Daviy
"I have found two basic models of feminism amongst women I have met. The 'Gloria Stienham' model that goes 'there are problems in our society that need to be fixed."

Yes there are two. I am of the camp that women can be authors of their own destiny..to a point. They can and do take responsibility for bad choices. I am also of the view in a society like ours there is a very clear trend of emotional abuse amongst everyone. From schoolyard bullying to the workplace it is almost the only qualification one needs to succeed. That concerns.

However, normally being one who would recommend a holistic approach I am concerned after reading many posts made by males. There is evidence in the writing style of obvious distress and mental health injury. Yet so many criticise them. You hurt and send this message and in return people abuse you? This is systematic abuse. We really need to give each other a bit of time and lend an ear. I am concerned to a high degree that victims seem to be easy targets for the next round of bullying. I have seen it before and have experienced it before. You are emotionally weakened by one over time and your perceived weakened state just attracts further bullying like bees to a honeypot. It is a form of torture and good people's lives ruined by it.

I do not think gender bias in support services should exist but perhaps the real victims here are men. They have no support and when they make a call for help they get spat at by other bullies. It is a concern, too many men calling for help over too many forums.

Apart from that the real easy option is for adults to grow up. Spitting venom only upsets the kids, ruins family gatherings and breaks hearts. Never seen it do any good.

TheMissus
"However, normally being one who would recommend a holistic approach I am concerned after reading many posts made by males."
And
" You hurt and send this message and in return people abuse you? This is systematic abuse. You are emotionally weakened by one over time and your perceived weakened state just attracts further bullying like bees to a honeypot. It is a form of torture and good people's lives ruined by it."
The thing is this is not a form of torture it is by the definition of the criminal intent torture.
To see your wife treated like a whore fed drugs and alcohol so she will be that way, at the time under Mental Health, and made believe that it is all my fault (the male)
Knowing that she was a good mother and could have stayed a good mother who our child loved as equal as he did me and yet where was the assistance?
Our son removed and given to the "parents" that raised her and locked from our lives, us trying to be a family but one short that being our son
This is not a form of torture it is TORTURE
Thanks for your time
From Dave

Aka and TheMissus thank you so much for your posts. Both have expressed parts of the issue very well. There are some other great posts on this thread and thank you to those who care enough to speak out. For those who don't get what TheMissus is talking about have a look at the two consecutive posts by Psychme at http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3252#77365

That is in my experience and observations somewhat typical of the attitudes men who speak out against violence by a female partner face from those who claim to be there to help.

Some have observed that you need to develop a thick skin but I'll pass thanks. It's not worth the cost.

R0bert

Oh dear, I certainly caused a stir with my last post by daring to answer poor dougthebears' post re allegations about Tiger Wood's wife attacking him with a golfclub.
Now really guys, if you read my post I did say it shouldn't have descended into violence didn't I?

In no way was I condoning the alleged domestic violence, merely stating the supposed full story rather than the abridged version Doug gave us.

Granted, I was stupid to take the bait and speak out about the wife, but I do feel sorry for her situation.

Big strong unfaithful Tiger is well able to look after himself and doesn't need all the women-haters of the world feeling sorry for him and his little wounds- poor baby!

There is quite an interesting conversation on Tiger Woods and his drama related to this very subject here:

The topic header is:-
I wonder if Tiger Woods will get the same treatment Rihanna got when it came to domestic violence? Somehow, I doubt Diane Sawyer will be interviewing him on Good Morning America about his injuries--at least, not with any sympathy.

http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2009/11/i-wonder-if-tiger-woods-willget-same.html

So on to the latest joke.

What is the difference between a car and a golf ball.?

Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards :)

Woods appeared to be following the standard advice given to males when they are under attack from a female partner: that is leave the premises. Usually the NSW police tell the male to go for a walk. Unless the male has suffered a serious injury requiring medical treatment, even if the male has done nothing wrong, then it is the male who leaves, not the female.

If the male is the perpetrator then the male is removed. No question.

The fact that Woods was leaving at that time in the morning without a good reason - otherwise he would have had a chat with the constabulary by now - the only logical conclusion is that is was being chased out of the home.

An ABC article at http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/06/22/2604559.htm is interesting.

And I have been personally told by a police sgt that no magistrate will even issue an AVO against a 'sick old women' (ie, over 50) no matter what she does.

So Suzie, how would you suggest I deal with the problem? Perhaps go to the extreme and use 'battered wife syndrome' as a defence?

I think not, because as a recent case shows it does not work. (and I could not live with myself, as I would not take another person's life before my own0

Compare

http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Abused-wife-cleared-of-husbands-murder/2006/03/03/1141191843495.html

with

http://www.theage.com.au/national/abuse-no-excuse-for-killing-says-judge-20091120-iqyy.html

So I will just wait until my father passes away, and I won't have his heart to break before I end this damned pain.