Over time, we have seen people undergo processes like plastic surgery or a sex change. Some people use a lot of materialistic items to showcase themselves as people. For some they cover themselves in tattoos. These are just some examples. This is to change how they look, how they identify and how they are seen by others.

When we approach ourselves and continue relationships with ourselves there is a desire to change, punish, or alter ourselves to extreme levels as humans to meet certain expectations, including expectations of other people.

Wanting to be someone or something else, that is not yourself, is a waste of the person you are in my view. It is important to go through a process of self-discovery, find our purpose here in life, identify our values and discover who we are.

So, how do we get people to accept themselves for who they are, progress positively and naturally and move forward at the same time?

The first thing is to face facts.
Just what are we.
We are a coordinating intelligence which interfaces to the physical world with a body.
The intelligence is, in effect, a computer running programmes.
Many of these are 'dormant', and only run, or activate, when we require them.
In exactly the same way that we call up 'apps' on a smart phone when we need a particular function.
We use our 'senses' to call up the right programme.
It runs in the brain.

The body is the support system.
The body is also used for defence.
The body is also used for reproduction.
When others view us, they cannot see our brain working.
They can only relate to the physical 'thing' which is us.
They can, and do, observe our body language.
If and when they get to know us, they can understand the way we think?
Most of us, or at least many, forget to apply this to themselves.
They don't bother to work out what their own 'programmes' are.
They don't know themselves.

How to correct this?
By education?
By making persons curious about the 'abilities' they have?
But the very first thing is to acknowledge what we are.
And that our strongest drive is to survive, followed by the need to reproduce.
So life is all about survival.

But the very first thing is to acknowledge what we are
Ipso Fatso,
That & acknowledge our responsibilities ! Then & only then will we get along much better !
It is our responsibility to remind the selfish & irresponsible of their shortcomings !

If we have any responsibility at all, it is to encourage and enable all citizens to know themselves and their worth?
This will allow them to perform in a way which best contributes to the rest of their community?
And we need to make them aware of the benefits of doing so.
And ban those who persist in behaving poorly.

I am sorry if I seemed abrupt before.
What I was trying to say is that I don't see humans as having naturally occurring rights or responsibilities.
Our rights are really our needs, which become embodied in laws.
Responsibilities come from the good principles we apply to living.

These good principles guide our behaviour.
They form the basis of good laws.
We worked them out, and we use them because they give the best overall result.
These common principles keep us all going in the same direction.

So 'rights' and 'responsibilities' are added to life by common agreement.
They are often in line with our instinctive behaviour, but not always.
The bottom line is we use reason to guide us forward.
It is far better to live this way.

Ipso

Only the people you are referring to can sort themselves out, surely?

Dear Nathan,

Wanting to modify one's body is a phase within the process of self-discovery. As such it is not bad, so long of course as one is not stuck in that phase for too long. Yes, from a bird's-eye view we can tell that changing our bodies cannot change who we are, but this is not how the people at that phase see it, and we ought to respect where they are at and the sacred process they undergo.

Patience is the key: we do not "get" people to accept themselves for who they are, just like we do not pull on stalks to make plants grow faster. Everyone will progress positively and naturally anyway in their own time.

Amazing how those who profess to believe in individual freedoms, freedom of expression etc are the first to demand others conform to their norms and standards.

The question is; So, how do we get people to accept themselves for who they are, progress positively and naturally and move forward at the same time?

The Answer is; Why would you want to if they are doing you no harm.

The problem isn't necessarily about people accepting themselves for who they are any more than these weirdos expecting everyone else to accept them as normal.

I don't really care if some bloke wants to chop his bits off and take testosterone blockers and wear a dress but I'm not going to accept him as a real woman if he does.
- Or if a woman decides she's now a man like in Nashville.

For that they think the rest of us are the ones with the problem, not them, and then they go and shoot up a school, murdering Christians who wouldn't accept her sexuality.

The right exploits Nashville shooting to escalate anti-trans rhetoric
http://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2023/03/30/nashville-shooting-transgender-shooter/

- And then the media says that trans were the victims, not the ones they murdered.

