How to tell the difference between apples and pears:

Really? Do you guys honestly need a chef to teach you this stuff? Figure it out for yourselves.

Tony's Cooking Tip Number One:

The best bolognese is made with the leanest mince available, stewed for hours over a low heat.

Tony's Tip: Use kangaroo mince, because it is naturally low in fat. It also adds a nice meaty flavour to your bolognese, a sauce that can often be overpowered by the flavour of tomato.

Bolognese with minced Victorian Sambar venison, pancetta, mushrooms and red wine is not too shabby either. Glasses of red for the cook and helpers.

Goat leg recipes next, or rabbit? Oregano, chorizo, white wine, yum.

I saw Heston demonstrate a good bolognese trick on TV the other night, brown the meat and cook it in the tomato base then simmer the vegetable ragout and fry it in olive oil before combining the two pots, I'm yet to try it but he reckons it concentrates all the flavours.

My favorite mix is 50/50 lean beef and fattier pork mince.

Fry it until it's almost burnt, then add tomatoes, herbs, galic, onion etc.

The real bolognaise sauce it actually quite tasteless because I've had it in the town in Italy where it originated from, I was so looking forward to trying real lasagna, but was so disappointed in the end.

I guess it's a bit like Chinese food, where the real thing in China is said to be rather bland.

"Really? Do you guys honestly need a chef to teach you this stuff? Figure it out for yourselves."

That is too difficult for some people... don't you care about believers in Breatharianism? And I’m referring to true followers of Inedia, not the fancy new-age ones who think a scented candle is a condiment!

Some may scoff at the concept but at least there is no washing up.

Come to think about it, if a Breatharian dies of a hunger-strike did they starve or suffocate?

Wm Trevor, "Come to think about it, if a Breatharian dies of a hunger-strike did they starve or suffocate?"

I don't know.

However the cobwebs at the lower end of his alimentary canal should indicate something to the pathologist conducting the post-mortem.