Being a pragmatists I'm generally not given, to matters involving any of life's inexplicable mysteries or anything else that can't be explained by ordinary scientific vindication. Nor am I in any way religious, in fact I'm an atheist!

After completing my six years military engagement. I decided to go on a working trip abroad, travelling to Europe and the UK. While there I met this stunning looking girl and we had a pretty intense relationship for nearly six months, before I needed to return home, this was in 1969/70.

Over the years we kept in quite close touch, mainly via letters and the occasional phone call (the days before computers were available for personal use), but like so many things time, distance and other distractions meant our correspondence slowly diminished as did the frequencies of my phone calls. Until we both simply drifted completely apart, not even birthday or Christmas cards ?

I joined the coppers, married my first wife, and settled down. By this time my beautiful English rose who was a real beauty, still didn't get a thought from this conceited uncivilised oaf, all the while I 'motored' along quite happily, thinking of nobody but myself.

On Friday, *16 September* last, I had this 'dream' or 'nightmare', not sure which, where I again met this lovely girl, only this time in her loungroom, after over a 45 years absence. Naturally we're ebullient with happiness ! As I started to approach her, she suddenly held up both hands as if to stop me, and said forbiddingly; No ! I was utterly confused and disappointed, wondering what it was I'd done to offend her - was she married, her husband home, What ?

I must've then woken up, and didn't think too much more about it, but it lingered in the back of my mind ? Until I decided to track her down, for pure curiosity was all ? So I tried Google firstly; and bingo ! I was stunned to read that she died at home peacefully, surrounded by her family, on Friday *16 September 2016* ?

You are getting into scary territory now o sung wu.

G'evening to you HASBEEN...

Actually, I mentioned my dream to my wife who like me, is a very practical, down to earth type of person that said, she's also deeply religious as well ?

In hindsight I think it's all just a massive coincidence even happenstance as the yanks are so fond of saying. I suppose there are others herein, who may make more of it than I do, I wouldn't like to dismiss their arguments out of hand, to do so would be incredibly naive in the extreme. Yet there are a few others who like me, simply dismiss it as being nothing more but a mere coincidence. I will be honest with you old mate, I found the entire event quite unsettling to say the least ? She would've been in her early eighties when she passed away. She was about five years my senior.

o sung wu,

Ye gods, you have become morose and maudlin of late. Senior years can do that to men.

Nocturnal starvation most likely. You need new company.

Spruce yourself up with plenty of soap and water, new clothes and an up-to-date haircut. Hang on a low or no alcohol drink in one of the many social spots.

There are always plenty of women twenty years younger who are seeking a man who is still interested, enjoys life's simple pleasures and thinks for himself. One who is not afraid of having his own opinions and preferences and will take risks (as if meeting new people and being social is a risk!). Someone who is good company. Being there. -The exact opposite of the superficial, supplicant, metrosexual friends they use to fetch and carry and who are always hypocritical creeps.

Dare to dream. New vistas opening up before you. Dance, or make some go at it.

Our self-imposed limitations are the stuff of nightmares and a life being wasted.

There has never been a day that I haven't been filled with gratitude for being on the green side of the grass. Each day over morning coffee is a new opportunity to measure the splendid works of Nature, people too, around us and feel enormous gratitude for life.

Hey O Sung Wu,
What a curious and interesting thing to happen.
I'm not surprised you're a little bit unsettled by this dream, I would be too I think.
It's hard to think that after 45 years such a thing could be merely a coincidence.

They say twins sometimes have a weird kind of ESP thing going on.
Once, when I was a kid I had de-ja-vu, and saw something happen before it actually happened; it was an insignificant event, but I mention it to you because I could never explain it.
Maybe not everything of this world is well understood or can be easily explained.

They say that your life flashes before your eyes before you go, I'm not sure how true that kind of stuff is, but my mum believes it.
Maybe in that split second moment this 'lovely girl' thought of you and sent out some kind of message out to you.
Maybe she remembered the time you shared fondly and thought of you often before she passed, who knows.

You could get a dream dictionary, or find someone online who studies dreams or these things and who might provide insight on what the dream meant.

On the downside, it's really something else when you have an awesome vivid dream where you're blissfully happy without a care in the world, and then wake up...

Thanks for sharing and if you find out anything more of what it meant, let us all know.
It's not every day that something amazing happens.

