Now common blokes...when was the last time you took your stunning lady out for a romantic night out....do you even remember how to catch that gem...

Your thoughts

Planet3

This is no doubt a frivolous thread because "romance" is a frivolous concept, the answer would be "never" because my wife and I get along really well all the time.
What's "that gem"? Are you trying to say that over time we lose the knack of attracting women? I never had it in the first place and women as a rule don't like me, yes, I'm married but apart from my wife (upon whom I made the initial advances)I've never had a woman flirt or "Hit On" me in my whole life.
"Romance" is for sappy Beta males and "pussy beggars", the name of the game is seduction, real men learn how to maintain constant sexual tension with their partner by getting to know the female mind and which buttons to push based on their partner's individual personality.

....Romance" is for sappy Beta males and "pussy beggars", the name of the game is seduction, real men learn how to maintain constant sexual tension with their partner by getting to know the female mind and which buttons to push based on their partner's individual personality.

Jay if could put that into a book you would make a fortune, 'how to read a woman's mind' lol.

The simple truth is women and men are different. The problems often occur when women try to be men and men try to be women.

For me life as a married man is all about mutual respect and trust. If you don't trust your partner, chances are you can't be trusted yourself.

Our goal 30 odd years ago was to be successful parents and I said to my wife of 28 years recently, given our kids are now adults, and they love us both dearly and love spending time with us, we have succeeded as parents and therefore achieved our goal.

It didn't happen accidentally as I was the primary income producer and my wife was the primary care giver. A perfect partnership in my books. And it was built on lobe, trust and mutual respect, with the odd bumpy sections along the way.

Dear Planet3,

A wise person once stated:

"What can I give this beautiful new generation?
The unwanted gift of my experience?
I don't think so -
Perhaps only the right to make the same mistakes
and afterward not saying,
"I told you so!"

I've given these thoughts on this forum previously.
I hope no one will mind my doing so again.
I think they fit this thread - here goes:

"I am grateful for the hug I got to give my father
just before sailing for America. Dad died while
I was overseas.

I am grateful and proud of my family, the way we look
out for each other. I think of the love and pride I feel
for my brothers, the peace I feel in my mother's presence.
We're open about needing each other. She needs a daughter
and I need a mum - and I can take pleasure in telling
her of my affection. I know this time she won't be
counting.

My mum has been my biggest booster, I hers. I marvel at the
capability with which she's organised her life. "Will you
look at my mother," I think. "What a beautiful woman. What
a knockout!"

I'm grateful for the miracle of my marriage. That we managed
to find each other. That we get to begin our days
together, share our lives together, respect each other,
support each other, and let the other be. To discover the
joy of living with a lover and a friend. Sometimes, coming
home at the end of a day, I worry that as in a dream it will all
have disappeared. We should take nothing for granted.

You know the Aztecs were terrified each night when the sun
set that it would not rise again the next morning. They were
grateful for every dawn.

It takes a long time to become a person. Longer than they
tell you. Longer that I thought. I am grateful for my past,
it has given me the present. I want to do well by the
future."

For a short while this morning, my list of topics had the following as consecutive headlines:

"Women are what they are"
"So what's wrong with sending them back?"

Thanks for the involuntary chuckle, guys.

I'm too fabulous to be trapped by Planet3's clever ploy for posters to self-denigrate by replying to the opening invite...

"Now common blokes..."

I too struggled to find a reason to comment.
Would be the first to open door step aside and nearly be killed by a mad rushing rude thing!
It is quite a problem for Some women being what they are.
Even more for the house maid cooking ironing cleaning being on call for anything approaching work.
And trying to tell himself he is still the man of the house!
Know him well pity him too.

WmTrevor...Iam not gay you freak:-/....lol....and even if I saw, by the sounds of you...No self respecting poof would have ya:).....The post is about a study globally taken last year on which men around the planet of who is the most romantic....Just have a wild guess where Australia came in...I think the girls should be able to answer that one...so ladies, do we Australian men have the right stuff?

or is the study right:)

Just have some fun with it....cause some of you sad-sacks around here could do with some:)

Planet3

Dear Planet3,

You ask:

Do Australian men have the right stuff?

