//even you have enough brains to see the parallels in the arguements being put forward.//

You haven't put forward any arguments, runner. You've just waffled on a bit.

I've got an elderly mum suffering from dementia
who's stopped eating. I don't know how much
she's aware of what she's doing because she
doesn't remember anything and is confused.

I don't want her to die. I would have a problem
with her getting assistance to die.
And I'm going to help as much as I can so that
she'll live longer. Perhaps that is selfish of
me. She's not in pain and has no terminal illness.
I feel that she still has a lot of living to do -
letting her grand-children and her great, great
grandchildren get to know her better so I
shall do what I can to ensure that this happens.
Am I wrong?

I don't understand the law against euthanasia. I truly believe that people should be allowed to have choices how and whether they end their lives.

As Toni suggests, proponents of the right for people to make their own decisions about their own deaths are not calling for everyone to knock themselves off if they don't believe in it. If people want to suffer pain or lie in bed in nappies not knowing anything or anyone, until they die, that's up to them. But, they have no business expecting other people to do the same if they don't wish to do so. I am so sick and tired of anti-euthenasia busybodies that I wish them a long, drawn out, agonising death. I would even like to sit by their death beds after the morphine stops working, and ask them how they feel about their pompous, ignorant prating now. You shouldn't listen to crap about palliative care.

Foxy, I am sorry for what your mum and family are going through.
Dementia is a cruel disease.

However, every case is different, so one person's nightmare may be perfectly acceptable to others, so no one can tell you when mum has had enough of this life but her. We sometimes forget that dementia is both a mental and physical disorder.

When I was working in the dementia units, when the person suffering from dementia refuses to eat, you first rule out all physical reasons, eg have them seen by a dentist, ensure they aren't ill with something like a bladder infection or a virus, ensure they aren't constipated, have their swallowing reflex checked by a speech therapist, and ensure they aren't in pain.

Once everything else is ruled out, then ensure they are kept comfortable with medication and sit by them, touching, talking or reading to them, and let nature take its course.

My hope is that one day it will be legal for those who are in their right mind, with a diagnosed terminal illness, and with one or more unrelieved symptoms like pain, vomiting, incontinence or nausea, they should be allowed to request their doctor give them a lethal drug dose at the time and place of their pre-arranged choosing.

Anyone else who doesn't agree with this scenario is most welcome to suffer on to the bitter 'natural' end.

Just following on from the previous post, the attitude and values of the nursing teams on the various shifts matter. Remember that staffing is not always optimal.

All patients and particularly the elderly need a couple of close relatives to look out for their interests and be there to advocate for them as necessary.

Australia is not a world leader in attitudes to and respect for the elderly. It is a cultural thing. Governments cynically fomenting divisions and intergenerational jealousy - covers for lack of planning by government - don't help at all.