Good article.

I'd extend the passing the buck and excusing individual's bad behaviour past footballing associations though. It would be interesting to see how many organisations from across the board, ie religious, social, work related, don't indulge in similar excuse making if unpleasantness happens on their watch.

Something a bit tribal seems to happen and the complainant pretty often ends up the one being tarnished by the situation. Yet if you pinned members of most organisations who were excuse making down and put it to them in clinical terms they would be outraged at such things happening, as long as it was another organisation's individuals who were involved.

Perhaps a little cynical, but I suspect the pychologists who recommend the victims of workplace bullying just leave and find a new job in the face of excuse making, are right.

Being a Mere Male Carline I have one observation. In My line of work everyone is ultimately responsible for his or her own safety, It is up to you to keep yourself safe. There will always be bad people in the world and it's silly to believe that women do get themselves into bad situation, now that doesn't absolve the violence but you do have to ask yourself could the victim have done something different.

Hi All,

RE: Workplace bullying.
Why should the victim be forced to leave?
This is not solving a problem that needs to be addressed more broadly with counselling and or (last resort) punishment of the perpetrator/s. It is just hiding the problem. A problem that may also affect any newcomers.
A business having a reputation for allowing it to happen might find it difficult to recruit employees, so it is in the business interest to stop it.
School place bullying, with a reluctance of schools to take action is a similar example to workplace bullying.
Examine the reasons for the bullying culture. You might be surprised.
1. Schools (private or public) may not want to offend parents of the bullies, as they may be financial or other contributors to the school
2. It may stop enrolments to have the school admit it happens.
3. With businesses, a bully may also be a most valued/experienced worker, hence the reluctance of the company to replace him or her.
There may have close ties with management, e.g. family, etc.
3. Often, it is the most vulnerable and least able to get help, who are victims e.g. disabled, weak, and poor, etc.
4. It may reflect the poor leadership of school management or reluctance of teachers to complain, just in case it affects future career development or; teachers inability to cope with the problem.

The duty of care lies with the business, instrumentality, department to ensure that employees and staff are aware of the illegality of bullying. Employers are responsible for not taking action.
However, the culture is difficult to stop unless you understand the reasons behind it.
Bullying is often a reflection of the home environment and any role model set by a bullying parent can be expected to impact on the children, hence translating to the workplace or school.
Just counselling the perpetrator or the victims will not solve the problem when the real reasons exist outside.
This is where governments need to look further rather than just putting a law in place that is cosmetic in effect.

Regards
professori_au

'Why did she not leave'? Surely a better question is why did she enter the relationship in the first place. They say love or lust is blind but so is the thought of being the partner of a footy or cricket star.
If any parent really wants what is best for their daughters they will teach them that character is really important. In some cultures including much of Australian culture women have little respect. They want to act and dress like tarts, speak with foul mouths and then be treated like ladies.

Many of our sporting heroes believe their own press. They actually believe they are gods and why not. They are worshiped and the girls are just one of many prizes. Thankfully their are some exceptions. Women should look closely at what culture they are entering into if they want to be respected. Some cultures show only as much respect for woman as to get what they want out of them. Many woman refuse to accept this reality.

The responsible party in such cases is clearly the abuser, however to turn this into a social issue about aggressive and dominating males and naive and powerless females is very out of touch and demeaning to women.

Women actually have independent careers these days and can actually think for themselves thought the author doesn't seem to know this. For the author to suggest the woman often can't leave because it may affect her financial status and because her family might still think he is a good guy is hugely disparaging comment on the intelligence and independence of women. It suggests that they are willing to accept the abuse and they are blindly influenced by everyone else. Very 1950's and completely and thoroughly wrong.

These stories, as common as they are these days, are frequently associated with RL and AFL players and are usually about people who are paid to be violent for a living,the people who make money from them (both men and women!)and the women who are attracted to them. Will she return to him and will the Court just slap his wrist? Probably.

The comment about excuses for violence against women perpetrated by the ABC Four Corners program as being "a win-win strategy for all men, rich or poor" is bizarre, uncalled for and just plain nasty.

Kenny, who defines what is keeping yourself 'safe'? A young woman who falls in love with a superstar playing in a code that she loves, and who is in the paper cuddling babies, probably thinks she is going to be safe when she moves in with him. She should be.

Professori_au it would be nice to think that the victim of workplace bullying would not have to leave. But the reality is that if the victim is a small fish and receives absolutely no support from the organisation with which they are involved, and the organisation refuses to act, says it is not their problem, and indeed that organisation further promotes the perp and then other members join in on the perp's bad behaviour, pulling up stumps is the best way to handle it.

Some wars are not winnable. You can of course launch legal action for pyschological damage and loss if income from bullying but there is no guarentee of winning, and it is expensive, and the fight may be more damaging than the original bullying.

There is nothing wrong with standing back realising that their bad behaviour is no reflection on yourself (though it's a pretty good guess that as part of the organisation's justification you will find yourself labelled mentally ill, drug addict or alcoholic) and removing yourself is the best way to handle it. That said if you are being stalked like I was (and maybe still at risk) at public events and can get a photo and identify them, then a trip to the police is in order. Each situation is different and the victim needs to find what is comfortable for them.