NathanJ,

Maybe refer to the health reports (Qld example),

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/rats-roaches-found-in-brisbanes-filthiest-restaurants-20150420-1mpaoi.html

From your opening post, the presenting problem has little to do with cooking or 'racism' and more to do with difficulties in relating to others. That does not refer to you exclusively. However you can only work on you and that is your responsibility. For starters, disagreement is OK isn't it?

Engaging with your loved ones, having conversations with them and building relationships is what you should be talking about and reflecting on.

I had a "raciest" experience recently myself. We were in Fiji with its 50/50 Indian/Fijian population. One afternoon we were catching the 'Suva Express', the public bus which starts in Lautoka and runs all the way to Suva we were going from Nadi to Sigatoka, about an hours trip costs $5 Fijian, Europeans don't normally catch the local buses all that much, we have caught that bus many times.
At the Nandi terminal I went up to the ticket kiosk to buy 2 tickets, it was very busy that afternoon, several local people in front of me bought tickets, but when it came to me the Indian ticket seller said "buy your tickets on the bus" I didn't think much of it, then he sold tickets to the locals after me. A big Fijian near by marched over and said "Sell this man his tickets you bloody raciest, he was in front!" Got my tickets.
Why? The Fijian told me, this bus when it arrives in Nandi is going to be near packed, only those with tickets are going to have any chance of getting on, some with tickets, and all those without have no chance and will have to wait over an hour for the next bus. Then he took us to the front of the line, said bus I will stop here, we be first on. he was right. he was a local copper off duty, on his way to Suva. I said "whats the go?" you your lady, maybe over 60, yes, he gotta show respect!" "Not caz you white, caz your older,"

Many people have asked me about the big Indian population in Fiji and what do I think of them, well they are different people to the locals, but in general I like them as much as the indigenous Fijians, I never have found a great deal of animosity between the two. Two of our best Fijian friends are Indians, great warm heart'd people, doing a ship load of work for local indigenous and Indian kids.

cont

cont
Funny, an Aussie couple we met on our way back, got sick from a pizza they ate at their 5 star resort. We ate in some, well, places many Australians would turn their noses up at, and we have never been sick once.
Although an Indian did invite us once to his brothers "restaurant" up the back streets. His brother was standing there in, I must say a very clean white shirt. My partner "T" standing beside me was saying as she looked around "paru, paru" brother asked what she say? I replied "Ah..., she is saying in Maori, ah..., very nice, very nice." His wife did cook us a lovely fish, didn't get sick. paru = dirty.

I think that we are all to one extent or another in the same boat all across the world in that largely what goes in is what comes out.

One of my Grannies was a nurse in the times of splintered bones and rent flesh. She'd roll in to the kitchen when I was a nipper and fire up straight out with cries of "Cover that food! Cover that food!"

I could go on, but point being was that not everyone was brought up learning the same lessons and consequently, we have different values and there is a great range of variance in that difference.

And of course, some times these values stand diametrically opposed to another, do they not?

Thereafter however, I don't think that it necessarily follows that it always wrong to point out that there is difference except, if in pointing out the difference one also seeks to belittle, demean or the like. That would then add weight to the argument that such behaviour could be considered as "racist."

Worse still, it is when one person or group of people in pointing out difference take it also upon themselves to judge themselves superior, and in so doing also consider that it is right for the superior to "predate" in some form upon the "inferior."

..

Now, about water dunnies you grotty and daggy smeary bums.

Following hanging ones draws high in the wet area, assuming the position and deed being done, water splashes from a long handle, mini bucket can deal with any chunky residue, and then, a gentle antiseptic bubble hand of soup will (when repeated after rinsing) make you clean, clean, ever so clean.

Relatively speaking, as filthy as some Indians maybe considered by some compared to us, we are still quite "filthy mongrels" to the Japanese I assure you.

And of course, in free water countries not only does a water dunny leave you cleaner, but it is whole lot cheaper compared to all those gold coins going down along with my fancy Air Weave bog roll for sensitive bot-bots.

;-)

Dream On,

"a gentle antiseptic bubble hand of soup will (when repeated after rinsing) make you clean, clean, ever so clean."

I do so hope that that was a typo!!

*Is Mise*

Might be an idea to make sure you take your nail clippers along next time you travel overseas. Then, just in case you miss with the water splash, ... "