PALE:"What a wonderful woman.

Raising two girls plus holding down a full time job."

Yep and I was doing the same, still am. I must be a saint! Oh, of course, I can't be, I'm a man.

"Anyway as you chose to again attack me for no reason "

As you chose to try to tell me that I'm a bad parent for wanting to have my kids and as you've since gone on to throw insult after insult in my direction (albeit pretty feeble, in line with your capacity) I think I have every reason. Dolt.

You'd do better sticking to what you know...just what IS it you know again?

Col Rouge,
That was a lovely post.
Anti Dont you know when someone is pulling your leg.
I just said that.
Ar, Its all a bit of fun you see.
However I dont like women working with very young children. Maybe I am old fashioned but child care places are not where little ones should be full time.IMOP
Sounds like you had a good wife.
No wonder your so agro all the time.

You might as well stop kicking yourself however and learn not lear from your mistakes.
Perhaps she found you mean spirted and ungrateful

Who knows I can only judge you by how you treat others on the forum
Cheero and do try to be happy.

Col is correct. By rubbishing your kids mum is really putting yourself down and nobody else.

Now before you write back remember I said I am not the slightest bit interested in you your wife your kids.

"Me paying maintenance makes no difference to her right to pull a pension"

you must go back a long way as maintenance died 20 years ago and "Little Ozzie Pension" some 10 years ago

Wendy, sorry about the delay in responding. I've been thinking about your question and how to answer it. Given our history I'm a bit nervous about this process but will attemp to answer in good faith.

Firstly involving yourself in a friends family law situation is a high risk proposition. Emotions can already be stretched to breaking point. Friendships can be lost, harsh words can be said which are hard to undo.

Are there suggestions which you can make to help John do better at meeting his kids needs if he stays on the path he is on? Are there things you can think of which would help him manage the kids better. Do you have any meal suggestions that might work for him?

Talking to him about the stuff thats not working for the kids rather than about the rights and wrongs of property settlement might get a more receptive ear.

It sounds like John does love his kids but is struggling with some of the management issues. He should be smart enough to work out for himself if he can do this longterm if he can get time and space to think about it, sometimes when we are stuck in the middle of something it's hard to step back and put it all in perspective.

John's attempts to keep property is not your issue, concern for the harm inflicted on the children by both their parents choices may be. Focuss your efforts on helping the kids rather than how you think the legals should go.

If you think you need to say something to him make sure within yourself that it's something you would say if John was Joanne.

Sometimes we have to bite the bullet with friends and say things they may not want to hear but it's not something someone else can choose for you.

Good luck with this.

R0bert

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can only think you are all part of Howards Cash for Comment Team

http://familylawwebguide.com.au/

but hey, just like WorkChoices, Howard LOST

you need to GET OVER IT

and that site is about to lose funding

Robert

Thanks for that advise its Wendy Here. Umm its hard because as you have picked hes SO angry regarding her leaving its all about not only money but not wanting anything to change.
What he doesnt get yet is that its only his life that has changed and not so much the l kids lives.
John has nearly always been away travelling. They are used to that.

In the begining we enjoyed his sometimes hilarious attempts to be the house wife or partent to four kids.

The kids are miserable as hell and he cant even see it. His cooking is beyond help so we all statred tomake different dishes and drop them around to help claiming we had cooked too much etc.

He said thanks but he enjoyed cooking and spending quality time with the kids.

I think its best I leave it to the men to say somethying maybe over a beeer at a BBQ . His wife is aware that the kids are not happy at his place four night a week or three but shes trying not to look like the trouble maker so I guess its up to her and the courts.

Its a hard one and to be honest at times I get so mad with him because cant he see the kids are really miserable.

They love their Dad but his place is so full of dont touch this and dont do that while saying hes giving them quality time.

Just quickly Robert I would like to say sorry for past comments.
The problem wasnt you but Graham Young told us very strickly how we must post using our tag.
I was rather annoyed under those circumstances we could not defend ourselves.
Anyway lets not go into it that anymore. Of course! the pale tag doesnt belong in these sorts of comments but its not my call.

Hope you had a good Easter and thanks for your comments I will chew them over with friends.