

Above all, people with assets want to protect them, too many have
been burned by our legal system. 1-2 million for a bit of cohabitation,
is not a worthwhile price to pay. Much better
to just pay people for services rendered, its a win-win all round
and far more predictable then our family law courts.

*and you're fooling yourselves if you think they do it because of a high libido or they are somehow different from other woman*

Nobody has claimed that. IMHO they are women who understand their
own value and that giving it away at the pub for a few cheap
compliments and a bit of feel good, which is so common, is not the
smartest thing to do either. So they cash in. Fair enough, for
all women, their prime years are limited

Hey Yabby so these MAA (missing after action) fathers, do you think in general it is easier to walk away because they didn’t first work out what the consequences would be or if they don’t have kids just don’t really have a concept of having their own child? If they stay away they can remain emotionless about them? That might be good grounds for some to be declared a non-parent, if there was some way to test it.

But do all thoughts really have an emotion attached? Or do all thoughts trigger hormones? This might be one of those things I’m really not good at understanding.

When you say emotion does that always means a particular hormone is at play… I might even be asking the wrong questions in the wrong way but I am wanting to know if every time we have an emotion is it because of a particular hormone? And people at all times are having an emotion? We’re never emotionless?

So the emotional IQ thing is identifying what emotion we are having – like knowing if you reacted at one point from anger or fear?

I think I understand the honest with yourself stuff, it’s like front braining something, acknowledging you did something wrong instead of choosing not to think about it because it might make you feel bad.

Yabby – how many emotions are there? Is there an official list somewhere?