Dear Doctor
What this underlines is that those who are clever enough to avoid paying taxes or under declare their real taxable income can get away with paying child support.

2 points here.
1. This thread is not about cheating on child support, it is about anonymous fathers.
2. I recall one change in the recent overhaul of the laws was that the courts/enforcers have the power to claim upon what a ‘non-custodial’ parent was capable of earning, rather than what they earned. Although I don’t agree fully, something had to be done to catch these scumbags.

I have to say though that I to have pushed for a change, much like what you have said when it comes to the value placed on raising a child. The current system puts children in to 'classes' and that's not fair. Every child is equal in my view.

Protagoras
Thank god for the legalise brothels hey. At least there a guy can have a one nighter, pay up front and never be bothered again. And remember IT TAKES TWO!

See girls, it is possible that because you have pushed hard enough things have changed, only, your half will be out searching for a thrill seeker but they will be harder to find as they would rather pay the bucks 'up front', get their rocks off and continue on their merry way. Perhaps there is a link between legalised brothels and ‘man trapperss’ hey!

ASymeonakis

Thanks for those survey bits and pieces. I've read a lot of similar stuff too - that tend to show that men have a tougher worldview than women on many issues such as race etc. I suppose that, as a feminist, I lean more to putting this difference down to social conditioning rather than biology. The messages to little boys to toughen up start very early. I also believe that women would be less socially tolerant generally if they were subjected to similar conditioning.

Because we didn't want this for our sons, my husband and I sent our kids to an alternative school, where this kind of conditioning was almost entirely missing. Unfortunately, we didn't have the same choice for their high school, but by then they were old enough to not be unduly influenced by any macho pressures they encountered there.

I think it comes down to the reality that children grow and develop as part of women's bodies, whereas men's experience of becoming a parent relies (1) on a cognitive belief that they are the father of the child AND (2) that they have 'consented' to undertake an actively responsible role as the father. Men react variously to the information that there is a pregnancy depending on their relationship to the two highlighted points. For women who decide to proceed with a pregnancy there is no further choice - their bodies WILL subdivide into a new human and they WILL have a socially and biologically shaped set of obligations to that human, regardless of their own views and desires. If mothers' own views and desires fail to come together with the survival and nurturance of their newborn, the baby is at high risk and may come to need alternative care. The infant's survival and wellbeing is certainly enhanced by supportive nurturant care from a loving father and other family members, but it does not necessarily depend on the care of others in the same way. If no father is present there is one less source of support, one less pair of arms and hands, one less driver, one less earner. If an abusive, angry dangerous father is present, both mother and newborn are at greatly increased risk of injury, and the baby will bear the added risk of developmental injury - that is where their development is adversely impacted by their exposures to abuse, as well as the injuries caused by abuse. That's why I don't want 'missing fathers' made to engage with their children - they are unlikely to do anything positive for the child if (a) they are always focused on themselves and (b) they resent the child's existence.

"Protagoras
Thank god for the legalise brothels hey. At least there a guy can have a one nighter, pay up front and never be bothered again. And remember IT TAKES TWO!"

Rehctub

Any self-respecting hooker I know will not take your money unless you wear a CONDOM. After all, they are conducting a business and don't intend receiving any more than they bargained for (including STDs) therefore, if you prefer to pay for it when you can get it for nothing (except the cost of a franga), you must have more money than sense.

Back in the "dinosaur" era, when my son was fifteen or sixteen and I was suspicious, I read him the riot act:

"Son," I said. "If you get a girl pregnant, you will pay for that child for the rest of your life or you won't have a mother."

A couple of weeks later when I was performing an underhand "bedroom blitz" (I don't believe in this "privacy" rubbish for pubescent teenagers), I discovered a packet of condoms.

And we all lived happily ever after!

Some fascinating posts.

Some comments:

A good brothel insists on clients wearing condoms and that clients be checked for obvious STD's like herpes, prior to confirmation of a booking. They also provide an essential service for the lonely, the marginalised and the disabled. I think the women who work in them deserve every cent they earn. Some men I would not even want to be in the same room with let alone....

ASymeonakis

I agree with SJF that men are conditioned to be more aggressive than women. Which causes problems for both sexes if they "step out of line": men by being emotive or women by being aggressive. Both sexes have their strengths and weaknesses.

Protagoras

Excellent advice to your son - you must've been happy that he took it.

As for those men who do evade responsibility for their children, they can because it is generally easier, as women still do the bulk of child-care. As men put more emotional investment into their children, then leaving them would be more difficult wouldn't it? Women have a head-start - placing a baby to one's breast to feed it, nothing beats that. Nothing.

OK, feeling a bit emo, must go.

*I suppose that, as a feminist, I lean more to putting this difference down to social conditioning rather than biology*

You might well do that SJF and you might be wrong. For we know
quite well that hormones affect behaviour. Inject a male with
female hormones, his behaviour changes. Inject a female with
male hormones, the same thing occurs.

Now the human chemical factory that is the endocrine system,
clearly influences behaviour and that is all about biology.

Ignore it if you wish.