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The Forum > Article Comments > The power of many > Comments

The power of many : Comments

By Bettina Arndt, published 5/1/2023

The stormy ocean confronting men requires all hands on deck

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I've been married 55 years; if I was of marriageable age in 'modern Australia', there is no way I would take on a full time woman. Pay for it when convenient would be my way: no relationship, no kids, no problems.
Posted by ttbn, Thursday, 5 January 2023 1:53:22 PM
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It’s not entirely a them and us issue.

Predominantly it could safely be argued, Mothers inevitably end up carrying the responsibility of raising their own children after a separation.

Family Law Courts the bogey with visitation conditions, and enforcement of visitation orders, which are so poorly enforced that those orders which have been fought for at great expense, are a waste of time and money.

So, what I’m pointing out here is the contest over custody issues are not really part of the gender war, but more so the lopsided outcomes for men are a result of a systemic failure of the justice system.

My opinion on custody issues from years of observation, tick off the trend of women winning the custody right over their children, especially those children of a young age.
But holding children to ransom by lawyers making profits for themselves, needs to stop.
A nasty industry has evolved over years of legal manipulation, which has contributed more to male suicide, with this issue as the cause, than a gender war, which it is not IMO.

There is evidence pointing towards figures of $200k as a cost tag of forcing the court orders for visitation, to actually work as intended.
The non custodian can stand on their head in a corner and sing the last rose of summer, but nothing works towards resolution quicker than spending above this magical figure of $200k.
It’s a merciless rort.

So, is it a gender issue; only to a certain degree yes , but effectively no it isn’t entirely.
Posted by diver dan, Thursday, 5 January 2023 1:58:21 PM
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My father was a street angel and a house devil and like most abusive husbands, dads. Convinced many others that he was the offended party. These abusive men are never at fault, believe they have certain rights and privileges, that wives and children are property. I believe this article is first grade horse shite. Written by an author who invariably takes the bloke's side, probably would have defended my dad who spent time in prison after pleading guilty to raping his own daughters.

He was very good with both feet and fists as I learnt as a lad. and the abuse continued until I floored him one day, whereupon he left me alone and those I defended. Like most abusive men a craven coward picking the weak, small and vulnerable.

That said, there may be cases where the law leans too heavily towards the female and her rights etc. A situation that could be resolved by the covert deployment of currently available, space age, unbeatable lie detection.

But this defender of men would likely reject that, were it available, because that would likely see her proven a gullible fool taken in by conmen of the first water.

How many men turn up in hospital wards beaten black and blue, broken ribs, broken jaws and like my sister needing reconstructive surgery on a face beaten to a pulp because she said, no I'm too tired, to a monster and former member of Nazi youth.
Alan B.
Posted by Alan B., Thursday, 5 January 2023 2:57:47 PM
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Footnote:

I mean she paid for everything, food, electricity, the mortgage, the car, maintenance and running expenses, the kid's clothes etc.

She feed him, bed him, raised his kids, worked her butt off all day at her sewing machine, then tended the yard and garden, did all the housework without any help from that R'sole. While he pissed anything he earned against the wall and bought drinks for his pals propping up the bar every evening.
Alan B.
Posted by Alan B., Thursday, 5 January 2023 3:12:36 PM
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Most men (and women) never face the court system and court orders, even if they separate.
Most separations are amicable.

A bit of wisdom, a bit of communication skills, a bit of humility, a bit of compassion and foresight can do so much more and so much quicker towards easing the situation than giving $200,000 to lawyers.

But what if adversity strikes anyway?

http://truecenterpublishing.com/zenstory/isthatso.html also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyGvB7eqi94
Posted by Yuyutsu, Thursday, 5 January 2023 4:50:14 PM
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Yuyutsu

All divorce settlements, (including de facto separations after the qualifying period), must pass through the family law courts, both antagonist cases and the amicable cases, for ratification of agreements. These agreements include custody arrangements and property settlement.

Not all men afflicted with the horror stories churned out by the family law court, suicide either.
The vast majority soldier on stoically, less $200k if they achieved access to their children.

The parable you linked is interesting only in what it neglects to address.
What matters in terms of the story, is not the welfare of your sage, but the welfare of the parents and child, and the issue of custody of that child, in your parable.

Neither of the speakers addressed the issue. The writer branded the woman a slut for her role in the conception of a child out of wedlock; not acceptable in this day and age, and would rightly be called sexist, since both parties are responsible for conception you’d agree surely.
Posted by diver dan, Thursday, 5 January 2023 8:02:43 PM
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