How Many Mass Shootings Have Been Carried Out by Transgender People?
http://www.newsweek.com/mass-shootings-transgender-perpetrators-1790854

"The Colorado Springs shooter identified as non binary.
The Denver shooter identified as trans.
The Aberdeen shooter identified as trans.
The Nashville shooter identified as trans.
One thing is VERY clear: the modern trans movement is radicalizing activists into terrorists."

Hello Yuyutsu,

<<Patience is the key: we do not "get" people to accept themselves for who they are, just like we do not pull on stalks to make plants grow faster. Everyone will progress positively and naturally anyway in their own time.>>

Patience is the key. At home, I have my own herb and vegetable garden. There are ways I can nurture the plants to ensure they grow to their fullest and survive during tough times. How I look after the soil is important, I need to water the plants during times when it is hot (I don't like being out in the heat btw), composting is vital and I need to spray (non-chemical) when needed to deter certain insects. I need to think of the plant health and the overall garden.

The end results are a healthy garden and the harvest during each season is wonderful to have.

So, I see myself as a role model to others in that context. That being it is important to maintain a healthy garden, despite the challenges and you can see the positive results at the end. This is also done through the volunteer work I undertake as a person. I rarely consider how I look and my focus is more about what I do and achieve, which also includes times where you don't do as well as you may want to.

I also see my body akin to a garden. If I treat my body or garden badly and with disrespect, my personal health will pay the price.

I certainly don't do things to impress others, but I do hope a flow on effect of anything I do, is that others will see something they can take on in a (non-material) sense for personal change which is important. This is different to those who avoid a (non-material) path of self discovery and go down a material one, which can be an easy way to go involving things you can buy and purchase.

Dear Nathan,

You are on the right path, others are behind and some are ahead too.
We shall all reach God, some sooner others later, everyone's needs are taken care of, varied as they may be, big or small, this is a cause for joy, not for anxiety.

Continue to do your best, but leave the results in God's hands, He will never fail you.

Something else we should keep in mind.
We all live at least two lives.
Broadly speaking, we have a private life and a public life.
When you arrive home, you might want to take off your footwear, and wear loose clothing at all.
Then lounge around comfortably with family who do the same.
You might even wear no clothing.
In private, that is your choice maybe.
But when you go out in public, yes, I expect all persons to conform to an accepted standard of dress.
This also applies to their behaviour.
So there are limits to what you should do in public places.
Some seem to think it doesn't matter.
That they should be free to behave in any way they want.
And to dress in any non-standard or outrageous way they please.
I say we should dress and behave in a way appropriate to our surroundings.
I would most certainly not go shopping in the city centre wearing nothing but bathing trunks.
I might enter a shop near the beach like that, but that would be appropriate to the area.
So there are limits on all behaviour and dress codes.

Recently, I saw what I believe to be a couple from another country dressed as if they were still in that country.
I further believe, from their behaviour, that they were local citizens.
My impression of their dress was that they looked ridiculous.
Like something left over from a movie set.
They probably thought they are being dignified, but it didn't come across that way to me.
I just think that when in Rome, one should do as Rome does.
Try to fit in.
Adapt to the local dress standards.
Speak the language as much as possible.
This 'self-expression' business is going too far for public places.
I further think these limits apply more to men than to women.
Women should be encouraged to experiment with styles and modes of dress?
Ever has it been thus?
The fashion industry will ensure they remain stylish.

IF,

AND, what uniform do you want us ALL to dress in, so not to offend your sensibilities on dress codes. For me when people are not harming others, I have no problem with the way they dress, how they speak, what they do or not do, what they eat etc etc etc.

Why do the forums 'Usual Suspects' you know who you are, claim to believe in civil liberties, freedom of speech etc etc etc. Yet YOU are the first to demand others conform to your standards and norms. Why?

We should accept people how they are but not their character, they have to prove that first before they can expect to be acceptable to be accepted !

Indy,

Please explain, most people are of good character regardless from whence they came. People are people, and I've found people may be different culturally in ways, but their basic wants and needs are remarkably similar to ours. When you get to know them, you find you like them, just as you like your own.