The ones we know definitely do.

Below is one of the Readings taken from my niece's
wedding:

"Happiness in marriage is not
something that just happens. A great marriage
must be created. In the Art of Marriage: the
little things are the big ones. It's never being
to old to hold hands. It's never going to sleep
angry. It is at no time taking the other for
granted. It's having a mutual sense of values and
common objectives. It is forming a circle of love
that gathers in the whole family. It's doing things
for each other not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy. It's speaking words of
appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful
ways. It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding, and a sense of humour. It is having the
capacity to forgive and grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a
common search for the good and the beautiful. It is
establishing a relationship in which the independence is
equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is
being the right partner."

Those were the things that were taught by our parents -
and they were the things that were passed onto our children.
And - those are the things that still work for all of us today.

Do Australian men have the right stuff?
I don't know for sure because I married an Irishman : )

I do think my brothers have the right stuff though.
They both treat their wives very well.
They didn't get that from our Aussie dad though!

Foxy, you sound like a true romantic, which I am not usually.
A woman is what I am!

"Women are what they are"

The Americanisation of romance and relationships continues unabated. Led by Hollywood, women's mags, advertisers and sundry 'experts', all women.

Aussie bridezillas, romantic consumerism...Add by all means, that is enough from me.

A firm 'Yes' to romance, but not the sort of romance imported from the US, and definitely not the Canadian version of their US import, and Oz is following in Canada's footsteps :(

Planet3 I am far from a woman hater the exact opposite in fact.
My post was a true thought it carried concerns SOME women want to take the man out of their man.
Such women could repel rain! they do so for me.
I see no benefit in again airing such unpopular views.
'Only trouble.
So for civility's sake leave and hope the thread gets interesting.

Dear Suse,

Women are what they are. As are men.
And each of us have our individual differences.
(To be sure).

I am fortunate to have found a grown man who
was capable of loving fully, with all of his heart.
The most vital, playful, joyful human being, with
an energetic life force born of a strong family
upbringing. His honesty, devotion, and unconditional
love bind us together in an inseparable state of
familial bliss that's been unshaken to this day.
I'm very lucky.

Foxy, Tuesday, 24 November 2009 7:26:24 PM
http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3251&page=3

Foxy, Saturday, 11 September 2010 4:49:59 PM
http://forum.onlineopinion.com.au/thread.asp?discussion=3960

Maybe over-egging it a bit?

Meanwhile, back in the real world the better advice is that the "The One" truly wonderful partner doesn't exist. We should be expecting to maintain a large measure of our own individual space and interests. We are all the better partners for being adult and for maintaining some separate life, friends, finance/assets (structure accordingly).

My partner and I will always be courting each other. There is always freshness. Because we do not demand to be joined at the hip. We are separate and we are together by choice - a choice made daily and accepting the sometimes large areas of difference.

A Word to Husbands:

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up.

(Ogden Nash).

I have known a few women. I've known those who wanted a father figure, & those who wanted a father/provider for the kids they wanted to have.

I have known those who really only wanted someone to love, & those who only wanted to be loved. I've also known some who loved nothing but themselves, & only wanted to be admired. They're the ones who make plastic surgeons rich.

However a woman, once she is a mother, is a mother, first, middle & last. Any man who expects anything else is in for disappointment. She may criticise them occasionally, but don't you dare agree with her on that, or you'll be the worst in the world.

Foxy, my mother told me that a really good marriage/relationship was one where two people spent their entire time trying to make the other happy. I think perhaps she & dad achieved this, late in their lives, but they had hit a lot of rocks getting there.

I have not seen it elsewhere, & I'm afraid I don't expect to.

It has taken me over 50 years to even start to understand anything of women. Pity it took so long that I am now such a crotchety old bugger, I can't take much advantage of it

Dear Hassie,

To me you Hassie are not an old crotchety
man. From the time that we've shared cyberspace
I've found you to be a very decent, caring, human
being, who loves his family very, very, much and who
has a great deal of wisdom to pass on to the rest of
us. We may not always agree - but your opinions always
gives me food for thought.

