Waverley

This is the abstract to the research study you link to:

‘Does it matter if there are negative images of men everywhere? Jim Macnamara's book says it does. Overwhelmingly, men are shown on TV and other media as fools, clowns, murders and rapists. Generalisations made about men are often made inaccurately (e.g. "men have all the power") but nobody points out the lack of logic. West supports Macnamara and suggests that it's important to critique these misapprehensions. Men need support and guidance in order to become better men. And boys need strong role models if they are to grow into good, thoughtful men who can in turn become good fathers for their children. We need thoughtful models of both men and women in order to have a balanced, harmonious society.’

Yes, (although overstated) men are often shown as ‘fools, clowns, murderers and rapists’, but there are infinitely more counterbalancing portrayals of men. For example: in film and TV: the cop who nails a serial killer, the good guy whose undying love gives a damaged woman a new start, a corrupt official who finally is brought to justice (by the committed actions of other men), male superheroes who save the world from evil, and on it goes …

And, yes, boys need strong role models. But they also need male role models who do not see women as their inferior servants and playthings. They need male role models who do not view porn’s degradation of women as ‘a male thing’. They need male role models who do not counterproductively over-react to genuine analyses of entrenched, toxic male behaviours, like war glorification.

Much of the rhetoric about boys without male role models is driven by conservative concerns about the breakdown of the nuclear family and the massive increase in single-mother households. However, this should be tempered by the need to ask what is wrong with traditional marriage? Most men do not want to face up to the fact that marriage is a zero-sum game for most women. (But I’m running out of word length. So that’s a topic for another discussion.)

Tony Lavis

Oh, c'mon! You're just doing doing petty tit-for-tat.

CHERFUL

WTF? I understand what you are saying, but are you posting to the right thread?

Killarney

Yes probably posted the Tostee post to the wrong discussion.

sorry.

Tony Lavis:

I am not advising him. I am making an argument as to why his giving advice is illogical. I am saying that if it is not an appropriate thing to do here then obviously it is appropriate somewhere else. If he wants to give advice then it would be logical to do it where it is appropriate.

I am not trying to change his 'approach' but simply pointing out how illogical it is. I am appealing to his sense of reason. Who does not want to be reasonable?

Killarney,
Thanks for a great post.

There are many examples of stereotyping on both sides of the gender cultural divide.

I don't accept your proposition that marriage is a zero-sum game for women. If that is how they view it, then inevitably it will become that, but there's absolutely no need for that to be the case. Most conflict is not violent, yet it can be debilitating for all concerned.

I think we need to work out some way of helping both women and men learn how to negotiate toward best-case outcomes and improve the game a little so outcomes don't sum to zero.