I have been hesitant for a week or two to start this thread, as a close friend of ours in presently in a hospice under palliative care, in the final stages of her life. Our friend has terminal cancer, she has fought a great battle for the past six years, and at only 44 years old of age “K” has not lived, and enjoyed life to the full.
I have nothing but admiration for the medical staff, and others, who have done their very best to treat, and care for our friend. their efforts cannot be questioned. What I do have issue with is the clinical and bureaucratic nature of how the “system of dying” in these circumstances is allowed to run its course, is it necessary? All the medical staff can do is “reassure” the family, her mum and dad included, that they will not allow her to suffer needlessly.
Given the final prognosis last Thursday that “K” has only one week to live, the best the system can offer is reassurance on pain and suffering, and ask her parents if the wish to take her home. The home offer was declined, as mum does not feel she would be capable of looking after her daughter, instead mum and dad are now living at the hospice for the remainder of their daughters life.
I have always believed in properly implemented euthanasia for anyone in these circumstances, their right to die with dignity. .

Paul,

While support to some degree the right to choose one's exit, I don't get any indication from your example that the daughter wanted to exit early?

'..mum and dad are now living at the hospice for the remainder of their daughters life'.

It is K's time. K and her family need space. Make space. That is all.
_________

What are you doing for yourself? Will etc?

I revised my own arrangements earlier this year and strove for simplicity, giving my chosen persons the broadest of powers, to act together or alone and ensuring they understood that was my trust and intention, no guilt, no mind-reading/worrying about what I might have done instead and instructed them to always look out for their own family and care.

Euthanasia is something practiced by a socially advanced society that has respect and dignity as it's cornerstones

Dear Paul,

I feel for your friend and her family.
It must be very difficult for them.
My mother as you know is in a dementia wing
of a nursing home. She's there because she's
unable to function. She can no longer take
care of herself. She's confused and disoriented.
She can still recognise her family visitors,
but her mind is substantially destroyed. She
cannot read, watch television, walk, use a
telephone and she's lost bladder and bowel
continence. She can't dress herself or
transfer from wheelchair to bathroom.

Still, she does look forward to our visits.
And we try to inter-act as much as we can.
I know that things will only get worse - and
it is only a matter of time before we lose her.
What will happen next, I am not sure.
Therefore I can't really say what I would do if
I were in the position that your friends are in
with their daughter. I don't know what I would
do in their situation. I feel that this is
something that few of us really know.

I shall pray for your friend and her family.
May they find the strength they need to see
this through.

God Bless.

Hi All,

What "K" did choose some weeks back was to stop all treatment for her cancer. She had, had enough, years of operations, chemo, ray treatment etc. Nothing had stopped the spread, starting in the bowl and spreading to other organs. Her grandmother died 7 years back in exactly the same circumstance, as did an uncle. The doctors have said it is hereditary. What "K" did opt for was pain relief only. The final stage of pain relief is the severing of the nerves in the spine, To be turned into a "vegetable" was something "K" told the doctor at the hospice she did not want done under any circumstances.
There have been a couple of bureaucratic issues along the way, getting the necessary approval for the use of Medical Cannabis, Something "K" was using at home, but not allowed in the state hospital, although it is approved by both Federal and State governments, its use had not been approved by the hospital's board, for use within the public hospital, strange that one. Then it was approved for use in the hospice. Federal authority was granted in 2 days, but the state bureaucrats in the NSW Health Dept dragged their feet for a week, then only to approve it, and then admitting their was no stock available, it was too late anyway. Last week half the palliative care ward closed in the hospice, the place is $12m in the red for the year, "K" was shifted to a very small room, they have no "family" accommodation in the place, mum is sleeping on a cot with "K" in this bloody small room.
We might think New Zealand is backward, "T"'s sister died in a hospice in the provincial town of Whangarei, pop about 60,000, not long ago. There was a large private room for her, plus an attached family room, with beds and cooking facilities for the whanau/family.