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The Forum > Article Comments > Men make a meal of household equality > Comments

Men make a meal of household equality : Comments

By Nicholas Gruen, published 20/1/2006

Nicholas Gruen examines the division of labour in households between the sexes.

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Yabby - I take your point that there is a great deal of selfishness on both sides.

There is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he is doing around the house. It was such a turn-on to come home to a clean home and food on the table....

I think we will achieve true equality one day, but not for many generations. There are still women who basically behave like prostitutes (marry for money etc) and they push any progress back for the rest of us (women). Plus there are still men who think that bossing women around makes them 'real men', when all it does is make them a pain to be around.

Enjoying the thread - thanks to all.
Posted by Scout, Friday, 27 January 2006 12:44:13 PM
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Dr Nichloas Gruen presents a prime example of 'male bashing' with this article on domestic 'roles' or gender inequality.
Present trends journalists and amateur counterparts utilise is that men are useless at domestic matters.
We see and hear it enough in the media,(especially television), that men are inept and women are the most capable 'sex' on the planet. Women have a long way to go before thay can match the physical and mental capabilities of men. History speaks for itself.
The best 'domestics' are often of the male gender - footman, waiter, butler.
The best chefs undeniably male, (Note the TV cooking programs featuring men), and yet 'Men Can't Cook' according to the media and Dr Gruen?
Dish washers in restaurants are generally male, (No electric dishwashers here -remember the Chinese laundry, mainly worked by men? No washing machines there).
Men perform better under pressure, and have the physical strength to make better cleaners. (Have you checked who is cleaning your office recently?)
Yes, many women do look after the family home and I'm sure they do a good job, however
Men can and do perform domestic duties often and do them well.
It may be a source of some humour but 'Gay' men have been noticable in the domstic 'arena' - many women agree.
How about putting a little less bias to the women and a bit more to the men.
If you are interested,
I always cook Christmas dinner for family and friends.
I perform most 'domestic' everyday chores,
Plus I am handyman, gardener, entertainer, and friend. I am also a father to my daughters who live with and depend on me. (Their mother died 8 years ago)
On top of that, I have a full time job,play sport and also am a musician.
Have I left anything out -
Oh Yes, occasionally I am busy with my wonderfully over energetic 6 year old son( from my ex-wife)
So I don't think I am doing too badly for a 'Useless' male.
What do you think Dr. Gruen
Posted by ET TU BRUTUS, Friday, 27 January 2006 2:05:00 PM
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I am also a single father who did more than my fair share of bringing up my children. They have spend most of their time with me while in addition to their financial support, I seemed held responsible for their hapless mother (it is a blunt instrument, that CSA).

I also cook and clean, but do so as necessary and unashamedly look to labour saving techniques. These include some prioritisation, take-outs, eat-outs, and erratic cleaning frenzies as time permits and requirements dictate.

Housework is easier than a high pressure job, at 48.5% tax rates, 32% child support (or mostly 18% in my case), and a mortgage. There is nothing easier than acquiring at least half a Sydney house just by living in it for a few years while keeping it somewhat clean. Tax free and shameless, yet we still complain…

We’re bound to be just as unhappy, when that utopian day of true equality arrives. If not that very day, then surely the one following. So let’s all learn to cook and clean. If our children must belong to their mothers, then let’s at least not lose our homes to their cleaners.
Posted by Seeker, Friday, 27 January 2006 10:24:40 PM
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I had lived by myself for around 4 years. My home the domestic bastion of a “single white male”. Better coordinated and decorated (although I know what colours go with teal, I have no other leanings that way) than most single male abodes but the usual standard in many other respects, vacuumed once a month, dusted now and then, no children any more, no mess and that same convenient “seat up” strategy which I had educated my daughters into when they lived here.

About 6 months ago my partner moved in fulltime, mainly to avoid excessive travel for her new job and as a prelude to us doing the Sea Change thing in the near future.

I had never considered how much a single male household saves by frugal use of toilet rolls (oh do women eat them?), the avoidance of toilet deodorisers and the array of specialist cleaning products.

The toilet deodoriser was the worst, the plastic hook broke and it got flushed, blocking the pipe and costing another $140 for the plumber to attend.

In our joint household, my partner chooses to use the laundry several times a week, whilst I would leave it to a slow evening but before the pile of dirties threatens to incubate a new species.

Re-Ironing, got an ironing lady and at $10 a load is very economic.

Cooking (or meal preparation) – she does dinner 30% of time, me 10% and then we eat out a lot, I do breakfast (95% time).

Pedant, your domestic respects and tolerances are to be commended.

When_The_Going_Gets_Weird, Great post however Instead of “divorcee” I preferred “born again batchelor”

Spot on t.u.s. “women do things which are there to be done, men do things which have to be done.”

Excellent analogy, no point us fella’s worrying about our hair being matted or if our loin cloth coordinates with our wolf skin top when hunting brontosaurus.

Don’t worry about tubleys “shrewness”, you are in a select group to be the object of his attempts at sarcasm and even Shakespeare had tips on how to tame them.
Posted by Col Rouge, Saturday, 28 January 2006 7:31:41 AM
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I suppose I go against the theory that males do what needs to be done as opposed to what's 'there' to be done.

I believe it to be very functional to live in a clean, organised house. In my view if you have control over house, if your house looks good and operates well, then this extends into your daily life, for example, organised house = organised life. Control over house = control over your own life.

I ensure that the flour, sugar, baking soda etc are kept to one section of the cupboard while the spices are kept in another. All containers are marked neatly with permanent marker.

I ensure that there is no clutter in the house and that beds are made each day and everything is kept tidy. No messy chords from appliances are to be sticking out hap-hazardly and same goes in the living room - all videos to be stored in the one place, books stacked neatly and evenly on shelves, photo frames arranged in a balanced manner.

In the garden I choose plants that go well together, are correctly spaced and suit the climate that we live in. I keep bushes pruned and the grass mowed. Garbage is taken out regularly, with recyclable objects put into the recycling bin. I take the dog for a walk twice a day.

I do all the cooking and I wash up as I go - I enjoy the meal more knowing that I've already done the washing up. I do housework every day because I want to, it helps me keep on top of things and makes it all the more enjoyable returning home each day.

This extends to my profession as I have found that having a neat and organised classroom enables children to work and learn better. Parents, I have found also like to see their children working in such an environment.

My partner is also a teacher and wishes to continue teaching while I look after any future kids we may have. I think it will work well.
Posted by tubley, Saturday, 28 January 2006 8:34:53 AM
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Somebody please email me when this debate is resolved
Posted by bennie, Saturday, 28 January 2006 1:20:26 PM
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