Hi O Sung Wu, I have spoken to my partner "T" about your dream, she is an 'Interpreter of Dreams' among other things in her culture. "T" has told me to tell you not to fear, this is in fact a good dream. A message from your love of long ago, a thank you for the pleasure you both enjoyed, a love than never ended, love does not die, in the way the physical body dies, which cannot be a bad thing. "T" is going to "think" more on your dream and reply to you herself. That may take a day, or even a week, but she will get back to you.

Hi there ONTHEBEACH...

Naw, nothing like that ol' mate, I just thought it was one of those unanswerable coincidences that can happen from time to time. I'm far too much of a pragmatists to allow myself to get caught up in all that esoteric stuff, to allow myself to get sidetracked by something like this ?

While it is true I did find the whole event somewhat unsettling, there are far greater unexplainable events that have happened right down through history, for some insignificant fortuity, of this kind to make any kind of impression on me at least.

I might've mentioned a bloke I once locked up in the early '70's, by the name of Archie Beattie McCAFFERTY, who I've characterised as probably the most dangerous individual I've ever dealt with, who's been described by many others, as utterly evil in the true sense of the word ? Now he would bear a much closer examination as far as some supernatural event was concerned I reckon ? Much has been written about Archie, but a 'supernatural' entity or something similar, I don't think so, just a very dangerous homicidal maniac, in my humble opinion.

Hi there ARMCHAIR CRITIC & PAUL1405...

Thanks both of you for your kind and thoughtful observations and remarks, I really do appreciate them. I called my dream 'unsettling' which probably wasn't an especially correct term, as I'm a very pragmatic individual, and generally speaking, anything that appears esoteric or supernatural, is always dismissed out of hand.

I recall my maternal Grandfather mentioning something weird that happened on the Somme, when an entire platoon of Aussie troops, were bombed and gassed out of existence, beyond the wire in 'nomansland'. So much so the Company Commander didn't even bother to dispatch a Section to seek out survivors, as their remains could been seen from the nearest Allied trench.

As the Aussies withdrew a hundred yards or so, and settled into their new trench network, the missing platoon members came along the trench and rejoined the others, who'd just withdrawn from the front ? None of them even bore a scratch, let alone become a casualty ? The world has mysteries abounding, for those who wish to embellish upon them, and those who just like to listen to them ?

Personally, I believe I've both boots securely planted upon terra firma and it would take a great deal of convincing otherwise I should think. Mind you I don't claim to have any answers, in fact as you know Paul I'm not particularly well educated, in fact I came from the school of hard knocks like many of my generation did, in the early 1940's to mid 1950'. But pragmatism is my guideline.

Please convey my profound thanks to your beautiful partner T, PAUL1405. I really do thank her for offering to take the time to interpret my dream. However, it might be best if she simply lets it go, thus allowing me to remain in a state of ignorant oblivion ? Would you kindly do that for me please Paul ? For which I shall thank you in advance if I may.

Thank you gentlemen for your thoughtful views and observations, I really appreciate them.

I often tell religious people that reality is so much more interesting than their mystical explanations. This is one instance where I think the opposite is true.

I had a dream recently that I friended an old friend from primary school on Facebook. When I woke that very morning, I was blown away to see a friend request from them. In Sydney, my mother use to catch the train to work every morning, passing the Granville station on the way. On 18 January 1977, she was running late and missed it by seconds.

There’s a very rational and boring explanation for all this: confirmation bias. We forget all those times that we dreamt about an old friend and didn’t receive a Facebook friend request from them the next morning, just as we forget all those times where we missed the morning train and it didn’t derail.

With so much going on in our lives, and so many billions of people on the planet, what would actually be strange is if co-incidences like these never happened.

This is not uncommon with close family members and persons who you passionately pray for removed by distance. I have heard and experienced for myself many such experiences.

A J PHILIPS...

Your Mother was a very fortunate woman indeed, to evade, purely by happenstance, that awful train disaster at Granville Station. When an incoming train derailed and smashed into the concrete overhead bridge bringing it down, on top of one of the carriages, killing and injuring many people.

There were several hero's, among the firefighters, police and Ambo's on the day, who spent many very dangerous hours trying vainly to extricate trapped and injured people, who surely would've perished without their bravery. I'm very glad to hear that your Mother was running late for her train, on the morning of the 18 January 1977.

On this occasion, and on this precise topic, I tend to agree with you when it comes to occurrences and events similar to this, that are currently under discussion. It simply comes down to, pure coincidence, fate and serendipity - and nothing more, in my opinion.

o sung wu,

I was a little tongue in cheek as you rightly understood. :)

Having seen numerous men, too many for coincidence and an increasing number of older women (which is a concerning change for all seniors) treated rather shabbily by Government and in health delivery too, seniors really need trustworthy souls in their life and other men especially, to show interest. They are continually being told that they are in the way. They should die ASAP and hand over their assets apparently.

