Joint custody is just mucking children about. More often than not one or both parents move away on a marriage breakdown. It puts children right in the front line of the conflict between two parents. Instead acknowledge that when a couple marry, they marry into his or her familly & in the sad event of a row between parents the children remain in the extended family that they were borne into. Keep the lawyers, psychologists and all theswe other modern day priests out of it and let parents sort it out from that beginning. palmer

First, I really doubt whether 80% of parents with shared care as a result of the changes in 2006 were actually counted. If there is no violence or abuse, and the parties get on and can behave like responsible parents and can cooperate regarding the children, dont live too far apart, and sufficient resources exist, perhaps its a workable solution for many. In other cases the children's grief during separations may be damaging.

I'd hate to have to change homes each week or even more often. I worry therefore that children must find it hard to live between two homes, with probably two sets of rules, and two sets of friends, (let alone different schools etc) and when parents can't agree, have vastly different resources and spread their venom via the children, shared care must be seen to be directly abusive and damaging to the children, even by the most virulent and apparently one-eyed groups who support men's rights over human rights, and their rights over their childrens.

Knowing they have two parents who love them, will guide them, and work in their best interests and act like adults isn't as perfect as the united, happy family model, but equally it isn't about ownership, control, dominance or parental rights, or even living with. Note I am not advocating a return to fatherless homes as various commentators might claim, rather parenting that nurtures and does its job first.

Second, the parents who have been poorly treated by courts and associated processes, and the children who have suffered accordingly because of abuse and violence could be 20% of those canvassed. No doubt there are many who never had their say either in court or in the reviews.

It is this group that need the assistance of the mens groups. How about it? Or are they simply sacrifices to the greater good for men?

If I may continue from *ChazP* by sharing a few facts about my own experience as a child of divorce.

I was born in the Summer of '69 under the constellation of Aquarius.

According to my birth certificate, my biological father did not give me his surname until December '71.

My biological parents were married quite sometime after my birth. Yes, a proper little b_stardio then and even worse now. ;-)

By '75 their brief marriage was on the rocks, their business failed amidst allegations by my biological mother of infidelity, alcohol and drug abuse.

In '76 I was "taken away" by my bio father to the eastern states by plane with a friend of his restraining my hysterical bio mother at the airport.

I was subsequently dumped in the eastern states with the sister of my paternal grandfather and then returned to W.A. courtesy of funds from my new "Step Father" to be, a kindly English man partially named *Dominique St Clair* who despite much later separating with my bio mother, I remain in contact with to this day.

I was seen by a child psychologist at this time, who attended my primary school, being the wife of a friend of my "Step Father."

Upon my bio father's return to Perth there was violence, break ins, verbal hostilities and an ensuing custody battle.

Despite all this, to which my bio father's criminal record attests, my "fool" bio mother continued to grant him access. Suffice to say from my perspective that was a nightmare and he did little other than persecute me psychologically for having feelings for my Step Father He failed to be able to coach me to speak words of falsehood and hatred regarding him that he may incorporate these into his affidavit on a "factual" basis, even though I was only 8. This process may well have scarred me a tad.

A wise judge granted full custody to my bio mother and denied access to my bio father. For a while, all was well.

Then for reasons as of yet not entirely clear to me, as I have not as of yet examined the court file, a new order was made that granted my bio father access every 2nd weekend ( and I note an issue raised in relation to this matter is on the confusion point between shared responsibility and shared custody)

What a NightMare.

An order was also made in relation to maintenance. However, bio father never paid a cent and bio mother never had the werewithall to press her claim past the point of seeking enforcement via "Legal Aid."

Interestingly, I have seen the enforcement order, and a member of the executive was indeed dispatched, but was dismissed with contempt and apparently not further followed up on, and even though this FAMILY COURT ORDER remains live, it is buried under the auspices of the prior legal framework and the unwillingness of my bio mother to see justice done.

I of course will see my bio father legally hung for this in the interests of others primarily, and good sport amusement for my own pleasure as a bonus secondary consideration, if possible at some point in the future, noting however that I am not directly involved in the matter as well as the limitations of australian law.

Of course, had my Step Father being able to easily assume legal responsibility, and I note adoption procedures whilst purporting to do what is primarily is in the best interests of parents, can fail because of the stringency, time and costs involved.

Now that I am a Step Father my Self I know for me to become legally responsible for my Step daughter will take years into the future post migration back to Australia, notwithstanding the wise words of:

DEANE J 5 - 10
Re Cook & Maxwell; Ex parte C [1985] HCA 47; (1985) 156 CLR 249 (1 August 1985)

http://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/sinosrch.cgi?method=title&query=cook+and+maxwell&meta=%2Fau&mask_path=au%2Fcases%2Fcth%2FHCA

All things said and done, I find it difficult to take the australian legal establishment overly seriously.

OMG DreamOn! What a sad story. At least you had a loving stepfather to look up to. I am sure you do the best you can as a stepdad yourself.
Good luck to you.

Unfortunately your story resonates in many households today too. In the rush for gender equality as far as post-relationship breakdowns go, many children are left in intolerable situations such as yours was.

I too am a child of divorce, as the eldest of four children.
Although our father was not physically abusive, he was certainly emotionally and verbally abusive many times.

In those days, if you were 12 or over you could say who you wanted to live with following a divorce, and there was never any question that we wouldn't want to live with mum.
Let the kids speak for themselves I say!

What seems to be the greatest `misunderstanding’ in the Family Courts is the suffering of children who are abused or exposed to domestic violence by parents and the lifetime effects of that abuse. Boys and girls who have been subjected to such abuse often suffer mental illness in their adolescence and have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships. Boys who have been sexually abused, often go on to become abusers, perpetrating sexual abuse in their adolescence and adulthood and so the cycle goes on to the next generation. Girls are more likely to self harm following sexual abuse in childhood and to be further victimised by abusive males. Girls experience depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, psychosis, substance abuse, eating disorders, self harm and suicide. Between 50 – 60% of mental health patients have been sexually or physically abused in their childhood and adolescence. Mothers who have been the victims of domestic abuse have further abuse heaped on them when they are labelled as having Personality Disorders by Family Courts.?.
Many studies show that domestic violence impairs children’s emotional, behavioural and cognitive development. Its effects include anxiety, fear, withdrawal, highly sexualised and aggressive behaviour, reduced educational achievement, failure to acquire social competence, anti-social behaviour, and the use of drugs. Various studies report a range of mental health problems following rape and sexual assault, including post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, somatic symptoms, social phobia, substance abuse and suicide.

They are likely to engage in health risk behaviours such as smoking, alcohol and substance abuse, risky sexual behaviours, eating disorders, sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancies, irritable bowel syndrome, and serious gynaecological problems.

This occurs in ALL social classes and ethnic groups

In the U.K, domestic violence accounts for 25% of all violent crime and 30% of such violence begins and escalates during pregnancy with deliberate attempts to cause miscarriages. In the UK two women a week are killed by their partners or ex-partners.

That is the price which individual children, adults, and society in Australia are paying for the `misunderstandings’ in the Family Courts and the conduct of those `naughty’ lawyers.