Trade215

You made some very fair comments when you indicated that if men are going to be accused of certain activities they just accept that accusation and live up to it, because in my experience men do not, or do not know how to, stand up against the bias that has developed against them.

“Right you are... you dont need us and are better off without us and that message is reinforced by the media. What, my sisters, are YOU going to do to IMPROVE the situation?”

I could also ask, what are men doing to improve the situation.

I have been fortunate to have 2 lifestyle changes. I grew up on the South Coast among the surfie culture where Puberty Blues was very much alive and breathing. Then (and remember I am 53) the girls sat in a pile, giggling and watching the boys, while the boys strutted and worked their own group. Occasionally strolling over to the girls group to pick a ‘bird’ for the night. I would sit with the guys (one my boyfriend and now husband). One day, one of the girls petulantly said to me “How come you get to sit with the guys?”

You know, it had never occurred to me not to! So, that mindset stayed in my mind for nearly 40 years as an indication of the submissive role women assumed. Waiting to be selected like a prize mare.

I wonder whether women’s lib, which I believe to have been one of the single most damaging elements of the equality of humanity, has given women a victim’s status, and now the victim has been given the power.

My second lifestyle change involved living and rearing children in a country town. An experience I would commend to all. Insular – yes. A cross between Peyton Place meets Desperate Housewives – yes......

Cont

Cont...

But, you learn that your partner is valuable. In farming communities men and women have a place and a part to play that is a complement to their partners. That is not to say that sexism does not rear its ugly head, but who has time for it out here. We are not besieged by millions of people and their problems, newspapers shouting headlines, etc.

That I think is where you fellows have let yourself be deceived. You don’t think you are valuable.

I know many women who have been women’s lib. Their lib belief causes them to scream equality, yet their inner person craves a companion so much, that they become this alternating mess of indecision. Then they get angry at themselves and disgusted at their indecision, which finally leads to retribution. In most cases against the man they believe is at the cause of their problems. And as with most people with an attitude that goes against the prevailing beliefs – they work to change by getting themselves in positions of power, ie. Media, government, etc

I can see that men are now in the ‘prize mare’ situation. Except most men don’t appear to have an inner craving for a woman’s company, so much as any woman for the night.

And so this situation will keep going round, one century women ‘on top’, the next men as the rulers. How do we change it?

Well, I know that the Promise Keepers in the US has an active agenda of raising the image and attitudes of men to a higher standard, but whether women’s groups are trying as well, I can’t say. As for my part, I have 3 daughters and a son my husband and I have tried to guide to a balanced outlook, I write and I live a life in my community. Not much, but small stones throw wider and wider ripples, I trust.

I think the problem with sexism is the same problem that we are having with racism.

See if I ask my teenage daughter to help me with some housework I get accused of sexism and I am expected to explain and justify to a on edge teenage girl why I asked her and not her teenage brother. It truly is bizzare. See if I ask my son, he never interrogates me about why I asked him and not his sister he just helps or escapes.

The same problem happens with racism. My daughter was telling me that there is a game that they play on the internet called Habbo where you create a character and interact and play games as that character. Habbo have very recently introduced Asian eyes for their characters and the Asians are screaming racism and accusing those that are non Asian that if they wear Asian eyes and they are not Asian in real life then they are racist. Its crazy.

It’s all become a joke. There is such a confusion as to what our roles and obligations are and exactly what racism means that its no wonder the world is a hostile and confused place.

OH, and I thought it was really funny that my daughter referred to what was happening in Habbo as 'Faceism'.

I think that we have to many "isms" and not enough Common Sense.

ism as described by dictionary.com
n. Informal
A distinctive doctrine, system, or theory: “Formalism, by being an ‘ism,’ kills form by hugging it to death” (Peter Viereck)

SuziQ, I saw an article recently in which it was claimed that at least some research shows that what men want most in a relationship is companionship. No links to it sorry, I think it was a segment on Good Morning America. It rang true to me but I have no idea how rigerous the research was.

I suspect that the issue is that sex and companionship are not wired together the same way for men and women (depending on who you believe about the amount of infidelity around).

It think that many guys are getting very pesimistic about finding a partner who values us for who they are rather than what we can provide. Someone who is happy to be our companion even if we don't do things the way the woman thinks we should. I know that cuts both ways and maybe we are losing track of the concept of companionship and acceptance from both sides.

R0bert

Thanks for your "fuzzy" article Peter. A bit wishy-washy for me. Even so, I have found the postings to your article, challenging and interesting.

I recovered from rampart feminism in 1985! For six months I doggedly followed the brainwashing. After that, I started to think for myself.

I generally like men. I enjoy talking with men. I like the way that men get straight to the point in a conversation. Generally, I find women mentally and emotively a manipulative group. Oh gosh. Now I will be called sexist.

One of my closest male friends is 82 years of age. I love him dearly, and I respect his respect for women. I respect my husband's respect for women.

I think that men are given a raw deal in our society - especially by women - and the media. There are many men who are rearing children on their own. Do we ever hear of them?

SuziQ - great post.
Hi RObert!
Cheers
Kay