Go back to Lebanon Mr Trad.

I am a 32-year-old female, Polish born, not religious, but I consider myself spiritual and have a keen interest in Gnosticism. I have been in a defacto relationship for 13 years and have a child. I have not decided to marry because I personally consider the act of marriage as somewhat restricting.

I would like to congratulate Keysar Trad on bringing the issues of polygamy into a discussion in our contemporary society. More than before we need new role models where we can live freely and through which we can express ourselves without stigma.
I am very open-minded person and think that we should create new models/types of relationships that suit the nature of our human spirit and not be judged for our gender or religion. I think our teenagers would benefit from those new role models in relationships and help them with their own sense of identity and develop emotional maturity.

We have to look at ourselves and our relationships without fear and accept the new possibilities where old ones make us feel emotionally, spiritually and physically restricted. (Look depression, adultery, health problems)
A discussion is definitely needed, so is honesty!

I would personally accept another person into my relationship, as I feel it would give us more freedom and help us to develop more mature love and respect towards one another without jealousy and possessiveness. It's absurd to think we are not going to be attracted to others just because we are in a committed relationship. We should be able as mature adults to discuss our needs and in the name of love and freedom not religion or morality let go of old 'laws' that do not suit everyone. This will only work in a mature, equal, healthy relationship, but there is certainly a room for polygamy in the future. I would prefer to grow up with it rather that deceit, dishonesty and disconnection that surrounds us. Some of us are capable to love more that one person.

Bronwyn..I agree it should be about equality and rights.

Call me stuuupid but I would not like my wife sleeping with another man, and given that males and females are equal.. I cannot imagine my wife exactly rejoicing if I slept with another woman.

I simply cannot fathom the idea of dressing up marital unfaithfulness in a label to make it somehow acceptable.

The idea of marraige is the ultimate intimacy and one-ness of a man and a woman..

Bozo.. Mohammad and 9 yr old Aisha are not in the Quran, it is well attested in the Hadith..2nd level of Islamic scriptures. The hadith are 'sahih'.. i.e. proven and recognized, and from multiple chains of narration.. nothing to argue about, its fact.

But wife beating is in the Quran.. and I'm sure all the ladies out there are utterly overcome with joy knowing they have this very strict 'rod' of authority hanging over them.. and of course..if we doubt the size of the rod.. there are plenty of instructional video's on youtube which can assist we blokes on how to do it.

Keysar has a personal agenda here..and it's a bit lower than his navel.. he was once (?) obsessed with another girl..maybe he still is?

But in reality this is more about 'Islamic law' than just the personal circumstances of Keysar... the closer we come to that... the happier he will be.

If the government was to recognise polygamy where would limits then be set? In fact, why would there be a need for any societal norms if were we to recognise the whims of any interest group?

Common customs and institutions are vital for strong communities, and recognising polygamy would undermine this.

Mr Trad go back to where you belong. Back to Lebanon.

I'm trying to picture how this debate will play out amongst some in the muslim community. On the one hand we have a society that has for the most part learned to accept homosexual relationship's. That has not yet legalised their unions but is willing to have a serious discussion on the topic. My impression is that fundy muslims are about as keen on homosexuals as fundy christains.

On the other hand when a muslim raises the isea of pluralistic marriages, allowed in their faith, common amongst the key figures in the old testament and only expressly forbidden to church leaders in the new testament many are up in arms in outrage.

When Dustin Hoffman suggests that men are not well suited to monogamy we have a quiet giggle and think all the better of him, when Keysar says pretty much the same thing we are outraged. We cope quite well with serial monogamy but are distressed at the idea that consenting adults might seek to deal with this a different way.

It appears from what I've seen of the research that a large proportion of people are also involved in infidelity with an existing partner - an interesting paper is at http://www.uwm.edu/Dept/Commun/pdf/babin.pdf

The difficulty which I see with Keysar's proposal is sorting through the maze of governmnet involvment in relationships to ensure such relationships don't gain extra financial advantage over other types of relationships nor be unfairly disadvanataged. That looks like a nightmare. Likewise with the myriad forms which don't consider the possibility of more than one spouse - a lesser issue but not insignificant.

The rest of the arguments against seem to be the old anti-gay arguments recycled or a lack of confidence in women to make informed adult choices.

R0bert