I found this article very validating. I am a woman who grew up in a home that was characterised by DV where my mother, due to mental illness, was the main perpetrator. This was misunderstood by my father whose ethnic background put forward strong patriarchal control imperatives. The cycle of violence that resulted from this convergence of issues and misunderstandings was shocking and brutal.

I grew up thinking that somehow my experience was marginal to what DV meant, since it did not conform to the media stereotype of the thankless brute beating up on the mousey wife. I think that issues of historical sanctioning of patriarchal violence is something that needs to be recognised as we move as a society to better address DV. But it is the overriding dysfunctionality of families that occurs that is the real issue. Addressing issues of mental illness, and the idea that aggression and violence are a legitimate means of control are the real issue. It's not a gender war (what about sons that are hit by their fathers?). It's a complex social problem.

Finally, the witnesses of DV are still not fully recognised as its victims.

Whilst I do not consider myself to be a feminist, I can't believe this load of utter rubbish. Of course Australia is not saying 'yes' to violence against men. What complete and utter tripe!

Like most of my fellow Australians I would feel for anybody in an abusive situation, whether male or female, whether the abuse is physical, verbal, emotional, whatever.

However, the fact remains that generally men ARE physically stronger than women. It has nothing to do with feminism. Far from being criticised, the government should be commended for this campaign.

Like hello ... there is a reason why most of the serious injuries are sustained by women and not men. Well, duh!!

As a woman who has suffered the powerlessness of an attempted sexual assault, I can certainly attest to that. Although I fought physically with everything in me, as I began to tire it became obvious that my strength was no match for my assailant and could not prevail in the situation. In the end, it was only providence and my wits that saved me from what has been described as a murder of the soul, where the victim has to get up afterwards and go on with life. I would rather have died.

If I ever attempted to strike my partner, he would simply block me. I would have to assault him in his sleep to do any serious damage, and although wonderful he is not especially muscular.

My heartfelt sympathy to any woman who lives with the constant nightmare of fear, pain, degradation and shame of physical abuse and has to suffer the kind of appalling prejudice expressed in this article and many of the comments.

Just be sure and watch out for all those rabid female rapists, you bunch of panty-waisted 'men'. Try not to be too scared when you walk down a street alone at night.

As for the superior, self-righteous, hard, cold-hearted, judgmental 'women' who have posted, I have nothing but disgust and contempt.

Ho Humm!

It is true that men generally are bigger than women.

However wife bashing was never a national sport. Here you are using the esculaton tactic to jusitfy your own bias.

Lets look at how figures get widely exagagerated. It is often claimed that 1 in 4 women experience sexual assault, however the latest reader survey in the Women's weekly puts the figure at about 8 in 100.

Excellent article — timely and fair. I just can't see how making gender (and indeed age, to factor in child abuse) irrelevant when dealing with dv won't help all who suffer.

I know one bloke who is occasionally violent toward his wife and his kids. They're both dear friends of mine, even though it sh!ts me that he's such a d!ckhead. So typical — he loathes himself after a loss of temper, yet it's taken him ages to accept he needs therapy. Although he has. I reckon his violence makes him feel insecure about his masculinity. I really believe that if he knew women were violent too, it would make him feel better about seeking help. I mean, it's just a theory, but I really reckon it.

I've had two girlfriends with violent male partners. (One I've just discussed.) I also know one lesbian couple with a violent partner and one ex-boyfriend who had a violent ex-girlfriend. So, in terms of the gender of the perp, my personal experiences of DV stand at 50/50.

I think monikasar put it best: "It's not a gender war. It's a complex social problem."

Noisy Scrub Bird,

You point out there are differences between men and women. Strange how you don't seem to accept that women can also be different from each other. Some like to stay home and look after children, whereas for others that would cause misery, loneliness and cause enormous loss of confidence - to the benefit of nobody. Similarly, it would suit some men and not others.

Everyone is different. Accept it and stop trying to blame the ills of society on other women just because they are not like you.

Not a bad piece, and I suspect it's pretty much on the money.
I still think violence against women, by men, is more common, not only in frequency but also severity, but I can certainly believe there are frequent occurrences of the opposite situation.
I've no doubt our system doesn't really accommodate men who have suffered at the hands of violent female spouses.

I guess the real problem for those who seek to raise awareness here, are those on the fringe who tend to grab attention - either the genuine misogynists, or those embittered by their experiences with the opposite gender, who attack anything that resembles feminism even when it's reasonable (I'm not saying there aren't problems with feminism, but if you're one of those people who think 'all' feminists are bad, then I suspect you have issues).

This is a subject which needs genuine attention, so I'd urge those with an axe to grind to just put it down for a while, and perhaps focus on constructive ideas instead of hate-mongering.