"I guess it's a bit like Chinese food, where the real thing in China is said to be rather bland."

I think you might me on to something there - certainly a lot of so called Italian food is a a combination (definitely not a fusion: I hate that word when it is applied outside of nuclear physics) of Italian ideas and French techniques.

"don't you care about believers in Breatharianism?"

Frankly, no. But they are easier to cater for than vegans, so I should think Inedia should be encouraged within the gullible classes. I like to think of it as 'practical Darwinism'.

"if a Breatharian dies of a hunger-strike did they starve or suffocate?"

Is this a Zen koan?

"Is this a Zen koan?"

Rumbled...

As Master Po told Kwai Chang Caine, "The present is rooted in the past. It is through these roots we draw nourishment and strength."

But I am malnourished and rely upon fading memory as I have not been rooted for years...

My uncle had always had someone to cook for him and took no interest in how it was prepared. In his later years his wife was very ill in bed and she wondered what on earth he could cook for her. In the end she decided there was no way he could stuff up a boiled egg. He disappeared into the kitchen and about half an hour later came back and said to his wife "I'm sorry but I have boiled and boiled this egg but it is still not soft".

On the same theme is the well know recipe for cockatoo, boil in pan with rock until rock is tender then throw away cockatoo and eat rock.

Talking about well-known recipes - here's
one gleaned from the web for those of you who
like eating native Australian animals (like
kangaroo):

EMU:

Emu actually has a few times the iron content of beef.
It's virtually fat-free and is low in cholesterol.

The Australian native animal works well smoked and
served cold or as a pizza topping.

For a modern gourmet twist have it in a pie made up of
emu meat, smoked emu, feta cheese, red-wine, sun-dried
tomato, onion and Tasmanian black pepper - all in a
filo-pastry crust.

Get it: The Australian Heritage Hotel
The Rocks.

You're not allowed to throw things at apprentices any more, but you can still have some fun.

Tony's Cooking Tip Number Two: How to (not) Make a Steam Sauce

Step 1: Find a gullible apprentice. Tell him to whip you up a basic sabayon.

Step 2: Have your apprentice stand next to bain marie, with sabayon and whisk in hand. Tell him that a good steam sauce takes a lot of work to whisk the steam in and you'll be keeping an eye on it to make sure it's done.

Step 3: Check in periodically and say 'Nope, needs more steam'.

Step 4: On your final check say 'Whoah, too much steam... take some out'. Then fall about laughing.

Step 5: Use the sabayon for something useful like bearnaise sauce. Mmmm, bearnaise sauce.... so artery-cloggingly delicious.

French sauces, yum.

Eye fillet rubbed with pepper, baked stuffed potatoes and Bearnaise sauce (sneak in a few drops of Tabasco). Fresh caught, roasted Barramundi as another choice.

Later, relax in front of the fire with steaming coffee and Hennessy VS Cognac.