Celivia's comments deserve repeating:

"But for women such specific campaign DOES make sense, since females are by far more the victims in their own homes than males are, the positive effect a DV violence campaign will have on their safety makes such specific campaign worthwhile.

So, a campaign about domestic violence specifically, rather than campaigning against all violence is justified when you take into account that such a large proportion of not only women, but children as well, are victimised by it."

Where do you go if home becomes a place of terror? I have lived this nightmare, I will not be silenced simply because a few men don't like women speaking up about their experiences and their opinions.

Consider this:

"The number of unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and terminations is higher among women experiencing domestic violence. Pregnancy itself is a time of heightened risk and the abdomen is targeted more frequently and more severely in pregnant women. The Women's Safety Australia survey found that, of all the women who reported violence occurring at some time in their lives, 42% were pregnant at the time. Twenty per cent reported that violence occurred for the first time during the pregnancy, although the strongest predictor of violence occurring during pregnancy is a prior history of abuse. Furthermore, women abused during pregnancy are at even greater risk of violence in the postpartum period."

http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/173_08_161000/astbury/astbury.html

Just because it is violence in the home and mostly effects women does not make it of any less import than street muggings or pub brawls, in fact it is worse. How appalling that children and pregnant women are abused, why don't more men speak out about this? I know that the few who do, like Michael Flood are derided. Why should I as a poster to these forums be subjected to such denigration for simply talking about my experiences? Seems to me, that certain men are only interested in silencing women. Why?

Cevilia,

I said all DOMESTIC violence should be included, not all violence.
You have misquoted and misrepresented my position.

I believe it is dangerous to deny women's responsibility in the escalation of violence in domestic disputes, regardless of who is more likely seriously injured.

Our society can find humour in women screaming abuse, throwing plates, kicking men in the groin or slapping men in the face, as if that's a 'spirited' woman. But a man pushing or yelling at a woman is put in the same bucket now as putting her in hospital.

So women are brought up thinking that they are allowed to lose control of themselves and throw their full, most violent verbal and physical attack into a domestic dispute, but a man must keep a cool head, control his temper in an emotionally charged environment and is made soley responsible for the safety of all involved. Remember the message 'under no circumstances' can a man use violence, not even to protect himself.

It's a pretty unrealistic expectation to put on men. Either that, or it is a demonisation of men to portray them as the sole aggressors in all domestic disputes.

As veronika said,
'Let's have more responsibility and action and less scare-mongering. In terms of DV, surely our goal is to make the public conversation HONEST.

As Antiseptic said "Painting it all equally black without shading might be great for those wanting to push a barrow, but it doesn't help in understanding or in arriving at a fair and just balance in dealing with it.'"

As Robert says...

'I still don't get why we have campaigns against all types and levels of DV including controlling behaviours focussed on one gender yet when it comes to the crunch it is all about the higher levels of violence.

The little stuff grows into the big stuff. Women who hit male partners may be more likely to be seriously injured than those who don't '

Fractelle,
Good on you for speaking out about the DV you had to endure, I can only imagine how hard that must be.
And the cases of the abuse of pregnant women are appalling acts by cowards.

US,
”I said all DOMESTIC violence should be included, not all violence.”
Sorry US, I got yours and Antiseptic mixed up and didn’t realise that you disagreed with Antiseptic.

As I said, I don’t have problems with including male DV victims proportionally.
I just question whether using the available ad space to address male DV only if your purpose is to reduce violence against men, because DV for men is such a tiny proportion of ALL the violence against men. Perhaps for men it would be more effective to address ALL violence against men including DV.

For women, addressing DV specifically would have more of an effect than for men since women are abused inside their home in far larger numbers than men are- who are abused more outside their home by other men.

It would be up to men to decide how to use available ad space most effectively- and if they figure that spending it all on reducing the 1% of DV by women against them rather than on reducing the remaining 99% of violence by men, then I suppose they are free to do so.

”I believe it is dangerous to deny women's responsibility…”
OK I can agree that violent women need to take responsibility for their actions. That’s why DV against men can have a place in a campaign- but not by blowing it out of proportion. It remains a small number.

