Foxy,

What did Jesus say to the guy on the crucifix next to him?

"What a bastard of a way to spend Easter."

Mr O,

No. what Jesus actually said to the guy next to him
on the cross was:

"I can see your house from here!"

And that's not all.

Jesus's last words were:

"I can't believe you guys would cross me."

Foxy,

Your jokes are just 'so yesterday'.

I suggest you pull yourself away from The Wiggles and start watching people like Jerry Seinfeld and Dave Chappelle.

Mr O,

Here's one from Jerry:

One day Jesus was relaxing in Heaven. He happened to
notice a familiar-looking old man. Wondering if the
old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him,

"Did you ever have a son?"

"Yes,"said the old man. "But he wasn't my biological son.
He was born by a miracle,
by the intervention of a magical being
from the Heavens."

" Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to
fight temptation?"

""Oh yes, many times. But he eventually won. Unfortunately he
historically died at one point, but he came back shrtly
afterwards."

"One last question - were you a carpenter?"

"Yes I was."

Jesus rubbed his eyes, "Dad?"

The old man rubbed his eyes and said,

"Pinocchio?"

cont'd :

BTW: I've got the entire Jerry Seinfeld collection
on dvd.

Hi mehaze,

Someone mentioned other gospels, and there are many such text, which are in the possession of the Catholic Church in Rome. The official reason none of these versions are included with the accepted four is the church claims they cannot determine their authenticity. The most controversial is the Gospel of Peter, which attributes Christs crucifixion to Herod Antipas, not Pontius Pilate. The Peter Gospel dates from the time of the four canonical gospels. According to Theodoret of Cyrus the Nazarenes, the very earliest Jewish Christian sect made use of the Gospel of Peter as the Nazarene Gospel, referring to it as the gospel according to the Hebrews.