"Timkins", I didn't call you warped or misogynist... that was you. I was referring to the repetitive twaddle that you post here about the supposed discrimination against men in our society. Personally, I'd rather not speculate about what you are like in person.

Like somebody else said early in this thread, it's not all about you, "Timkins".

Happy, Garra
It is interesting that when I have ever made a posting that has been critical of males, eg http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?article=3299#5622 there has been almost no criticism of myself (although I was once called various names for suggesting that science does not known how the universe was created).

However when I have made criticisms of the female gender, there is almost immediate name calling of myself together with the most minimal of substantiation, and such lack of substantiation is the essence of my posting to this article, which suggests that men are “lost”, “fearful” etc, but the only research that I know of that suggests that men are in such circumstances is research connected to Family Law.

So I would view this article as another bit of media that stereotypes the male gender unfairly and negatively, as there has been minimal research connected to the various statements made about males in this article. There is a lot of that type of media around, and to help substantiate this I refer to one of the very few articles in the media that has looked at the issue of male stereotyping http://www.smh.com.au/news/Opinion/End-of-the-stereotype/2005/04/10/1113071851393.html?oneclick=true

That article in SMH is titled “Everybody loves lazy stereotyping of male roles” and I agree fully with it, and I think that this article by Mark is no different to what is described in that SMH article.

Garra, am so with you on this one about Timkins, who can reference till the cows come home but his thread treads otherwise. Certain facts reveal themselves that we can't deny and they are: men are the overwhelming majority of perpetuators of abuse and violence against women and children. THat is not to deny that women and children do abuse, but stats are stats. This has got a lot to do with our society which has permeated from a patriarchial society. Our legacy, one might say. Women's lib/feminism is the backlash of being a bit sick and tired about it. Which naturally causes an imbalance. So what does one do about it? We can all quote and reference ad nauseum but the only move will come from the ground. Yes, family courts are imbalanced toward the female AT THE MOMENT but the only thing to change that is a groundswell of collectivism from interested parties. That's how things change. At the moment, due to the stats on male violence, society, as reflected by the judicial system will go the female. They may suffer neglect (and all associated problems), but that's the balance at the moment. Whilst I would hate to be a male with paternal interests in this society, i can see why it's come about historically. Women have put up with a heap of imbalances in the past. To address this, just remember "it's not all about you!"

Remember, we are living in quite a big age at the moment, it's big societical change, as well as technological. Some things won't move fast enough for us individuals that matter.

Ambo,

If for you being a man means being responsible, having a good relationship with your ex and your children, as well as a few other women and men we usually call friends, than that’s great. Your newly acquired self-control not to trash houses is admirable, and I don’t mean to demean your achievement in any way. Your lowered expectations will ensure you never again become disappointed or frustrated enough to resort to violence. Nothing but applause from me.

You accept her having custody of your children because “she wasn't the [one] who trashes houses”. Some others on this forum, have never been violent, and still choose to retain their higher expectations (whether beneficial or not to their health). In other words, other men may have different ideas about what it means to be a man.

If I was to take up your challenge and attempt to answer your question, I would firstly say that I see myself as an individual human member of a wider society as well as that of smaller groups and communities. My male perspective is only invoked when some other reference point is introduced, such as females. Talk about families, I think as a male. Mention Family Court, I cannot help but feel male. Quote DV stats, and I shrink as a male at low temperatures.

I think this is not a particularly fun time to be a male (if it ever was). It is difficult for someone who believes in equality of opportunity (but not necessarily, outcomes), and equality of the sexes (but with obvious biological differences), being constantly reminded of contradictory evidence that is hard to ignore.

And furthermore …

It’s a bit like saying we’d all be happier without Timkins to remind us of just how badly we are doing as men. I don’t believe Mark Christensen is claiming we are doing so well either. The only promise to enlightenment, is change – some sort of change. I don’t accept that only men need to change, but men more so, should now expect, … no, collectively demand, certain changes. Perhaps it is like Di says – as I read it – it is a temporary societal imbalance that will eventually reach it’s new equilibrium - if only in readiness to react to the next pressure point with it’s own subsequent readjustment.

Seeker: "Your lowered expectations will ensure you never again become disappointed or frustrated enough to resort to violence"

Not too sure what you mean by 'lowered expectation'. The custody arrangements for my kids was based on a number of issues - not just my single outburst - I was trying to make a point about male violence.

I have achieved good relationships in both my private life and professional life. I sense that you are in fact demeaning my honesty here. Behaving responsibly is necessary for both sexes. Perhaps the question is "what does it mean to be an adult" rather than just a man or for that matter a woman.

Maybe, seeker, you're just a bit jealous that I have achieved some sense of equilibrium in my life which you have yet to attain.