I'm a middle aged woman who grew up with an American culture made schizophrenic by feminism. As a young wife I heard many voices; voices which came from the feminist movement and voices from the family of women who came before me; telling me to have a career; my husband wanted me to stay home and take care of the household; cater to my husband, but be a slut too; that men don't cry, but if he does I should applaud his effort to be more sensitive.

I felt the pressure to be a wife, a mother, a career woman, a whore. I've been part of the struggle to have equal pay for equal work, to have autonomy over my own body, and to be taken seriously as an intelligent human being with a opinion. After at least a hundred years of female suffrage, the struggle goes on. Only now it is in a larger context. As long as there are women in this world being treated as property by men, men are necessary. Men are now free to cry, to be emotional, to be indecisive, to let a woman lead. Men are the yardstick we will continue to measure ourselves by.
Patty Jr. Satanic Feminist

I'm not sure what Jennifer is trying to say. This seems to ramble without a direction. I needed to know more about Maureen Dowd and 'Are Men Necessary'.

Doing a search (not G**@#e) gave me lots to choose from. This is good - www.slate.com/id/2129290/.

I can feel what Patty Jnr SF has said. These days many men do not know what they want. They are confused by what the media portrays and reality. They are conditioned by patriarchy and conditioned by family and peers.

Is there any truth to the idea that men marry their 'mothers'?

Certainly more work and research needs to be done to break down the hegamony of past and present sex sterotypes. I'd be interested in reading Jennifers PhD thesis.

Dear Maureen

Thank you for your article. I have not read any of Dowd's work - after reading your article, not sure that I want to. Ah then, curiosity will get the better of me.

Patty

You sound rather angry. I guess I have not met the men that you have. I have never been treated like a slut or a whore by my husband or my male frieinds. We have equal respect. We are equal.

My father and my brother have always treated me as equal to them.

I have read your post a number of times. I cannot clearly understand where you are coming from - apart from some overt bitterness towards your husband?

People earn my respect - whether they are male or female - and I have to earn their's - whether they are male of female - child or adult.

Cheers and chin up
Kay

I agree with you Kay, People earn my respecty as well and t doesnt matter what they are, man woman child, red green black purple short fat tall,bent straight rcih poor.

I believe that change was coming anyway, as equal education was imposed, so equality in other aspects followed. I remember in my first year of high school, being put in with the girls typing and domestic science classes, because I played up and wouldn't learn french or german. The aim was to disgrace me and make me look a fool. Only trouble was, I loved it and so did the girls. I learnt to type, cook, sew. Spent lots of classes with all these gourgeous women my age, just lovely.

Didn't last long, they didn't handle me enjoying it and lots of other blokes started to complain because I got so much time with the girls and everyone else had to be segregated. Now that to me is true justice and equality.

Just about every bloke I know, greatly respects the women in their lives and treats them equally. If you want to be equal in this day and age, then you act equal. I think we've just about made that grade and it certainly makes live better and more enjoyable.

Sheepish, of course men are not necessary, if every one is gay then there will not be anyone to be of any purpose ,thus UN necessary... But your theory says, we can generate our own by technology, but the next question is, into what? Necess- Scary, Ooooo how Solipsism is a curse on those less able to think. But then again, that is an Oxymoron. Or just moronic?
I love my wife too, but , Unequal IQ does not level to: Equallaty, thats agictprop promilgated propaganda.Importance and relivance is the issue, not Thoughtlessness. RESPECT and Diciplin, ahhh yes , that is what this crap has created ,Thoughtlessness and disrespect,for each other. Now we are talking , that is the issue is it not?
Is the druged up Culture war still in full flight? You have to land some time on realisms world in the future. Some how I am not looking foward to that.

Patty,

As Anon. once famously wrote, “crapping on one’s yardstick, will increase measurement error rates”.
I enjoyed your post - Salman Rushdie has nothing on you ;-)