indigent outcast progeny of merchant family,
I feel you want a new and accepted life, but only you can achieve that. It is up to your will to decide to act. I had a look at your parents business site. But they cannot change who you are because according to you they have made you as you now are. You must decide to find a fulfilling life away from the things you despise. But be honest about the things you really despise, as I sense you would really like to know the love of your parents.

Can I tell you a story?
Lk. 15:11 - 24 Jesus said: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, `Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.
cont:

So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no-one gave him anything. “When he came to his senses, he said, `How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’

So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ Make me like one of your hired men. “But the father said to his servants, `Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

I can only say I will pray for you.

The only one squandering the wealth is my father. My brother is secure, but frugal, and I have no wealth whatsoever. He is younger than me and has acquired an interest in his business. It is a large business with a heavy annual turnover, but as a proprietary company, there is little information that can be found on ASIC or anywhere about its financial statements. He is a temperamental and intensively secretive man regarding his commercial affairs.

I am not a drug abuser or gambler. I'm not in need of money to blow away on self-destruction.

the tragedy of it all is that while people can meet another partner if they divorce etc you can't replace your family. Money has given them a dysfunctinal sense of power. It is known fact that many rich families use their money to control their children right into adult life. I think of him as a reprobate, and that nothing is capable of changing him as he is cold and has no feeling or empathy for me or anyone else at all.

I will continue doing what I do as long as necessary or until my youth is no longer with me. These should be the best years of my life, with a chance to live in comfort and dignity, receive all of the medical treatment I need [which is worth a fortune and not all in our [in]famous public health system], travel, go to college and have a chance at the same material standard of living enjoyed by all my family.

I must be upfront here about my scepticism about religion. My hopes and at times prayer for their change and reconciliation seem to always go unanswered. Why did I get such a dysfunctional and abusive family? Money certainly does not bestow respectability or decency on them by any means.

Philo our discussion is over. Maybe get off your high horse and go and push for better employment and medical treatment rights for us where you can make a difference to our lives. When its easy for me to get a job and I don't have to risk my life to get money for medical stuff, then I'll hear from you.

Goodbye.

Inner

When I read your posts I cry.

I wish that I could help you.

Sadly I say
Merry Christmas
Kay

Inner

I have been following this thread for some time now. You have a very clear and realistic view of your situation.

I hope you can go to college and achieve results which will enable you to be a part of the mainstream workforce. You current work has hours that fit in well with college hours - if you can keep on going with this type of work - it is very demanding.

You may find at college (or uni) that you can find alternative work. There are support networks there where you will find assistance.

As for your family - none of us get to choose them. The best thing you can do is to take care of yourself - you're the only one you have.

The sex industry is a tough game - legalising brothels has only made it marginally safer. Those who prefer to work for themselves, rather than pay 50% of their earnings to a brothel, (on the street or from their homes) have no protection.

You are aware of all that.

Perhaps a way to start would be a short course through TAFE or somewhere like that. Just take little tiny steps - trying to take on everything all at once can be paralysing. Think only of yourself for the time being.

I know from your posts that you are highly intelligent - I believe you can become the person you want to be.

Kind Regards

Dianne