//How do you keep a large dog in your pocket?//

With considerably more ease than you do a fat, sweaty, rent-a-cop.

Traditionally, Is Mise, large dogs are kept in the yard or house, where they are best placed to protect the property. After all, when a burglars is sneaking up to your backdoor via your backyard, the best place for a large dog is in the backyard. It's no good if you've stuck him in your pocket, then put your trews through the wash, and now the dog has to be dried and straightened out before he'll be of any use.

//Toni Lavis,
And do something//

No, of course not. You wouldn't want to go doing anything about stuff, not when you can sit at your computer and whine about it instead. Imagine if the problem got fixed... what would you have to whine about then?

Although I reckon you'd manage to find something, indy. You are a champion whiner.

Imagine if the problem got fixed.
Toni Lavis,
fat chance of that happening with characters like you around !

Toni I have an alternative suggestion, if one had a trained 'killer budgie' one could keep said 'killer budgie' in ones pocket, at the ready to emerge on command and peck the unsuspecting assailant to death. Even if that assailant is a Jehovah Witness!
I am glad someone mentioned Jehovah Witnesses, I am being harassed by JW's of late. No less than three times in under a week. The other morning at 5am there is this "shady" looking character, shorts, t-shirt and sandals well shady in my opinion, who wears such garb if they do not have criminal intent. The bloke is stuffing pieces of paper in letter boxes, on seeing me he walks my way, in a most threatening manner, in my opinion, the chirpy "good morning, how are you today." did not fool me for a moment, a criminal if I ever saw one! Hands me the paper, an invitation to come to gospel readings at the local JW Kingdom Hall. Obviously a blind to lure me there, so they could shake me down. Then within a day or two, a pair of JW's are knocking on my door, wanting to give me the good news, what bloody good news, had the criminal at my letter box been arrested? No such luck. Then I go up to the shopping centre and in the main street I am again accosted by a pair of loutish looking JW's one a well dressed woman in her 70's and the other a sinister looking chap about 75, in white shirt and tie. They mumbled something about a watch tower. Obviously wanting to lock me up and do me harm in a watch tower.
Fortunately in all cases I was able to release my 'killer budgie' from my pocket, quicker that they could draw their rottweilers from theirs. I say another small victory for the good guys!

I know quite a number of Jehovah Witnesses, they frequently drop in for a yarn etc. At no stage thoughout my life was I ever "harassed". That's just inflammatory & opportunistic hate speech by the insipid in our neighborhoods.
Even though I don't subscribe to religion, I'd say give me a JW anytime over an australian educated Uni graduate.
They're doing far more damage to this Nation than JW's.

Indy, like so many crusty old conservatives you can't see the funny side of anything. How could you have a 'Killer Budgie'. But if you want to get up the nose of a conservative just tell him a joke. You wont get a laugh, he will be too pessimistic for that.

My favourite sister-in-law was a JW, odd beliefs, they can be invasive, but mostly benign. We have only ever had one serious problem with the beliefs of JW's, we won they lost. Tonight I had a yarn with the local Salvo at the RSL, gave me a copy of War Cry to read, and its a good read, I gave him a few bob.