All above, all too true.

If you're an older man going to your kid's secondary school's public activities - award giving nights and the like - just check out the "come-on" looks from the no end of little tarts, exercising and practising their new found sex powers. And why these schools permit these girls to wear makeup at these events I have no idea.

It's really quite funny seeing these little girls trying to turn it on. As an adult man, their juvenile, corny and exaggerated behaviours I find harmless and very amusing. A good laugh and an insight into what sort of women they're going to turn out to be. But then, given that some men might be gullible and inexperienced at dealing with teenagers and this sort of young girls' experimentation, they might be led into believing that they are being shown signs of genuine affection. It might lead them down a very dangerous and highly illegal path.

Old saying - "Those who light the wick, shouldn't be surprised when the cracker goes bang."

More education and respect required all round for everybody, as well as the introduction of EOC sexual harassment legislation to protect gullible old men from predatory teenage girls.

All fascinating and interesting posts guys. I thought back to when I was 12 - I never found older men at all attractive. However I was aware of boys and I was aware that I wanted to be thought attractive. I believe that many young girls are more 'testing the water' than wanting to actually dive in completely.

This is where it behoves men to behave as Space Cadet, R0bert and others have stated with a great deal of care. The same applies to boys as well - I have had and still have young boys from the neighbourhood visit me on a variety of pretexts - it is quite touching and amusing to watch as they try to be what they consider macho.

As adults we have the responsibilty to ensure that we raise our boys and girls to have a healthy respect for themselves and each other. Paedophilia is a predatory behaviour and quite rightly is a crime.

It is sad how the media tempts children to rush headlong in adult hood way too soon. We spend so much of our lives as adults - we owe it to our children to preserve their innocence and not to betray them by taking advantage of their awakening sexuality.

this conversation has provoked really interesting reactions, i think. i think that girls probably do flirt with older men - and get crushes on them. however, that can not justify the abuse of that position by anyone - male or female. a 12 year old girl is still a child. she still has a romantic belief of what affection is, and what it is like. the things that little girls are chasing when they flirt with older men is not the same thing that men desire.

the argument that a little girl is asking for it because she flirts with an older man (whilst not really knowing what she is doing - because sometimes the possibilities do not even occur to someone if they are unaware that something beyond their experience even exists) is reprehensible. and can only be likened to the argument that anyone who is raped is asking for it. and that is a terrible view - especially if, as it seems here, it still pervades.

i have read lolita, and think that it is a magnificent book - in its beauty and horror. never should we forget that children are young, and inexperienced and that they do not think as adults do. a child thinks as a child - she does not think sex is about the reality of the physical - she thinks of it as the embodiment of all her romantic dreams. and that is not the case. don't ever let those dreams be destroyed in children.

s

Scout, Suze, this is probably me just being overly sensitive to gender issues - if so please excuse me. Don't forget that this in not always an older man, child thing. There has been a fair bit of coverage recently in the media (too much of it favourable) about the female school teacher who had and affair with a male teenage student.

There have been enough other similar cases that they cannot be ignored when discussing the issue. The issue of the child "asking for it" was a significant factor in the coverage of the case I am thinking of.

I've heard of an instance in NZ (but can't prove it) where a teenage boy is reported to have to pay child support to an adult women.

R0bert

R0bert, you are correct that the predator is not always an older man. I acknowledge that there have been instances of older woman/young boy. However, it is at a lower rate than for older men.

The point I tried to make was that our children (girls AND boys) need to be provided with postive support while exploring their sexuality and at the same time protected from all (male/female) who would exploit them.

I am sure that if I had been encouraged with positive role models and had developed a greater self esteem than I had way back then I would have chosen my sexual partners more wisely.

I aim to be a rock of support for my niece and nephew - and their champion if any tried to hurt them.

Cheers

Dianne

Dianne/Scout (which do you prefer online?) Totally agree. Thanks. I'm probably a bit over sensitive on some of these issues because they are so often misrepresented and then used to justify discrimination against men that have not done the wrong thing.

I think inaccurate perceptions about child sexual abuse make things harder for single dads and their kids and impact on other ways.

I saw a claim recently that Qantas won't allow an adult male to sit next to an unaccompanied child on a flight. Easy to see why they might do so but I personally would find it to be very embarrasing and annoying to be asked to change seats on that basis.

I have not seen Australian stats on the rate of child sexual abuse. A book I've refered to before by feminist author Patricia Pearson - "When She Was Bad" makes the claim that in the US women commit about a quarter of child sexual abuse. If she is correct then men are responsible for the bulk of child sexual abuse but not so much that the issue can't be helped by ensuring that people are aware that it's not just men.

Cheers
R0bert