That doesn't refer to the selfish, egocentric types who have always demanded sympathy and likely have led privileged, comfortable lives and still do.

Anyhow, don't let anything get to you. Nil carborundum and so on. I meant it about just rocking out and getting involved.

You raised the very interesting matter of how deeply we are affected by early loves that they can become haunting memories. It isn't simply the sadness of lost youth.

Anyway, travel well in life and know that other men do care.

For many men who might feel alone and wanting social contact, somewhere to share their problems and make friends 'The Australian Men’s Shed Association' maybe of interest, and its obligation free with coverage Australia wide. With a growing older population some need assistance, although not for everybody, there are organisations which cater for older Australians including men.
In my own case I am "blessed" to have an over abundance of family and friends, particularly the huge extended family of the love of my life, people who have never treated me as different or as an outsider and include me in everything.
I came across an old bloke some time ago, who leaves home at 7am everyday of the week and arrives back home at 7 or 8pm. What does he do all day? Rides on public transport, and he's not the only one, has almost no social contact, but is thankful for the $2.50 pension ticket. Living in Sydney, with its millions, unfortunately there are many older people, who have become completely cut off from the rest of society, and live very empty lives.

http://mensshed.org/

That's a good suggestion, Paul. Far too many older blokes tend to pull into their shell when they have a heap to offer. The world may be changing rapidly, but people are still people.

O Sung Wu, no doubt you've heard the expression "correlation is not causation". It's a great thing to keep in mind when our ever-active monkey mind notices things that seem to be linked. However, it's not the whole story. Every single advance in science and other branches of knowledge has been brought about by somebody noticing a correlation or coincidence and trying to work out what it means. Every single one, even the most esoteric discoveries like quantum mechanics and relativity. Some people notice them more than others, but I think we can all be trained to be better observers. Your time in the police must have had a big impact on your own powers of observation!

The famous mathematician John Nash, who I believe was one of the greatest minds of the 20th century, was sent slightly mad for a time because he noticed so many coincidences he couldn't explain and was diagnosed with schizophrenia, although I'm not sure that was really justified. He was simply a man who lived too much in his mind for too long and struggled to maintain the "grounding" that your pragmatism gives you.

Long may you (and all of us!) continue to wonder at life's mysteries.

The suggestion of retired and slightly disabled men being involved in a Men's shed is an excellent program. Being on the management of one myself I see the social benefits it provides for men. Their experiences and their comradeship are invaluable in encouraging men who may live alone. Men get to share and hear the stories of others, especially over morning tea. Our shed has a wide variety of in house and outside activities, from toy and fine furniture making and restoration, gardening, engineering and welding, involvement in community projects, hiking, ten pin bowling, kayaking, fishing and many others.

'afternoon to you ONTHEBEACH, PAUL1405, JOSEPHUS & CRAIG MINNS...

Wow, what a truly kind group of blokes you all are ! Indeed I've heard of the 'Mens Sheds' a fantastic idea for those who have plenty of time to engage in community projects, not unlike the Lions Clubs or Rotary, even the University of the third Age, and many other organisations of a similar ilk ?

I truly appreciate all your kindness and the many suggestions that accompanied that kindness, but I'm really quite OK, though I did hit a rough patch awhile ago, but survived despite of it. I guess we all have 'some' issues of loneliness, to a greater or lesser degree, otherwise why would many of us spend so much time on OLO or the Forum?

Loneliness, how do we define it ? I have a great wife; and family; a fairly active social life, that's greatly limited by my locomotion; a thoroughly demanding, but slightly neglected hobby (Numismatics). But I do have one serious foible - I very much like my own company, sometimes avoiding phone calls when a mate rings etc. I dislike (some) social activities. So gentlemen, I'm relatively OK socially I suppose, but I do enjoy my own company ?

That said, I live a contented and gratified lifestyle where my wife and I share our lives fruitfully together, and loneliness would not be an 'adjective' that could foreseeably, ever pass our collective lips I should think ?

ONTHEBEACH; PAUL1405, JOSEPHUS; & CRAIG MINNS, The overt altruism and concern shown by you four, is so very gratifying. In fact I'm astonished at the number of really nice folk who're regular contributors to the Site, as exemplified by the four of you gentlemen. Thank you all very much indeed for that kindness !