Continued

“…regardless of who is more likely seriously injured.”
I disagree with this part of the sentence.
Are you saying you warrant equal attention to a victim whose injury needs little band-aid and a victim who ends up in hospital suffering internal bleeding and broken bones?
I think the severity of injury does need to be taken into account.
As Antiseptic said, “arriving at a fair and just balance in dealing with it”. The key word is indeed, balance- on both sides.

”…it is dangerous to deny women's responsibility in the escalation of violence in domestic disputes…”
OK I can agree with that part of your sentence and is something that should shine through some of the DV ads.

“…regardless of who is more likely seriously injured.”
But I disagree with this part.
That sounds like you want to warrant equal attention and ad space to a victim whose injury needs a band-aid and a victim who ends up in hospital suffering internal bleeding and broken bones.

“Women who hit male partners may be more likely to be seriously injured than those who don't”
True, I agree, and the same goes for men who hit other men, and women who hit other women in case of same-sex relationships.

I think when the “higher levels of violence” puts victims in hospital this should be getting priority. The other forms, e.g. controlling behaviours should get attention too but I suppose a lot depends on funding that’s available and we need to make choices about what to prioritise.

Fractelle,

>'I will not be silenced', ' men don't like women speaking up about their experiences '.

>' subjected to such denigration' 'certain men are only interested in silencing women. Why?'

You've talked a lot recently about 'bullying' and a general 'level of vitriol that if it was physical would be considered violence', and added to that your comments here. Not one poster has tried to silence you, has said they want the campaign stopped, or denigrated you. There is simply no evidence for all these assertions you keep making. I am actually starting to think you're not in a very good place at the moment, as your reaction can not be explained and is seeming more irrational and hysterical on any topic.

Granted you have experienced DV and you find it an emotional topic. But if this is the case you would think you would have some empathy for robert, and myself who obviously also feel strongly about it for good reason. Robert has related his experiences. I have not, as I learnt some time ago how personal information is used against me on OLO. So since I don't want personal attacks, I refuse to give amunition to those like CJ and Romany, and even yourself.

But instead, you decide to offensively twist the motives of anyone who wants an honest representation of men and womens roles in domestic violence. You are as bad as pynchme. Nobody is trying to silence anything. I for one, just want some recognition for male victims, and some education for women not to contribute to a cycle of violence that could well see them injured. An honest dealing with a complex problem. Now you can keep trying to twist that into people denigrating you or silencing you or silencing women, but you're the one who will come out looking pretty stupid.

"An honest representation of mens' and womens' roles in domestic violence"? So, let's get "honest". Close to all domestic violence is committed by MALES. Ask ANY police officer who specialises in domestic violence work. It's not rocket science. I'll repeat it for the mentally challenged; close to all domestic violence is committed by MALES: Males against males, males against kids, males against females, and yes..even males against animals. MALES are the culprits. Only a tiny, tiny percentage of domestic violence is committed by females; just ask any attending police officer.

Does this mean NO females commit domestic violence? Of course NOT. Anyone without a barrow to push KNOWS the problem is primarily MALE violence. Just like it is in the broad society. It's primarily MALES who do the bank robbing, street assaults, raping, intimidating and weapon offences; that's why the prison population for violent crime is utterly DOMINATED by males, it always has been.

Yet we still, in this day and age, have neanderthal throwbacks saying "she made me do it". Men have often blamed women for their own rapes, assaults and murders.. "she made me do it"! Even on this forum, I've noticed if people don't agree with the line put by some males here on female related topics, then they are assumed to be female and they are then targeted for personal comments. If they reply using the same type of language, they are further targeted and are "blamed".

There's something very strange and defensive about a "few" of the males here. ALL domestic violence should be inclusive in discussion, but that needs to be accompanied by the recognition that almost ALL domestic violence is committed by MALES, unless you're of the persuasion of "she 'made' me do it, she's to blame for me raping/bashing her". I get the feeling there may be a few of those types here, to varying degrees