Paul1405,
Yes, most people are ok until they're required to pull their weight !

Hi Indy,

Its obvious most people have "pulled their weight", you look around this great country and that fact is undeniable. I admired your own personal story you posted recently, it changed my opinion of you completely. BUT in our older years its better for use, for our own well being, to be optimistic about the future, rather than pessimistic. I look at my own family and I see the good things they are trying to achieve, I hope that is the same in your family. We have met recently an Indian family who have migrated to Australia, they have great hopes and aspirations for their future life here, and most of all for their young daughter. Of course they miss India and their family there, and want to return as much as possible to spend time with them and friends they very much miss. My wife has become very close to her, she does not work, but when things settle down may get a part time job, she knows nothing of Australia, when daughter goes off to school she is very much alone, cleans the house every day, cooks, does the garden etc. She has told my wife she is finding it very hard to adjust. Just the basic things like shopping are hard for her, much to learn.

A little anecdotal story. Our 16 year old grandson has landed himself an apprenticeship in the building industry. I was so encouraged by that achievement I heaped much praise on him. The fact he is "wet behind the ears" is neither here nor there, but he is just starting out, so I see a future for him.

Paul1405,
I make a point of observing people & what I found is that an encouraging number of young have or at least radiate far more sense than their parents & grandparents.
I found that those growing up before the 2000's are the culprits in uselessness, lack of common sense & decency in general.

"Sense" comes only with experience,something which young people obviously don't have. Look back at your own lives and think about the silly things you thought when you were young; worse, how you thought that you were right and your elders were wrong.

On the topic itself. : "we" don't get people to accept themselves or to do anything at all. Each individual is responsible for himself. Those people who think otherwise are just busybodies who are most likely not all that good at living their own lives - let alone someone else's. Whatever people do is their own responsibility, and they have to live with the consequences - some of which they will be happy with others not so much.

Mind your own business.

Why is it that, on average, the children of a bricklayer seems to be more well adjusted socially that the children of a psychologist?
Why is it that a child of a migrant family has more respect for it's parents than the home grown variety?
Why is it that children in a family of 4 living in a small house tend to be more considerate than the children of a family of 4 living in a house twice the size?
Do you think it might be the time parents have for their children?
Plant a cabbage you get a cabbage

Special Delivery,
Unfortunately, the Rights mentality is readily adopted but not the responsibility mentality !

Special Delivery has the right angle on parenting responsibilities. Unfortunately these days strangers have more influence on the kids' upbringing than parents do - from day care while Mum works to secondary schools where the teachers won't tell the parents that Johnny really wants to be Joeline.

Hi AC,

There have been 146 mass shootings in US so far this year, thanks for pointing out those 4 carried out by crazies who also have sexual identity hangups as well. If the other 142 were straights, then US would be safer with lots more sex devos running around with guns!

BTW; Watch out for our local nutter in Brisbane, he's got an AK-47 and he's straight! Well only bent slightly, no doubt a well adjusted young lad. To be sure, to be sure.

Hi Paul,
- Point taken / noted.

Paul1405,

<<Amazing how those who profess to believe in individual freedoms, freedom of expression etc are the first to demand others conform to their norms and standards.>>

The problem is many are being forced to conform to the standards of others or made to feel they should. It has been pushed onto people over many time periods, by entities, governments, schools, parents and others in society. I was reading an article about a Muslim woman who felt wearing a Burka supressed her identity, but she failed to understand what you wear is not reflective of you or your identity at all - but it has been a message pushed into so many people's minds.

Armchair Critic,

<<I don't really care if some bloke wants to chop off....>>

I do. A body is in many ways like a gift. It is something we should appreciate and treasure, something sadly many do not. If anything, many take what they have for granted.

Everything we have is there for a reason and for us to use, hopefully by most for the positive. There is so much we can do with what we have, it's just a question to where we direct our energy accepting ourselves for who we are at a basic level, or do we spend large amounts of time trying to change ourselves to something we really are not and avoid a focus on values, principles, ethics and overall direction.