platypus1900,

The simple answer you might prefer?

Those raised where the extended family is valued and useful are likely to want to continue it and take care of their folks.

There are many pressures on the family. Both sides of the parliament pay lip service to supporting the family. Arguably one side is far less disposed to support and is usually working against it, call that 'Progressivism' aka international socialism, which promotes the State as carer.

@otb

yes...good post and fair comments

allow me to elaborate
i am not advocating big extended family living in a giant mansion

surely every family have their own dynamics

what i would like us to do is to reexamine the issue of looking after our aged parents
must we all be left with no choice but loneliness and solitude in the last few years of our lives?
is that what we want
is that what we want for our parents who loved us and looked after us for the first 20 years or so of our lives?

surely there is one child out of the few, who will have what it takes to look after grandpa and grandma?

i just dont think it is right ( barring those exceptions listed earlier)

the State is cold ...the State is not family

platypus1900, "i am not advocating big extended family living in a giant mansion"

I know.

The culture has changed as a result of the perfect storm of social and economic influences.

If you look at the older homes around (and they were homes not just houses) you will see how almost all were added to over time with closed in verandas for example to accommodate other members of family when they first married and ere getting their stake, were displaced from work or injured, got old or whatever. Those small workers cottages housed extended families.

Of course everyone values space, but your point is that in many circumstances there is more than adequate space, so why not share? Because some people, more now than ever before, are egocentric, materialistic and selfish that's why.

Things have changed and the prevailing attitude these days is to tip the old buggers out of their homes to get the asset. If Soylent green was available there are some who would be proposing it for their relatives.

There is also a host of greedy entrepreneurs waiting to redevelop those inner 'burbs for hipsters and trendies, and other entrepreneurs leaning on government to diminish standards so that they can sell tiny shoe boxes in slums of the future to the displaced elderly. Re-developed caravan parks (or at least the redeveloped concept) are caught up in that.

Seniors must become less reliant on others to develop options and put their case for them. First they must redefine aging. Obviously it isn't a park bench for most.

Frankly I will be interested to observe how some of the anti-child, anti-family and anti'him' (and his relatives) proponents (most know the sort), get on after they have lost their work environment.

You reap what you sow I guess. Although there will also be reaping of what others have sown for them, but they (the mainstream) were too apathetic to raise objections to at the time.

I am somewhat wary of sweeping statements and
generalisations, they're often signs of irrational,
inflexible attitudes especially when focused towards
an entire category of people. Generalisations tend
to ignore the differences between individuals and
the particular circumstances involved. We don't all
have the same set of circumstances when it comes to
our elderly parents. Many factors are usually involved and
must be considered on each individual basis.

Yes of course we need to pay more attention to the way our
elderly are treated in our society. We need to educate people
against the belief that one age category is in some
respects inferior to other age categories and that unequal
treatment of them is therefore somehow justified.
We have to try to educate people against - ageism - which is
an ideology which takes no account of individual differences,
and instead treats all old people as though age were their
single most important characteristic.

We've had two sets of parents to look after and we
did for as long as we could. My mother-in-law had
alzheimers, she's now passed away. My elderly, frail
mother, has dementia and she is now in an aged-care
facility.

She lived with us for as long as she could
however when she became very frail and
needed care 24/7 - we had to place her
into a facility where that care could be provided for her.
She could not be trusted to be left alone and as we were
both working full-time - leaving her alone was not an option.
However, she is in an excellent facility - we visit her
regularly. I ring her several times a day.
We also take her out, have her at our place for dinner,
and all family occasions, including -
Christmas/Easter, Birthdays, she's fully involved in our
family life. Her grand-children visit her as well. She is
not in any way neglected.

And, from the people we have met with elderly parents -
nearly all are just as caring as far as their families
are concerned.

@otb

thks for your post
i enjoyed reading it
solyent green huh?...you are not young then... :)

my point is not just sharing of space
my emphasis is duty and love for our aged parents...to look after them in the sunset of their lives

advocates of free speech, rights of individuals, rights to live for convicted murdurers.... , should seriously search their hearts when they do not

a. support the rights of an innocent unborn human child
b. even want to look after their aged parent

yes?...no?

@foxy

posts like these in this forum will to a certain extent be generalizations
we can deal with exceptions as and when they are raised

your category falls under the "aged sick" group

you mentioned you looked after your mother and in-laws as long as you could until they got to be old and sick and needed special care
and you mentioned you call your dear mother a few times a day

foxy... you are a good person
my apologies if i made you feel bad
you are NOT the group i am referring to

on aged sick, i told my late mother
even when she is very old and sick, we will look after her
i told her we would get get a full time carer for her
but i did tell her if it becomes too difficult when she gets very sick, we will have no choice but to put her in an aged sick facility where the doctors and nurses and medical eqpt are readily at hand

btw, my mother spent the last 3 weeks of her life in the hospital
she lost 1.5 of her lungs due to CA and she was in the last days of her life
during those times, at least one member of the family was with her on a 24 hours basis

my grown up and married children has no problems taking care of us when we are older

i guess that is what role modelling is all about
that is what values are all about
and hopefully , it spreads and becomes our culture...again