As far as marriages are concerned. Of course happiness
in marriage is not something that just happens and good
marriages must be created. As the Reading I cited
earlier stated ( read at my niece's wedding).
It's about establishing a relationship
in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual
and the obligation is reciprocal. It's not only marrying
the right partner, it is being the right partner.
My husband and I have had our ups and downs (who hasn't?),
but we've come out of it - stronger as a result.

One of my favourite quotes comes from Mark Twain who wrote:

"I cannot promise you a life of sunshine;
I cannot promise riches, wealth or gold;
I cannot promise you an easy pathway
That leads away from change or growing old.

But I can promise all my heart's devotion
A smile to chase away your tears of sorrow;
A love that's ever true and ever growing;
A hand to hold in yours through each tomorrow."

I don't know how I would have coped without my husband's
love and support when I was diagnosed with cancer a few
years ago. The fact that he stood by me through it all
made the world of difference. And just the fact that I wasn't
alone made a world of difference.

Women don't know what they want.

One thing for certain though is that any who believe that the world spins around them will be controlling and dependent, and that affects the development of children as well as making life miserable for their partners.

Men do themselves and their prospective children no favours by getting into bed with women who need to be babied or treated with kid gloves. Of course there are equally obnoxious men, but this thread concerns women. The whole idea of having to stay on the 'right' side of the fiery little Aussie battleaxe indoors (a carbon copy of her US model seen in soaps, mags and on idiotic daytime talk shows) is the pits and rewards negative behaviour. Just leave and learn. Or better, give the big swerve first off.

One of the unexpected negative consequences of social change wrought by feminists, and particularly those who infest the self-titled 'Progressives' is the phenomenal growth in the number of single women. Feminists have taken the easy way out, explaining the large rump of single women as being the preference of women (including the lesbian option), but more the fault of men whom they say cannot accept changed 'gender' roles and lack 'commitment'. Strange rationalisations from feminists and 'Progressives' who would prefer to trash marriage anyhow - except for 'gay' marriage, which apparently is ideal (don't mention the lesbians!).

continued..

If there is a silver lining in the challenges of heterosexual marriage it is the opportunity for some real, fundamental discussion about the marriage contract and family law, which feminist-inspired policy has made one-sided (and men are expressing that with their feet), and secondly, the unpreparedness of many women for marriage. The last mentioned is not as simple as the marriage 'education' some might recommend in return.

It goes without saying that marriage or a 'child' is not going to make a sorry life better, and any who demand that their luckless husbands make up for all that is lacking in their lives will always be unhappy and constantly carping against men.

I do not oppose women's fantasies about romance, now over-laid with 'relationship' expectations that are even more single-sided and impractical. However if women have a tin ear to men and do not let them into the debate about 'relationships' and marriage, they can expect that men will continue to walk away. Do they 'lack commitment', or is it all unrealistic and a bad deal anyhow?

There is romance and romance. The US construct favoured by many Aussie women is the pits.

Well some very interesting posts I must say....well Australian blokes get the green flag...well done lads...and have to say....its bloody true:)....http://tinyurl.com/mxbg2eb

....and I bet you blokes thought you were in the bad books.....Yee of little faith:)

Planet3

Dear Planet3,

Here's something from another perspective:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-493055/1-000-terrible-things-Australian-men-said-women.html

Foxy, "Here's something from another perspective"

Meanwhile, back in the swamp the spiteful old feminist salties are still trying to make $$ and careers out of their gender war. Well it DID work for forty years, right?

However, ex-PM Julia Whatshername rode the gender war bandwagon so often and so hard its wheels finally fell off.

It is so last century.

Insight from Alice Cooper:

"But you and me ain't no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
Some lovin',
And TV.
And that's enough for a workin' man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
Well that's enough for me."

All I can add is, if the ladies want attention....be alluring....the lack of alluring is what sends men to other women who are obviously more alluring than the one at home. The marketers have sold the myth that man should bestow objects on women to gain their favours....but evolution has dictated the rules of the game.

Why did evolution get rid of beards on females,....to make females alluring to blokes. The women were charged with keeping their reasonably hairless form alluring....but most don’t these days. The women of the generation I grew up with wouldn’t even go to the shops for the “messages” as it was called back then without putting on a face.....Nah you girls should be showering us with gifts to make up for the poor effort you put into being alluring.

The amazing thing is that women I have known pre their divorce were not alluring.....After the divorce they tart themselves up and off they go again....they become alluring again....it’s like presenting the best bait to the poor old fish lol.

Men don’t have to be alluring, just clean and groomed....their job is simply to chase the allure....

Dear SOG,

Perhaps you need to find some more attractive friends?

There are men who aspire to rapier wit, while others
use a blunderbuss. These are usually men who live
in the "good old days" where you were considered a good guy
if you lifted your feet while "she" did the
vacuuming." You know the type of over-zealous bloggers
whacking pronouncements into their keyboards with
their firm boring repetitive beliefs.

That's the price we pay for free speech, after all.

Foxy my dear, I have said it before and I will state it again...you girls have it all over the top of we mere males in a multitude of fashions starting with the size of your corpus collosum.

There is no “put another log on the fire” thought process to my “allure” observations.....women were more feminine 50 years ago than now. I blame the bloody hippies and the earth mother movements. I grew up amongst possibly the first new age women’s movement of the 1960’s here in Sydney....feminine is not what those girls were about.

I feel like the character in Life of Brian who was being stoned for blasphemy simply because he said to his wife “that piece of fish was good enough for Jehovah”.

I simply ask for feminine to be feminine....if the girls don’t want feminine....lets step outside and sort this out like men...lol...

Dear SOG,

Today there are vast individual differences in the
way men and women look at each other and interact.
This is to be expected in a post-industrial society
whose hallmarks are choice and diversity.
Yet despite these differences and despite the many
changes of recent years, there seems to be - still
some consensus about what "masculinity" and "femininity"
involve.

What you seem to be saying is that you want women
today to place more emphasis on physical appearance
and to pay attention to diet, make-up, and clothing.
That part of their "allure" is how they look.
Fair enough. Whatever rocks your boat.

But be assured that -

Most women I know do take pride in their appearance,
especially their fitness. And this,
- despite the fact that they
find pursuing the rigors of their careers,
maintaining intimate relationships, and raising
children, are no easy things to balance

Foxy, "Today there are vast individual differences in the way men and women look at each other and interact"

Do tell! Which feminist cornflakes packet did that come from?

Exactly what would you say are the specific differences between couples who could make a go of marriage back when and couples who can make a go of marriage now?

I don't see any difference in the essential qualities and motivation that need to be brought to the table to make a marriage work. For instance, what makes marriage impossible for many women (since the OP is directed at women) is the selfish me, me, me and SFA consideration of the person on the other side of the kitchen table. -With apologies for feminists and 'Progressives' who would believe that kitchen tables are passe and so would be conversations over a cuppa at the said kitchen table.

Honestly, if you are going to be spending your time talking about your own needs, marriage is not for you. If you are thinking exclusively of your own happiness as feminists are prone to do and you don't have any urge to make the fellow sitting opposite at the kitchen table (apologies, once again) happy, then forget it.

Couples always faced adversity and change, sick children, no money and rough times, however if you care for your husband and family and that is reciprocated then it will last.

The elephant in the room is the constant re-jigging of social policy by the egocentric, materialistic, educated middle class feminists and political 'Progressives' and the resultant negative consequences flowing from that. What can be expected from cows in the china shop like Nicola Roxon, Galah'd, Plibersek et al?

Foxy, my dear freedom fighter, you mirror the errant thoughts of my “masters level” educated daughter, she is downtrodden and seeking further emancipation it seems as well....Lets recap the plight of women in the first world:

Fifty years ago when a woman went for a divorce and the subsequent dividing up of the assets of the relationship, if she was a full time housewife, it counted for nothing in the eyes of the law. If she could not show an income stream she got shafted by the system.....that has changed considerably.

Fifty years ago the “housework” was work....laborious and energy consuming. Now with modern appliances in even the lowest of socio-economic households the whole lot can be done in an hour and a half. I can vac, do the dishes, the laundry and associated tidy up chores in that time and if I don’t have kids the day is my own. If the kids go to school, the day is my own.

Foxy>> But be assured that -
Most women I know do take pride in their appearance,
especially their fitness. And this,
- despite the fact that they
find pursuing the rigors of their careers,
maintaining intimate relationships, and raising
children, are no easy things to balance<<

Absolute rubbish Foxy....Women maintain the image sold to them by the media....if anything they “keep themselves” for their peers, other observers and their own self esteem.....not for their partner. They dress up to go out and dress down at home.

OTB....I agree....

Foxy and the other gals....what you complaining about?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZMbTFNp4wI

Dear SOG,

I've written on this topic previously.
The point that I was trying to make was that
yes, a great deal has changed over the years.
New economic roles have brought women greater
equality with men and also many fresh opportunities,
particularly the chance to experience careers and
achievement in the world beyond the home. But
many working women have not simply treaded their
housework for a career, rather, they have taken on
two jobs - one at home, one at work.

I can only speak from my experience but there are
many women I know who spend about 30 hours a week
in household chores. While their husbands may spend
about four hours. In short, some men are willing
to "help out" but not to "do their share."
One reason may well be that they simply don't want to
do housework. So whatever sweeping statements you
care to make the facts remain that
many men still avoid the problem of
co-ordinating two jobs as worker and homemaker, while
the women I know are often forced to face it squarely.
And that dear chap is the way it is for some of us -
in today's world.

You can talk about the "good old days" all you want
and no wonder - under the "old system" everyone
knew what their roles were, and most people of those
"good old days" unquestioningly behaved as they were
supposed to. The system constrained people, but it freed
them from the need to make choices.

Beyond the home, and work, social life is saturated with
messages about which sex is dominant and about how
men and women ought to behave, in particular, all forms
of the mass media, from television soap operas to the
lyrics of popular songs, to magazines, et cetera, they all
tend to emphasise fairly traditional gender stereotypes.
However,
no one of any intelligence pays much serious attention to that.
They're too busy with other interests.

As far as appearances go?
As a female once stated:

"I dress for women,
I undress for men."
(or words to that effect).

Well ear Foxy the harassed...did you at least get a smile from the song?

Oh dearie me, Foxy and the problems of the First World educated middle class feminist.

Grrls who maintain the rage by dumping on women who breast feed.

Oh, by the way, the new BMW 435i convertible is nice. Colour match with shoes though?

Dear SOG,

Me harassed?
No. I meditate daily, plus yoga helps
greatly - you should try it. Works
wonders.

BTW:
what song are you referring to you?

Dear SOG,

Here's a joke you might enjoy:

Joshua asks his mother how old she is.

His mother tells Josh that, "Gentlemen don't ask
Ladies those kind of questions."

Joshua then asks his mother how much she weighs.

His mother again replies that "That is not a question
that you should be asking a Lady."

Finally Joshua asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"

His mother tells Joshua to go to his room.

As Joshua goes to his room he trips over his mother's
handbag and her driver's licence falls out.

Joshua goes running back to his mother, greatly excited
and tells her
that, "I now know all about you mum. You're 36 years old,
you weigh 65 lbs, and daddy left you because you got
an "F" in sex!"

Foxy dear..does that mean the "M" on male licences stands for MONSTER...lol

Dear SOG,

You tell me - afterall it's your joke. ;-)

And here's another from me:

A man goes into a bar and asks for a glass of water.

The barman picks up a shot-gun and blasts close to
the man's ear.

The man says, "Thank You," and puts down a $5 note and
walks out of the bar.

Another man at the bar asks the bar-man , "Why did you
do that?"

The barman replies: "He had hiccups."
;-)

cont'd ...

Dear SOG,

See you on another thread.

BTW

Dear SOG,

In the joke I gave you earlier -

If "F" on a female's licence under "Sex"
meant "Fail," I would assume that an "M" on a male's
licence would mean "Meritorious."

Wouldn't you? ;-)